Reparations
by FireArcade
Summary: AU: Bo and Tamsin are partners in the police force. Lauren comes back into their lives after they thought her dead three years earlier. Can Bo make amends for how things ended? Bo/Lo adventures. Rating changed to M, cause, you know..
1. Chapter 1

It's the calm that you notice in the moments before your own death. More often than not everything around you is frantic but somehow your body finds a peace. Looking down at her blood filled hands it was that internal calm that struck Bo the most. Lying flat on her back with a single bullet embedded in her gut she was aware of her body slowly shutting itself down but was equally cognisant of the fact she didn't seem to care. All in her mind was calm.

Above her Tamsin screamed into her radio with one hand while applying pressure to Bo's wound with the other. This drug bust had quickly descended into the mother of all fuck ups, nothing had gone right for the two detectives from the start. On the job you're trained for days like this, days when the gods simply aren't smiling on you. All you can do is pray that that when your bad day comes nobody gets hurt. Today someone got hurt.

Bo couldn't hear the words but knew by the look on her partner's face that she wanted her to stay, the words hold on mouthed time and time again. Still, despite the desperate pleas from her colleague and friend, the brunette was leaning towards letting go. It took a strong paramedic to remove Tamsin from Bo's side, the blonde's hand on the wounded stomach quickly replaced with mountains of gauze. As they placed her inside the ambulance Bo watched Tamsin fight for a space by her side, she could see her distress and in her declining state felt compelled to reach out her bloodied hand in comfort.

As they arrived at the hospital Bo felt her vision drift in and out. She could feel herself being rushed inside the ER doors and could sense the swarming motion of hands upon her. As she watched the passing lights above her as she was pushed through the corridor at speed the only face she could make out was one doctor above her. Those eyes, those warm brown eyes that were so familiar to her, looking straight into her her own, asking questions of her. It was statement of disbelief more than anything as the brunette forced the word from her dry lips, "Lauren?"

But she knew it couldn't be, she'd lost Lauren first through her own act of stupidity and then, before she had a chance to make right between them, to the typhoon, to that awful bloody hurricane. But as she held the gaze of the doctor above her she was certain it was Lauren, "am I dead?" the words were whimpered out . Perhaps this was a cruel purgatory, a place to face the mistakes of her past before she had any hope of the happiness of a heaven or the misery of a hell. And so Bo closed her eyes and whispered words of redemption hoping that whoever needed to hear her remorse would and that finally she might be allowed some peace.

* * *

xxxxxxxxxxx

Tamsin paced the waiting room, up and back in the same repetitive motion. Watching on, Bo's sister Kenzi had felt sure the detective was probably ploughing indentations into the floor such was the fury and consistency of her strides. Waiting in addition to the two women was the Captain of Bo and Tamsin's precinct plus a couple of other colleagues. Downstairs another twenty or thirty police officers had gathered to wait for news. Bo was well liked and news of her shooting had spread quickly across the city. Everyone was anxious and the atmosphere at the hospital was tight with concern.

When Dr Lewis entered the waiting room to provide an update Tamsin stopped dead in her tracks. The stress of the evening was already too much but upon seeing Lauren standing in front of her the blonde just about lost her legs. Both she and Bo had thought Lauren dead, they had been told she was lost but now here she was standing in front of her, living and breathing. Reaching for a seat next to Kenzi the detective felt unsure what question to ask first, so she went with the one that she felt would be the easiest answer, at least for now.

"Doc, how is she?"

Lauren walked towards the huddle of concerned faces so as to allow her voice to remain calm and even.

"She's lost a lot blood. It appears the bullet has also hit her kidney and she's currently in surgery where I expect they'll attempt to remove it and assess the extent of additional internal damage. I have to tell you that at the moment it's touch and go."

All in the room were grateful at least that their friend stood any type of chance. It had seemed, at least to Tamsin a matter of hours ago, an unrealistic proposition. After a few more words of explanation Lauren turned to leave, promising the group that she'd update them as soon as she knew more. Tamsin followed the doctor out of the waiting room and grabbed her by the wrist.

"Yo Doc, this is either the night of the undead or news of your demise was grossly, and I mean very grossly, exaggerated"

Lauren stood for a moment with a confused look in her eye, "there were rumours of my demise?"

Tamsin eyed the doctor cautiously, she could see explaining to someone their own death was a difficult conversation to have at the best of times but with all the activity and emotion of the past couple of hours it was tougher still, "after the storm Doc, you were put on the UNs deceased persons list".

Lauren stood mouth agape, she knew the chaos that followed that night, and she knew how close she had come to end, but with few friends and no family to report to she had never thought to check the initial death listings. "I had no idea, I guess everyone I knew except you and.." the doctor paused and Tamsin could see emotion envelope her, the resolute woman before her was on the brink of cracking, "..and Bo were in Honiara with me". And that was the truth. Tamsin and Bo had only left the Pacific weeks before that major hurricane had hit the outlying Solomon Islands. Things between Bo and Lauren had ended in worst possible way in the days prior to the brunette completing her tour. For Bo the devastation at losing Lauren and having to leave her in the Pacific was brutal but then when news of her death came she was simply inconsolable.

"Well Doc, the good lord you ain't but I for one am damn happy to see you resurrected. And Bo, well, when she pulls out of this she's probably going to see your arrival literally as the second coming. It broke her you know, thinking you were dead".

In the three long years that had passed since Bo left, Lauren had lived things between that time and this that she would prefer to forget. When Bo had left the Pacific it marked the beginning of the worst period of her life, like the brunette's departure was a catalyst for the world almost literally falling apart around her. When she saw her former lover wheeled in to her emergency room she had struggled for a moment to hold her nerve. The woman she had once loved, now so broken, bloodied and fragile, was once again on the cusp of being taken from her. She had been shocked by how much it affected her. All those feelings she thought long gone forced to the surface once more.

In her mind now however nothing had changed, the hurt inflicted on her was still as real this day as it had been three years earlier. As a doctor she had been taught to avoid providing false hope and she put those learnings to work with the detective standing In front of her now. "Tamsin, it's good to see you too and I'll do everything I can for Bo now, but when this thing is done it doesn't change anything between her and me, you understand that right?"

Tamsin nodded gently, she knew Bo well enough to know that this was the beginning of her atonement. Rather than force the subject the tall blonde instead decided her energy right now was better served on her partner's recovery. She couldn't help however giving the doctor a snide knowing look while nodding in agreement, "sure thing Doc, sure thing".

Lauren turned away once more trying to hide her frustration. She had always liked Tamsin's toughness and spunk but hated how the tall blonde seemed always to find the way to say something and mean something else entirely. The worst part of it all was that on so many occasions in the past that snide knowing look had actually turned out to be the source of truth.

* * *

**The Solomon Islands - three years earlier**  
Tamsin stepped out of the shower in the hotel room that she shared with Bo in Honaria. The two woman had arrived in the small Pacific nation less than 24 hours earlier. This was the tall blonde woman's fourth shower in that time. The second she stepped out of the bathroom she was sweating again, causing her to growl in frustration, "humidity is the essence of all evil". Nothing here survived long if it couldn't survive the wet heat.

Lying on one of the beds in the room Bo looked up briefly and smiled before returning her attention to her regional assistance handbook. Tamsin could see that the brunette was not going to allow them to treat this program as a holiday, Bo was already bringing the same committed diligence that she brought to her policing in Canada. They were in the Pacific as part of a Commonwealth civil policing program to assist local law enforcement agencies with upskilling, procedures and training. For the next six months they would be working alongside their counterparts in the Solomon Islands, Fiji and Vanuatu. When the offer had been made to Bo and Tamsin they jumped at opportunity to escape a Canadian winter. They were both outstanding police officers and could offer a lot and in Tamsin's mind a nice tan and some piña coladas were simply attractive perks of what was going to be a tough job. Already however she was finding the heat hard to bare, you don't so much sunbath here as turn into a molten puddle of sweat.

Closing the handbook Bo gathered herself from the bed and started to flick through the pile of clothing in her suitcase. She had not packed appropriately. Leather has no place in the tropics.

"How do you think people will be dressed for this meet and greet this evening?"

Tamsin still wiping sweat from her body with her towel cringed at the thought of needing to wear any clothes at this point, "it's at a bar called the Dancing Cocktail I think we're safe to assume the only formalities will likely involve what colour umbrella you'd like in your drink. I get the sense formal attire here involves wearing a clean sarong and deodorant".

Bo gave a light laugh, she'd of course done her research but there was a part of her that was terrified that she'd make some major cultural faux pas that would lead to a major international incident. This program was a big deal for her and one that she'd hoped would lead to quicker promotions on her return to Toronto. Searching through clothing once more she settled on a pair of fitted shorts and a white shirt. Neat, casual, inoffensive. It's a shame the night itself didn't pan out that way too.

* * *

xxxxxx  
Tamsin was right, this meet and greet evening of police participants from across the Commonwealth was absolute drunken debauchery. The only thing this party lacked was a sense of formality. Put a group of Australians, Canadians, Brits and Kiwis in a room together, mix alcohol and heat and this tends to be the result. Bo had initially attempted to maintain a level of decorum, even if her friend did not. But then Dyson walked into the bar. Of all the bars in all of the world he had to walk into the Dancing Cocktail, a million uncivilised miles from anywhere. Tamsin had almost choked on her straw when she saw him cross the bar. He was a fellow officer from a different police precinct in Toronto and he and Bo had a history and what a torrid history it was. As soon as Bo caught a glimpse of him she began drinking a little faster. Tamsin shook her head as she watched them interact for the first time. This was not going to end well, it always began with friendly fucking and ended in rounds of arguments between the two. They had a compulsion to inflict a wonderful misery on each other. When a slightly drunken and cheerful Bo skipped up to her partner and advised that Dyson had revealed that the six Canadian police representatives were all being housed together within the next few days Tamsin spat out her candied cherry in disgust. Bo and Dyson living together, this could not be any worse.

Bo could see the look on Tamsin's face and knew exactly what she was thinking. "Don't worry Tamsin, I'm not going back to that mess, new country new start. We're just friends". Tamsin simply rolled her eyes. Bo in an attempt at levity grabbed the blonde's hand to drag her to the dance floor but Tamsin was able to remove herself easily from her grip. The sudden disengagement from the blonde sent Bo hurtling backwards smashing straight into a body behind her. Turning around quickly Bo saw a gorgeous blonde woman dripping in what appeared to be a jug of beer. "Oh my god! I'm so sorry" Bo quickly began wiping down the woman with her drunken paws, only to have her hands slapped away, "please stop I'm fine, I just need something to dry myself off". Bo looked up at the woman and they stared at each other for the briefest moment before the brunette ran to the bar to fetch a cloth. Tamsin watched the whole thing unfold and couldn't help but laugh.

Sauntering up to the beer covered woman Tamsin noticed that her eyes had not left Bo, "see something you like?" The woman quickly looked to Tamsin who was now sidled up next to her eyeing Bo too. Patting herself down again Tamsin could see the woman blush before she looked to the taller blonde and questioned her "what?". Tamsin might have been drunk but she was in her own mind absurdly confident in what she had just seen, "you were checking out my friend's ass and I was just asking whether you had seen anything you liked?" The smaller blonde was at a loss for words, trying briefly to find a retort she instead just continued to blush for a moment before the taller blonde put her out of her misery. Offering a hand she broke the deadlock, "I'm Tamsin, and that quality piece of ass you were eyeing off is Bo, we're here with the police exchange program from Canada". The smaller blonde took her hand and and shook it "Lauren, I'm a doctor here, Canadian too, and just for the record I wasn't eyeing off your friend's ass". Tamsin gave Lauren a knowing smirk before nodding, "sure thing Doc, sure thing".


	2. Chapter 2

Sometimes the hardest part of recovery is opening your eyes for the first time. Bo could hear Kenzi saying her name and could feel the warm grip of her hand and still she struggled to force open her lids. They sat like weights upon her, fused shut by a combination of drugs and her body's desperate plea for more rest. Giving up was easy in those moments as the comfort of unconsciousness washed across her confused mind. She listened to Kenzi's words as she encouraged her to come back from wherever it was that had her. Hearing the fractured concern of her sister's voice willed her back from the darkness and for small moments she was able look upon her face to see her tear swollen blue eyes light up before she closed down again.

Tamsin watched Kenzi closely over those initial couple of nights of Bo's recovery. She knew that they were the only real family each other had. Both woman had been through the foster system until their early teens. The older Bo was then taken in at 13 by a childless older couple and she felt lucky to have fallen into their warm household. Bo even took the family name, a decision that brought the Dennis family a great deal of pride. She'd never asked or expected to be treated like a daughter but had always felt like one. So when Bo was old enough to leave the family home and make her own way she'd hoped the Dennis's would take on another child and provide them with the same safety and comforts of home they had provided her. It was then that Kenzi had come into their lives.

Where Bo had been a quiet unassuming teenager, street tough but with a soft heart, Kenzi was much harder with strong defences up against anyone and everyone who tried to get near. Even though she no longer lived in the house, Bo's foster parents had asked her to take Kenzi under her wing, provide some stability and be a younger stable influence. In those early years the young teenager had made it hard for Bo, running off any chance she got, stealing money, giving lip and generally being difficult to give a damn about. But giving up on people wasn't in Bo's nature and she wore the young Kenzi down. When their foster parents both passed away within a few years of each other both young woman were left alone again, just the two of them. It solidified their already strong growing relationship.

It had always been Kenzi that was there through the academy graduations, the work promotions and advances. So when Bo was offered the opportunity to go to then Pacific it was her little sister who told her she'd be mad to pass up the opportunity. Deep down Bo was concerned about leaving Kenzi for six months alone, even though she was rarely the creator of it she had a habit of finding trouble. Both woman were surprised that at the end of the six months it was Bo who would come home with the delicate stitches of her life frayed and torn.

Tamsin admired Kenzi in many ways. She was tough, could handle herself with all types of people and was resilient. Looking upon her now however, slumped into the the worn hospital chair by her sister's bedside she could see that resilience fading. It had been a long couple of days in vigil. Even when the doctors told them that Bo would pull through the relief was only brief. What they both needed now was completely selfish they knew, but more than anything they just wanted to hear Bo's voice, it would only be then that they would be convinced she'd recover.

* * *

xxxx

Both Kenzi and Tamsin were asleep in their bedside chairs when Lauren quietly made her way into Bo's room. The doctor watched them both for movement but neither stirred. Initially she simply looked over the brunette's medical charts flipping over pages that she already well knew the information of. Then she moved towards Bo's intravenous lines and checked the fluid levels within her drip, all the while inching closer to the patient herself. When she was confident that the two bedside companions were not aware of her presence she simply took a moment to stare at the face of brunette who seemed so peaceful. She couldn't say how long she held her eyes over that face below her. Lauren had watched Bo like this on many nights before while the woman slept next to her and had often become entranced, so she gave a slight jump when Tamsin spoke quietly interrupting the solitary moment.

"Do you remember that boat ride to Nugu Doc? Right after we had first arrived in the Solomon's? Bo thought she was going to die and you were the only one that could convince her otherwise. You always looked out for her".

Lauren, heart rate still jumping from the interruption smiled at the memory and nodded gently, "if I remember correctly you weren't much better". With two voices in the room now at play Kenzi began to stir and that was enough for the doctor to politely take her leave. Before she could get out the door the concerned dark hair woman sat up quickly, "is everything ok with Bo Doc?" Lauren stopped at the hinges of the doorway, "she's doing really well". Giving a weak smile to both Lauren left the room quietly once more.

Tamsin gave a look tht Kenzi immediately noticed as odd, "that's a hot Doc Tam Tam, is she your type?"

Tamsin scoffed at the comment, "I don't have a type Kenz just conquests, besides your sister would pull me apart at the seams for even looking at that lucious form for pleasure".

Kenzi gave Tamsin a confused looked. The detective hadn't wanted to tell her that Bo's emergency room Doctor was in fact _the_ Dr Lauren Lewis, hell, she was fairly certain Kenzi hadn't even caught Lauren's name the night of the shooting and if she did was clearly in too much of a state to piece anything together. Bo had likely shared photos of Lauren but even those in the context of sun, sand and sea were a world away from the stark whites of the hospital ER.

"That's Lauren Kenz, Bo's Lauren"

The diminutive woman flew up in her seat slapping her hand down hard on her thigh twice quickly in disbelief, "holy shitballs she looks good for a corpse! What the hell? Was she running a insurance scam?"

Tamsin barely moved in her chair, yawning out her response, "I'm not sure what happened, she seemed shocked too when I told her she was dead. I think she was pretty shaken to see Bo"

"Lauren Lewis, damn! BoBo is going to lose her mind when she wakes up"

Kenzi's mind was running at a million miles an hour, her heart pumping fast and her breathing quick. But it all felt like it stopped instantly when she heard her sister growl in discomfort from her bed, eyes flicking open and mouth parting slowly as she's whispered the word, "_Lauren_".

* * *

**Solomon Islands - 3 years earlier**

"Jesus Bo, we need to go! You're acting like a teenage boy".

Tamsin was particularly snarky this morning. This boat ride to the island of Nugu was going to take two hours and it meant an early 6am start. Bo had volunteered them to do a medical supply drop to the island in the hope of spending some time with the elusive Dr Lewis. Ever since that night at the Dancing Cocktail the brunette had developed something of a crush. They had been formally introduced to Lauren as a field physician a couple of days later at the program induction day. She explained her role in working with local community health workers, providing them with training and attending to emergency situations when they arise. She mentioned that day that delivery of supplies, many of them donated, was a important part of the job and that she was always looking for volunteers to assist her. At the end of the day Bo sought the doctor out and offered she and Tamsin up for the next supply run. Lauren politely thanked Bo and said she'd let the program coordinator know when they were needed.

Since that time three weeks had passed and Bo had only seen Lauren on two occasions, albeit both times briefly. The first was on the harbour coming back in on a Saturday morning with with a couple of local men in a small boat packed with diving equipment. She'd called out to Lauren who took a moment to twig to the face yelling at her before she smiled and waved. The second time was back at the Dancing Cocktail the following weekend. Bo had found herself on the dance floor with a drunk Dyson who had grabbed her by the waist and brought her in tightly flush against his own body. Bo had for just a second contemplated allowing him to take it further but caught herself just as their lips were about to touch. As she pulled away she looked up to see Lauren's face and eyes upon her from where she sat with a couple of friends at a table by the dance floor. Bo immediately felt a wave of embarrassment and regret, it was then she knew she had developed feelings for the doctor.

On the Monday while working on the criminal processing component of the new regional policing operations manual, Bill, the overweight and forever sweating program coordinator handed over a piece of paper with a number on it. "That's Dr Lewis's phone number. She asked me to get you to call her if you were still interested in doing a supply run with her, she's due to do one this weekend". Bo felt like she'd been handed a love note in class.

Now in the minutes before she and Tamsin needed to leave Bo had her face in the mirror of their shared bathroom, fixing and refixing her hair, face and clothes. She wanted to look perfect. "We all look like shit Bo, this is the tropics, god had never intended us to wear mascara here" Tamsin was in no mood to support her friend's lusftful endeavours.

Arriving down at the harbour both woman made their way to the state of the art police crushing boat. It was the finest boat in the port and came courtesy of the UN. They waited for about ten minutes alone on the dock before they saw Lauren make her was towards them.

"Ladies, thanks so much for agreeing to help", with Tamsin's words still ringing in her ears Bo looked at the doctor amazed at how pristine she managed to look in this god awful weather.

Bo flashed what she hoped was a gorgeous smile and picked up her own rucksack, "Anytime, where's the supplies? Should we start loading them on to the boat?"

Lauren let out a small laugh and looked at the two sweltering woman before her, "we're all loaded but this isn't the boat we're taking, that is". Lauren pointed down the harbour to what was not so much a boat as an oversized fibreglass canoe with an outboard motor attached to the back.

"You've got to be shitting me", Bo threw a pointed glare at the shocked Tamsin before smiling back at Lauren, "great, that's great".

* * *

xxxx

The worst thing about seasickness is the lack of relief. The act of vomiting provides no reprise at all, your stomach just keeps contracting while your eyes search for the steady lines of the horizon. Bo had lasted about 20 mins before throwing up the first time. In between deep breaths the brunette allowed herself to be mortified, she was disgusted with herself and could only imagine what the good doctor thought of her. Lauren and Michael, the 'boat's' captain, were clearly old sea hands steady of feet and stomach.

"I'm going to die, I don't think I've ever felt this terrible in my life", Bo yelled over to a Tamsin who was looking green herself. Lauren was at the back of the boat and shifted her body across two seating planks to get to the almost weeping brunette. Handing over a bottle of water she began to gently rub her back, "you know I was worse than you on my first run too, the wrong conditions really can do this to the best us". Although feeling no better for the words Bo concentrated on the warm hand on her back, she had never felt so good and so bad at the same time.

When the boat pulled into the sheltered cove of Nugu both Bo and Tamsin gasped at the extraordinary beauty in front of them. The sea as clear as anything either of them had ever seen and below the surface the bursting colours of coral and fish. Lauren leaned down into Bo's ear, "I bet you'd do it all again for a view like this".

Bo turned around to face the blonde and smiled, the calmer water already providing relief, "absolutely", although it wasn't the tropical view she was talking about.

* * *

xxxx  
The three woman unloaded the boat and hiked into the small community dropping off supplies as they went. The children would run to greet them as they arrived, mouths red with Beatlenut but smiles as wide as day. People here knew Lauren and she was welcomed warmly by men and woman alike. She spent the afternoon being approached by people with varying minor aliments and she tended them all carefully and gently. Bo watched her work and was in awe of her way with people. She had clearly mastered the local tongue and was now of the community itself.

It was sweaty work loading and unloading supplies but even Tamsin seemed to enjoy herself. As the early evening came upon them Lauren approached the two detectives and handed over a couple of warm beers, "you've earned these ladies, if you want to grab your packs I'll show you to where we're bunking tonight"

The three woman walked a short distance back towards the beach and around the cove slightly to where two beach huts sat, they were basic but this was still the closest thing to paradise that either police office had ever seen. Lauren could see the look of disbelief of their faces, "I usually take the first hut, it has two beds so one of you is welcome to share with me". Tamsin, being the good friend she was came to the rescue, "I have to sleep in a room with her every night Doc so if you wouldn't mind taking her off my hands that would be great". Bo almost dropped to her knees and kissed her partner's feet.

The three spent the rest of the evening playing cards and drinking beer on the porch of Lauren's hut until the darkness set in. It was as good a night as either Bo or Tamsin had had since their arrival in the Pacific, filled with conversation and accusations of card cheating.

With the moon shining fully upon the sea Lauren stood up quickly and smiled at the two woman, "there's something I want to show you both" as she walked down to the beach the two detectives looked at each other briefly and Bo shrugged her shoulders before following the doctor down to the water. When they reached the beach Lauren was ankle deep in water, she looked at both woman and then kicked the water surface and in doing so she sent what appeared to be a small wave of tiny stars flying into the air.

"Wow! What was that" Bo's eyes were wide like a child's.

"It's phosphorus in the seawater, it's amazing isn't it?" Lauren walked out of the water towards the woman to show her legs covered in blue shining dots. Tamsin and Bo both ran to the water and began kicking the sea at each other in amazement. It was indeed a magical end to what was an amazing day.

After a period of frolicking, which really was not her thing, Tamsin decided it was time for bed, leaving Bo and Lauren sitting on the sand together. The brunette could feel the butterflies build in her stomach, she wanted more than anything to finish the day by grabbing the doctor and kissing her. Everything was just perfectly set for her to do so. She played the scenario of how to work it over and over in her mind but just couldn't decide what the next move looked like.

The indecision and growing tension was cut as the brunette felt a hand slip on top of her own. Turning her head to face the doctor beside her their eyes met and Bo's mouth opened in question. Before she could get a word out the blonde had her lips upon her in a gentle kiss that was soft and warm. Lauren pulled away slowly rubbing her nose to the side of Bo's before whispering, "I thought if I left that to you I'd be waiting all night". Bo grinned, she was probably right, but that would be the last time Lauren Lewis would ever have to wait on Bo Dennis for a physical advance. The brunette leaned in and kissed the doctor again this time with a desire that showed her that her intentions were very clear, she had always wanted to have her even if she was a little slow off the mark.


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N - Hey folks. Ok this chapter comes with a warning. I wrote this while traveling about 200,000km, across six flights and more time zones than I can count. I'm now posting it in a haze of jet lagged induced sleep deprivation, so what makes perfect sense to me now may in fact be a jumbled mess. Perhaps evidence of why I should really get a Beta lol. Thanks so much for the reviews, follows and faves - so awesome. I really hope you enjoy this chapter, it's a bit longer than I usually do but felt like it needed both the present and past worked out a little. Enjoy!_

* * *

There were very words few from Bo in those initial few hours after she woke as she was still drowsy with confusion. The brunette drifted in and out but this time it was sleep claiming her tired and recovering body rather than unconsciousness. Kenzi held her breath each time she watched her sister drift away, occasionally squeezing her hand to ensure that she could rouse her should she need. The night passed without incident and in the morning Tamsin left early to return to her apartment for a shower before facing the long day of work ahead.

When Kenzi awoke from her slumped over position in the bedside chair she opened her eyes to see Bo smiling at her warmly. The sight brought a flood of tears as she launched herself from her chair and on to her sister's bed.

"Oooow ouch, Kenz, careful, careful" Bo's voice was hoarse but the mere sound of it had Kenzi squeezing her harder. Pulling away Kenzi's eyes were bursting with emotion and in them Bo got her first glimpse of how close she must have come to death.

"You are in so much trouble young lady" Kenzi slapped Bo's arm playfully, "I thought we agreed I'd go first in some tragic fashion, but no, you always have to try and lead the way don't you"

"In fairness Kenz I failed so I'm not sure you can hold this against me for too long" Bo winked at the clearly unimpressed face of her sister.

Adjusting slowly in her bed to allow her sister space to lay next to her the two woman shared an unspoken moment before Kenzi, voice full of earnestness, whispered without shifting to look at her sister, "I can't lose you BoBo, I just can't". Bo knew that those words were spoken in truth. Both woman suffered the same great fear of loneliness that plagued so many who had lives filled with abandonment. The thought brought back to Bo her last vague memory of the night of the shooting. The vision of Lauren working over her as she was rushed through the ER.

"Did I die Kenz? Did the doctors say whether I needed to be resuscitated?"

Kenzi shifted onto her side to face Bo and gently removed a rogue stray of hair from her sister's face, tucking it behind her ear, "if you did they didn't tell me. Why? Did you see a big blazing light that you wanted to run to? Or worse, is hell a group home? I knew it, hell is the care system isn't it?"

Bo looked at the ceiling, pondering in her own mind what it was that she had seen and how she could possibly explain how real seeing Lauren had felt to her. She'd read about the body releasing endorphins just before death to provide a sense of happiness, calm and peace, perhaps that was all it was? Her own mind's way of coping for what was about to come.

"It was the strangest thing, as I was being rushed into the ER I thought I saw..." She hesitated, thinking how foolish this was all going to sound but Kenzi was now intrigued, "saw what, saw what?"

Bo took a deep breath and felt a lump in her throat develop as just the pain of uttering her name was almost too much to bear, "Lauren, I thought I saw Lauren".

Kenzi's body stiffened and she looked up at Bo whose eyes were on her seeking some vindication that these kinds of hallucinations were ok, they were common place and completely explainable. Instead she saw a look akin to terror in her sister's eyes as she shifted in her position before removing herself completely from the bed. Bo watched Kenzi pace the floor directly next to her in fast motion, almost dancing beside her in agitation. "Kenz? Are you ok?"

Kenzi was completely unprepared for this, she thought that they would perhaps tell Bo of Lauren's reemergence in a day or two after the brunette was a little further along in her recovery. Kenzi had hoped that Tamsin, having really been the only person to speak to the doctor, might actually be here for this conversation. But what was she to do now? Lie to her sister? Let her believe that she was going crazy? The diminutive woman stopped her pacing and took a deep breath before turning to face the hospital bed.

"Look BoBo, you're not going crazy and in fact you're probably going to think I'm the one on the heavy pain meds but you more than likely did see the good doctor, she works in emergency here and she did treat you on arrival". Kenzi watched carefully for the reaction on Bo's face unsure whether the response was going to be one of elation or disbelief. It turned out to be closer to anger.

"Kenzi what are you talking about, Lauren's dead and this is not funny at all, not even a little", Bo began to pull herself up in her bed, pain speckled all over her face. It was then that Kenzi noticed the picked up rate of the heart monitor beside the bed, her sister was clearly becoming distressed.

Moving to her side, Kenzi rubbed the brunette's arm as she could see the tears now welling in her eyes,"Yo! BoBo deep breaths, deep breaths, it's ok. Look, Tamsin will be back after work and she can explain more than I can, but I promise I'm not messing with your head, I don't know how she's alive but she is and she's very definitely here in this hospital"

Bo pulled her arm away from Kenzi, still shaking her head in disbelief, her breathing erratic and the her heart rate eliciting a furious reaction of beeping from the machine by her bedside. It was all enough to set an alarm off in the room that had two nurses by her side almost instantly. Kenzi stood aghast at all that was happening. Her sister again in trouble, "what's happening, please help her".

One of the nurses forcibly removed Kenzi from the bedside, allowing for greater access to the struggling patient. All Kenzi could hear were words, nothing that was happening made sense so when a doctor entered the room to assist she became certain she had just killed her sister and began to sob.

After a few minutes the sound of the heart rate machine slipped back to a less angry rhythm and the activity around Bo slowed as the nurses now concentrated on making her comfortable. One of the nurses approached Kenzi who had her back firmly against the wall by the door, her face covered in fear, "we've given her a mild sedative so she can sleep, she's going to be ok sweetheart, sometimes the shock of where they are and everything that's happened can be too much". Kenzi nodded, acknowledging that she'd understood what had been said but she knew otherwise. Bo was most definitely in shock but what other way was there to be when you are told the love of your life has risen from the grave.

* * *

xxxxx

Kenzi called Tamsin and explained to her what had happened with Bo earlier in the day. She didn't want to face the conversation alone again when Bo woke up so the detective took the afternoon off and returned to the hospital. She was there less than an hour when the brunette began to stir again.

They both watched as Bo tentatively opened her eyes, the slow realization of where she was returning to her face. She blinked heavily and licked her dry lips as she looked towards the women sat beside her. Kenzi stood up and brought her some water that the brunette sipped slowly at first and then with increased vigor as her body immediately responded to its cooling effect. When Kenzi removed the cup from her lips she sat by Bo on the bed holding her hand tightly.

Bo's eyes travelled to Tamsin and the detective knew exactly what the next words out of her partner's mouth were going to be.

"Is it true Tamsin, is she alive?" Immediately the emotion returned to her voice and Kenzi, fearing for a repeat of the morning's events, shot a concerned look at the blonde.

The detective tried to set the ground rules early, "Bo, I need you to hold your shit together now ok?" The brunette gave a weak nod but pressed her still, "is it true Tamsin?"

"It's as true as that bullet in your gut Bo-ster, she's alive and looks great, you're going destroy your panties when you see her"

"Tamsin! Jeez, was that necessary?" Kenzi threw her head back in disgust.

"What? Kenz you never got to see these two in action together, they couldn't keep their hands off each other, it was a five month sexathon"

Tamsin returned her face to Bo who was shaking her head in disbelief, "how? How is this this possible?" The blonde shrugged her shoulders, "I've only had a brief chat with her Bo, she was surprised we thought she was dead but that's about as far into it as we got".

The brunette's brain raced for answers to the questions that now flooded in, "how long has she been back in Toronto? Did she seem happy to see me? Is she back for good? Did she say she wanted to see me?"

"Hold fire sheriff, like I said, we didn't get into it. I can't say she seemed pleased to see you given what state you were in when we brought you into her ER Bo, but she was clearly very very concerned for you".

Starting to shift from her bed again Bo attempted to swing her legs round and onto the floor but let out an agonizing groan in pain as she realized she no longer had functioning stomach muscles. Just as she was writhing in agony a nurse walked into the room,

"And what do you think you are doing missy? You don't have a kidney removed and get up and just walk out of your hospital bed you know? What's this all about?"

Bo fixing herself back onto her pillow looked up at the older matronly woman above her, "I need to find a doctor at this hospital".

"Well we've got plenty of those honey, one will be dropping in to check on you shortly"

Bo shook her head at the woman who was clearly misunderstanding, "no, no, there is one particular doctor, Lauren Lewis, I need to see her".

"Oh, Doctor Lewis, she's one of our primary ER docs, she gets you folks to ICU but she doesn't look after patients once they're here"

Tamsin could see the frustration on Bo's face and stepped in, "Listen dalrin', we're old friends of Doc Lewis and, well, we'd just love for her to pop in and say hi, do you think you could arrange that?" The detective gave the older woman a wink that only drew a look of utter confusion from the nurse.

Eyeing Tamsin nervously before looking back to Bo, "Doctor Lewis isn't on shift today, I'm not sure when she's back in"

Bo looked with despair to Kenzi and Tamsin, "I need to see her Tamsin. I need to see her today, now if possible" then shifting her attention again to the nurse, "can you give me her phone number, can I call her?"

The nurse was beginning to become incredulous, "Honey, I can't just go around handing out the numbers of our doctors without their permission"

Bo was pleading now but unsure of the truth of her words, "she'd want you to give her number to me please, we're close friends"

"Darling, I can see you really want to see her and when she's back on ward I'll let her know you are asking for her, but if she wanted you to have her number you'd have it and I need to respect that until I hear otherwise from her, I'm sorry", and with that the nurse walked out and Bo felt like screaming in frustration.

Tamsin moved over to Bo, "Nurse Ratchet might not be willing to break the rules but let me make a call to the gang at the precinct and see how much of hot pant's privacy we can invade for you".

* * *

xxxx

**Solomon Islands, three years earlier**

There seemed to be one mixed tape of songs that made the rounds from party to party among the expatriates based in the Solomon's. Bo had only been in the country for a period of one month and already she knew the playlist by heart. Every weekend there was a leaving party or two for someone, a fly-in who had a better life to build somewhere else in the world once they escaped the duties of the developing one. Tonight it was Mark Duncan, the small and slightly odd looking British pharmacist who had a reputation of being something of a ladies man, on meeting him Bo could not conceive of how. Mark had been on the Islands for nearly three years and in the development game that was a number you wore like that as a badge of honor. Very few stay forever, there was usually something that got them in the end. More often than not it was the heat.

This party was no different to most of the others Bo and Tamsin had been to during their stay, except where usually they'd normally only stick about an hour, make nice and meet the new faces, tonight they were waiting. Drink in hand Tamsin was leant against the banister of the outside balcony seeking out the last iota of relief in the cooling night air.

"Explain to me why we're still here?" Tamsin knocked back the last remnants of her revoltingly warm beer, threatening to spit it out before forcing it down. Bo, looking out towards the beach below sighed, "I need to see her Tamsin, it's nearly been a week and she said she was hoping to be here".

After their night together in Nugu Lauren had returned to a night shift at the small hospital she was based at in Honiara. The following day she flew out to Choiseul Province, about as far west of Guadalcanal as the Solomon's stretch. She was to be based there for 5 to 7 days depending on happenings at the local Taro hospital. Before she left she had told Bo that she was hoping to be home in time to get to Mark Duncan's leaving party on the Saturday night. Phone reception across the Islands was mediocre at best and in more isolated regions you were lucky to gain any service at all. Bo had heard nothing from Lauren all week and it was playing on her mind.

The morning after their night together in Nugu Bo had woken in the hut to find Lauren already up and gone. She returned from some final health checks in the local villages about mid-morning and the three women were met by Michael and returned back to Honiara by boat. Mercifully the trip back was smoother and neither Tamsin nor Bo suffered the seasickness that had caught them so ill on the journey across. With a roaring outboard motor however there was little or no chance for Bo and Lauren to discuss what had happened between them the night before and given Lauren's needed to rush off to the hospital on their arrival back to Honiara Bo was beginning to feel like perhaps theirs was a one night thing. She desperately hoped that wasn't the case. If Lauren was to be at this party tonight she wanted to assess whether their interaction still had that chemistry that was so apparent to her in their other meetings.

Bo had been eyeing the front door of the stilted house for the better part of two hours, knowing that the last plane from the Choiseul Province had flown in but still no Lauren. Tamin's constant complaining had just about got her broken and ready to leave when she saw the doctor walk in the door with a giant watermelon with a red bow on it under one arm and a bottle of tequila in her other hand. Lauren walked straight over to Mark Duncan and handed them over, clearly as some kind of in-joke that made the Brit laugh loudly. The two obviously knew each other well and for a moment Bo wondered whether Lauren formed a part of the small man's womanizing reputation. She felt a surge of jealousy flow through her. Bo realized she was staring just at the moment when Lauren looked up and across the room to meet her eyes. Almost instinctively in the act of being caught Bo quickly looked away. When she looked back up the blonde had returned to her conversation with Mark and his friends.

"Smooth BoBo, real smooth", Tamsin had caught the entire encounter. Bo was furious with herself, "shut up Tamsin, let's have another drink". Tamsin huffed in complaint at needing to stay any longer but she knew that she had wingman duties to perform and could not leave her partner hanging. Bo walked over to the kitchen sink which was filled with cold water and melting ice and was grabbing a couple of beers from the makeshift cooler when she felt two arms wrap around her. For a moment her fears of Lauren rejecting her slipped away before she sensed the masculine presence of the grip upon her, these were not the doctor's arms. Quickly turning around she saw Dyson smiling above her, "hey beautiful, I've barely seen you all week, where have you been?"

Bo quickly disengaged herself from his arms, but Dyson pulled her back towards him, "I can't believe you're still resisting this, you know where we're heading Bo, the same place we always do, so why don't we call this a six month trial 'us' period before we head back to Toronto?"

Bo shook her head, "we already know that we don't work as an 'us' Dyson, and I don't want to spoil my time here getting into a mess with you".

Dyson, a little drunk and more than a little disappointed with the response, allowed the brunette out of his clutches but Bo could sense by the look in his eyes that he didn't believe her. For now however she just wanted to get away from him before this became a scene.

Grabbing the beers, she headed out to balcony where she'd left Tamsin only to get there and find her gone. Bo's shoulder's dropped; she didn't want to stay at this party if it meant facing a disinterested Lauren and an overly interested Dyson alone. Turning to leave she banged straight into the doctor at the balcony doors and almost spilt the beers in her hand over the blonde.

Lauren laughed, "we've got to stop meeting like this", Bo smiling with her, "yeah, clearly I prefer you to wear your beers as opposed to drink them".

Lauren reached out and took one of the two beers from her hand and brought it to her mouth, "you weren't leaving where you?", Bo noticed that Lauren's voice was now filled with trepidation.

"No, I was just on the lookout for Tamsin, I had left her here to go and fetch us these drinks", the two women were now holding eye contact and Bo felt herself becoming a puddle of nerves.

Pointing her nose across Bo's shoulder Lauren directed the brunette to turn her head, "I think Tamsin might have made a new friend". Bo swung around only to see the tall blonde engaged in some heavy kissing with the much smaller Mark Duncan by the stereo, the sight of which almost caused her to choke on her beer.

"Wow, that's, well to be honest I really don't know what to make of that" Bo was laughing now. Turning back to face Lauren she could see the blonde's eyes pouring over her body. Feeling a surge of confidence Bo reached for Lauren's hand and leaned into her ear, "do you want to get out of here?", Lauren smiled, her eyes now awake with want and desire as she nodded.

Leaving hand in hand across the makeshift lounge room dance floor with the eyes of all partygoers on them the two woman would become the second talking point of the party the following day. The first of course being how the hell Mark Duncan managed to pull another hot woman.

* * *

xxxx

The two women arrived back at Lauren's small house that she shared with a fellow doctor and her best friend, Daniel Wiseman. They had met while working in Papua New Guinea and had come to rely on each other for support over the five years of the friendship. Daniel was gay and they both knew that finding any type of long term relationship in this part of the world doing the work they were doing, was almost impossible, so instead they were each others emotional handbags. Like Lauren, Daniel spent a good deal of time traveling out to the remote islands as well as providing some support to his old clinic in PNG when required. So tonight, the house was empty for Lauren and Bo to use at their will.

Bo sat herself down in at the quaint kitchen table that sat within a rectangular room with views overlooking the ocean. She noticed this house was more a home than any other she had been to that was lived in by expatriates. Given the time Daniel and Lauren had known each other and two years living together in Honiara she guessed it wasn't all that surprising.

Lauren pulled a bag of ice out of the freezer and began to chip away at it before pouring she and Bo and glass of gin mixed with tonic and lime, "helps keep the malaria away" she smiled as she passed one to Bo.

Lauren picked at some of the chipped ice that sat discarded on the table and placed it in her mouth, sucking on it briefly before biting down. "Ice is the thing that makes me happiest, if I can have ice I can be happy" she laughed. In a country where the government, which is perpetually broke, owns the utility companies there can be long hours without electricity, so the gift of frozen water is genuinely a cherished commodity.

Watching Lauren suck on the ice had Bo's desires peaking and when the blonde put another shard in her mouth the brunette surprised her by leaning in and kissing her, tasting for a moment the coldness slip across her tongue. As the ice was dissolved Bo felt the growing warmth of Laurens tongue gently play with her own as the intensity of their kiss increased.

Bo broke away from their kiss and stood up to empty her gin into the sink before refilling the glass with more ice and taking the blonde by the hand again, "where's your bedroom?" Lauren could see immediately what the brunette had in mind as she gazed seductively at her biting her lip in anticipation.

When they arrived in her room Lauren lit a couple of candles by her bed, scented beautifully but also acting as a deterrent to the insects of the island. The flickering light in the otherwise dark room threw wonderful shadows across Lauren's form as she stepped back, waiting for the brunette to make the next move.

Bo sat the glass of ice down next to the bed but picked up a piece and sucked on it briefly before moving towards the blonde and rubbing it against her lips. Lauren's tongue darted out momentarily, wanting to taste the coolness within her mouth again, but the brunette quickly removed it and replaced it with her mouth instead.

The two woman fell into this kiss, Lauren then hissing in pleasure as Bo ran the ice in her hand down the back of her neck, the piercing of the frozen shard contracting the doctor's body into Bo who moaned against the feeling of the woman tight against her. With the ice almost totally melted, Bo returned it to her mouth and could taste the warm saltiness of the blonde's sweat across her tongue before returning their lips quickly together allowing the fantastic sensation of fire and ice to consume them.

Bo began to remove the doctor's shirt and skirt, leaving her standing in front of her in her underwear only. Lauren stepped back and allowed the brunette full vision of her sculpted body as the light of the candles danced across her skin.

"I want to see all of you", Bo growled and she began to remove her own clothing. The two woman in a matter of moments stood in front of each other wholly exposed before Lauren lay back onto the bed in an invitation for the brunette to take her, to have her way with her completely.

Bo sensing what was being asked of her picked up more ice from the glass and went to Lauren's side where she kissed her deeply before pulling away and placing the ice at the base of the woman's neck. The brunette then delicately dragged the shard down the center of Lauren's chest following the melting trail of water briefly with her mouth until she reached the woman's already hard nipples. The freezing water against her areola had the blonde gasping as the sensation ran like a bolt straight to her now burning center. Bo thrilled in the ability to watch her lover's face as she dealt with the intense pleasure and pain of it all.

Moving up to kiss her deeply once more, Bo climbed in between the woman's legs before sitting up with more ice in her hand, dragging lines of water down Lauren's stomach as the blonde tried desperately to mute the desire to buck her hips against the brunette's body. Lauren could feel the focused attention of Bo's freezing tool like a scalpel against her skin, cutting into her core leaving her panting and begging the brunette to give her more.

Bo sat up between the blonde's legs as she brought the ice down towards the heated entry of her core. Looking to the woman lying in front of her, who was now gently lifting her hips in anticipation, the brunette almost became overwhelmed by just how beautiful she was. Not taking her eyes off the doctor's face Bo gently took the remnants of the ice between her fingers and entered her lover, eliciting a strong moan of pleasure and deeply hitched breathing from the woman below her. Inside her Bo could feel the intense swirl of water blended with the blonde's own essence as she began to set a rhythm with her fingers.

Lauren was able to reach up to the brunette's tussled hair, slipping her finger around the base of her neck and bringing her lover down on top of her. Throwing a leg around Bo's waist she allowed the brunette all the leverage she needed to bring her ever closer to the edge. Bo held the woman's eyes, noses nearly touching, only stopping to force their mouths together as she maintained the pace that had the blonde clenching around her fingers. The doctor was glad in that moment that her housemate was out, there was no way to subdue the groans of pleasure that echoed through the dimly lit room. As the blonde reached the precipitous of her desire all Bo could hear was her name, cursed in passion as finally her lover could no longer resist the waves of pleasure that washed over her body.

The two woman collapsed onto each other, their bodies infused together in sweat and lust. Bo stayed on top of Lauren for a moment as they caught their breaths, placing delicate kisses across her still panting lips before rolling over onto her side.

In a post coital confessional Bo whispered, "I was afraid last weekend was going to be a one time only deal". Lauren, breath still heaving heavily turned her head to face her, "funny, I was thinking the same when I didn't hear from you this week".

Bo's eyebrow lifted in surprise, "I didn't hear from you either, but I was hoping that was because phone coverage was so bad".

Lauren turned over on to side, the two woman only a breath apart, "the only number I had for you was the police office phone you called me from to arrange the supply drop, I don't have your cell and when we got back from Nugu you never offered it so.." pausing for moment Bo caught the drift, "so you thought I didn't want you to have it?"

Bo let out a relieved laugh, "I didn't realize you didn't have my number, I guess I just assumed you did. I don't know why".

Lauren leaned in and kissed the brunette softly, lingering on her lips for a moment, "I made a point of telling you I'd be at Mark's party tonight in the hope that you might come, suffice to say I was pretty pleased when I walked in and saw you. Although you had me doubting myself when I saw you look away from me pretty quickly after I arrived and then when I saw you with Dyson, I thought for sure last weekend was a one-off thing".

Bo smiled, "well, I'm going to lay my cards on the table here, I really don't want this just to be a two night thing either and I'd really, really like to give you my number".

Lauren let out a laugh before rolling over and out of the bed causing Bo to sit up anxiously, "hey, where are you going?". Walking naked out of the room Lauren gave the brunette a wink and looked back, "I think we are going to need more ice".


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N - Hi all. Thanks for the really fantastic feedback over the past few chapters, it's been helpful for me much appreciated. I thought I'd do a chapter examining a little more fully (without giving the whole game away) where Lauren is at. I am staying with the dual past/present model for the time being and will do until I get to the point of full exposure of what has happened between Bo/Lauren. I hope you enjoy._

* * *

Lauren always found New York to be a complete sensory experience and often thought that the L train was the embodiment of it all. The smells of decay and piss mixed with the heady perfumes of the citizens of the gentrified Brooklyn borough. Across the creaking carriages Lauren watched the comings and goings of people as they clambered onto the train and allowed herself the silent gift of judgment, wondering what the world might look like through the lenses of their lives.

As the train pulled into Lorimer Street the blonde stood up, pulling her rucksack over her always favored left shoulder. She knew how to travel and had full spatial awareness with that pack on her back, maneuvering crowds and small spaces without the slightest knock to anyone around her. As she made her way out of the station Lauren looked upon its famous tiled mosaics and their words, which she read so many times before, with new eyes; _history – your story._ With Bo back in her life she felt as though her past was engulfing her once more. She didn't want to be defined by their history again. The whole reason she had travelled to New York was to seek counsel from a friend, she wanted to be told that it was right and reasonable to let go of the past, to run away from it if needs be.

As she alighted the station's stairs Lauren allowed the light and air of the street to wash over her. Taking a moment to gain her bearings the blonde then began walking the six familiar blocks to the red masonry condominium where Daniel Wiseman now lived. Since she returned from the Pacific nearly two years ago she made an effort to get down to see him every couple of months. He was really her only friend in the world, as close to family as she now had and she held tightly to their relationship particularly given how close she came to losing it and him.

Buzzing his apartment she smiled broadly as she heard his voice for the first time, "Lo! Get your ass up here". Taking the elevator four floors as she exited she saw Daniel standing in wait for her. She was always taken by how handsome he was, a tall lean man with bright blue eyes. From a distance his face was almost boyish but up close there were the small signs of a life lived on the frontiers; a couple of small scars that sat above the corner of his left eyebrow and another across the peak of his chin.

Dropping her rucksack at the entry of the door Lauren threw her arms around Daniel and enjoyed his strong embrace for a moment before pulling away to look at his face. She brought her hands to his cheeks, squeezing them in play, "My god you're a good looking man"

Daniel smiled, "Ha! Not much use to me when it seems to be only the ladies that think so." The tall man pushed the door open in invitation "come in, I've got a fridge stocked with cheese and enough bottles of red to have us cursing ourselves in morning".

Lauren picked up her pack and entered the light filled apartment. Walking over to the living room she placed her bag by the couch and stood by the window looking out onto the street below. Daniel, already in the kitchen opening a bottle of red, watched the blonde contemplating the world below, "can you believe we ever thought that there was a better view than the rubbish filled streets of Brooklyn?"

Lauren turned around to face Daniel, who was now filling their glasses in the small kitchen and laughed, "Who needs pristine seas and white sands when we've got streets of used condoms and ten day old pizza boxes?"

As she watched her friend slowly make his way towards her with wine glasses in hand she couldn't help but to notice his limp. He often tried to walk a little more carefully in her presence, as any type of speed seemed to accentuate the stagger that he now had and would always have. She blamed herself for what happened to him even though he'd long stopped trying to convince her otherwise.

Handing Lauren a well-filled glass the tall man sat himself on the couch while she continued to stand by the window.

"So, have at it Lo, what's happened that has you rushing south to my side? Not that I don't love having you here mind you. Any excuse for too much red wine and all that but I'm hoping there is some delicious gossip to be shared. I've got my fingers crossed you're pregnant from a three-way gone array." Daniel took a gulp of wine, shutting his eyes briefly as he settled in to enjoy that first sensation of the tannins besieging his tongue.

Lauren rolled her eyes, Daniel certainly loved a bit of drama. For so long her life had been relatively mundane and then Bo. With the brunette came all the lewd gossip and scandal that her friend so enjoyed reveling in. "There is gossip Dan, really good juicy gossip", she paused for a moment considering where the starting point should actually be but her delay only agitated her friend.

"Lauren, you should know better than to tease a gay man with the promise of gossip only to go quiet. Give it up."

Cut to the chase thought Lauren, there's no other way, "Bo was shot and I ended up treating her in Emergency three nights ago."

She could see immediately Daniel was floored, he stared at her for a moment in a daze, placing his glass down before forcing a response, "Bo? Your Bo? Holy shit, is she ok?"

Lauren took her first sip of wine and nodded, "the bullet perforated her kidney, she's had it removed and it looks like she's out of woods but it was a close call, really _really_ close Dan" and with those words the blonde began to crumble. From where he was seated Daniel could see light glistening on the tears that had begun to well in her eyes but before he could move to his feet to offer her his support she had collapsed beside him on the couch, doing enough to settle her glass of red on the coffee table in front of them before leaning into his arms. Lauren was able to maintain enough composure to allow only an occasional sniffle but Daniel could feel the tears falling onto his neck where her head lay.

"This has obviously given you quite the fright, hey kid?" Daniel placed a gentle kiss on the crown of Lauren's head. He knew there was a lot to work through but he also knew that before they got into the dissection of it all that Lauren simply needed a moment to care for Bo, to allow her heart to break just a little. There was no time to revel in drama of this, it was far too serious for that. The two stayed like that in silence for just a few minutes before Lauren sat up reaching again for the glass of red in front of her.

"I saw Tamsin. She said that she and Bo were told I was killed. After the hurricane, they thought I was dead"

Daniel, shook his head in disbelief, this all seemed to fantastical to be real, "whoa, well that explains a couple of things doesn't it?"

The storm that had hit the Solomon's devastated the islands, leaving so many hurt and killed. Bo had left only a matter of weeks before the Hurricane had hit and although they had broken up Lauren had often evidenced the lack of contact she had from her after the storm as proof the woman had never loved her, that she could not have ever cared the way she said did if she didn't even attempted to check on her wellbeing. It was a fact that Daniel had never disputed with her, it had seemed so cold which was unlike Bo, but neither she nor Tamsin had attempted to contact him either. He admitted not long after that he too was hurt by the lack of contact as he had considered them friends.

Still digesting what was being said, Daniel began to understand why Lauren had so quickly jumped on a plane to New York, "have you spoken with Bo yet?"

Lauren shook her head, "no, when I left she was still in ICU, she hadn't really regained consciousness and to be honest I didn't want to be there when she did. I have no idea what to say to her, or whether I should just avoid her completely. Nothing changes right Dan? I mean regardless of whether she thought I was dead or not, we were still over"

Daniel mused over her words for moment, "Yes I guess, but there's over and then there's over Lo. In your mind, prior to the storm, was there any hope of resolution between you both?"

Lauren took a deep breath. She wanted to answer honestly but her mind was clouded. There was so much hurt at the end of it all, "I don't think so. It was so broken and truthfully I don't think I want to dredge any of it up again, I've moved on and obviously assumed she'd moved on too. I guess she had no option but to move on from a dead woman. What do you think I should do?"

Daniel let out a sigh, it was an impossible ask. He'd known Lauren long enough to know that her time with Bo was her happiest, the two had fit in a way that had everyone around them sure their relationship was for the long haul. Even for Daniel himself, he looked at the period after Bo and Lauren got together as some of the best months her had in the Pacific. He struck up great friendships with Bo and Tamsin and with Lauren the four became something of an inseparable quartet. When Bo and Lauren had ended their relationship Daniel's friendships with the two detectives ended too. His loyalty was to Lauren in the same way that Tamsin needed to support Bo.

"I don't know. I really don't, I guess you need to do what's right for you. There is one thing though Lo, you walked into this apartment today and were clearly upset about seeing her almost die in front of you, and that's after three years of hating on her. Imagine what it must have been like for her thinking you died just a few weeks after everything ended. I mean, fuck, that's intense, especially given the last words between you both weren't exactly pleasant right? I mean, you know her well enough to know that she would have been pretty cut up."

Lauren stood and went back to the window, looking out while trying to find the answers in her head. "I don't know what I know Dan, not when it comes to her, not after what happened."

* * *

**Solomon Islands – 3 Years earlier**

The roof was open on Lauren's Jeep, the air flowing in over the four passengers within. Tamsin sat surly in the back with Daniel still laughing next to her, he was enjoying baiting the detective a little too much, "cheer up sweet cheeks, you're still learning to adjust your brain to left hand side of the road."

After a period of constant pestering Lauren had finally agreed to allow Tamsin the opportunity to drive her car. The streets of Honiara were tough to drive at the best of times but for someone who had never driven on the left hand side of the road they were tougher again. The little group were heading out to a sunken World War Two Japanese transport ship just outside of the capital. Lauren had offered to get them outside the worst of the city limits but Tamsin was having none of it. Unfortunately it turned out the taller blonde had been a little over confident and within a couple of minutes had almost hit one car and sent crowds running from a local market in fear as she attempted to a right hand turn. Everyone in the car agreed it would be safer if Lauren took over again.

Tamsin could only take so much of Daniel's taunting, "you can curse my mother, you can throw a shoe at my head but I swear if you ever call me sweet cheeks again I will break you."

Daniel went quiet for a moment before looking at the blonde sullenly, "I'm sorry Tamsin, It's just Mark Duncan said you loved it when he called you that….", Bo, Lauren and Daniel all erupted in laughter while Tamsin nodded her head sarcastically, "yeah, yeah, lap it up hospital boy, yours will come. And! By the way there is a reason we in northern hemisphere call it driving on the _right side_ of the road"

In the front seat a still smiling Bo looked at Lauren who had her eyes fixed on the road. Feeling the glare upon her Lauren turned her head to the left, her heart quickening when she saw the look in the brunette's eyes. It was a look full of what, Lauren wasn't quite sure. Perhaps it was simply lust, desire…love? She couldn't say but she knew it was a look that harboured whatever emotions it was the brunette had for her. Reaching over to her the blonde picked up Bo's hand and brought it to sit on her upper thigh. Satisfied with the contact the brunette returned her eyes to green jungle zipping by on the side of the road.

The two women had been seeing each other for two months and things could not have been going any better. As the weeks progressed and the feelings intensified the demons began to creep into Lauren's mind. Bo had already hit the half way mark of her contract period. In three months she would be gone back to Toronto for good. Lauren on the other hand still had another 15 months of a contract to run. She had not wanted to broach the subject with Bo for fear of what the brunette was thinking. Was this simply a six-month romance for her? Was there even a chance for something else between them and if so how would they make it work? Lauren was reluctant to waste the little time they did have left with each other talking through the logistics of what 'they' were and where 'they' were going.

Arriving at Bonegi Beach after a quick 30 minute drive the group pulled out their snorkelling equipment and walked up the precious white sand about a mile from where they parked and got their snorkelling gear on. Lauren and Daniel had both been unsuccessful in their attempts to convince either Tamsin or Bo to take up diving. They'd agreed a snorkel at this artificial reef might just be enough to change both women's minds.

Walking out five meters into the water Lauren encouraged both detectives to put their heads under and swim out a little further. Both complied and within a few seconds had their faces out of the water yelling at Lauren and Daniel in delight. There is nothing like seeing a wreck for the first time teaming with it's soft corals and explosive ecosystem. The colour and wonder of it all is enough to make you forget to breath.

Feeling more adventurous as the swim went on Bo allowed Lauren to take her further out across the stern of the wreck where she showed her how to adjust her ears to allow for deeper diving and identified some of the colourful fish that swam past them on mass. Bo's enthusiasm for everything made it all seem and feel new to Lauren too. Every experience she had was made better for this woman's company.

There were moments that day while swimming and laying on the beach where Lauren felt a need to keep her emotions in check, to hold back, such was the overwhelming desire to just give herself completely over to whatever it was she feeling. In truth, she barely knew this Bo, they were still learning about each others pasts, their ambitions and even personalities. She had no idea whether the brunette was feeling the same but occasionally she would see that look in her eyes and sensed that she felt what Lauren was feeling too.

As the warm sun began to set the four packed up their towels and snorkelling equipment and began the walk back to the car. Lauren threw Tamsin the keys, "you interested in trying again?" The tall blonde smirked, "hells yeah!"

Bo and Lauren climbed into the back of Jeep allowing Daniel the opportunity to take over Tamsin's driving mentorship. Within seconds of driving away they were bickering like a married couple. Daniel attempting to grab the wheel on a number of occasions and the tall blonde growling at him to stay away. In the back Bo and Lauren couldn't help but to laugh. Throwing an arm around Lauren's shoulder the brunette leaned in and kissed her cheek and ear gently before whispering, "Doctor Lewis?" Lauren, still indulging in the feeling of Bo's breath against her skin, could only whimper out, "hmmmm?"

Peppering Lauren with light kisses Bo continued in a whispered voice that was so close to the blonde's ear that she could feel the words resonating within her, "I think I'm falling in love with you".

The world stopped for the doctor, her face turning to look at the woman sat next to her and all she could see were those eyes staring at her with _that_ look again. She smiled at the brunette, bringing her hand up to cup the cheek of the face staring expectantly at her, "I was really hoping that was what that look meant". Lauren leaned down to Bo's lips and kissed her with such emotion that she knew the woman would be left without any doubt as to her feelings too.

In the front of the car Tamsin and Daniel both caught a glimpse of the happenings in the back seat via the rear-view mirror.

"Stop checking them out in the mirror Tamsin and keep your eyes on the road or you'll get us killed"

"Shut up Daniel"

They both then looked at each other and smiled knowing that something had just changed for both of their friends and even though neither were the type to show it, they couldn't be happier.


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N: Small delay in getting this out which mainly had to do with trying to catch up on sleep, study and friends (aka life). Also, there was a lot I wanted to cover in this chapter so it's ended up a pretty long one but critical for the story (at least in my mind). Interested in what you think! Which of course brings me to say a BIG thank you for all the reviews, follows, faves et al, you guys are awesome for even reading. Thanks for taking the time._

* * *

As the plane set down the bump on landing pulled Lauren from her sleep. She'd spent years tucked into the tight confines of airplanes of every size, travelling short hops across the islands and longer journeys across the globe. The deep whirring of the plane engines almost whispered as a lullaby, always pulling her into a deep sleep that was more often than not only broken by the screeching of wheels burning with the touch of tarmac.

Lauren had a good week with Daniel in New York. She missed spending time with him and their visits were always to brief. The revelation of Bo's return had added spark to their usual discussions over far to many bottles of red but in truth little was resolved in the blonde's own mind. Returning now to Toronto the only thing Lauren did know was that she had to face her past at some point to allow herself some closure.

The whole drive from the airport to home Lauren's mind drifted to how she might face Bo the following day at the hospital. She was of little doubt that Bo would now be well on her way to recovery and that Tamsin would have told her that she was in fact still alive.

Still alive. It was that point more than any she struggled over. She had spent these past three years so certain that the woman she had loved so very much had easily moved on from her. It had taken Lauren much longer to remove the brunette from her mind and if she was honest she had never truly removed her from her heart. That much was reaffirmed when the doctor had seen the brunette rushed into her emergency room that fateful night.

The cab pulled up in front of Lauren's downtown apartment and as she stepped out of the car she felt the cool evening air across her skin. She shivered, pulling tighter her dark brown leather jacket in an attempt to shield herself. This was a slightly upmarket building, filled with career couples and individuals who were more committed to their jobs than any desire to make a place a home. Lauren rarely saw her neighbours and that suited her well.

Lauren lived on the fourth floor which was high enough to gain a small vantage of the surrounding city. As she began the walk from the lift to her front door she sensed someone walking down the hallway behind her. Stopping at her door the blonde pushed the key into the lock and stilled herself before turning her head ever so slightly to catch a glimpse of the person. Immediately a familiar gait, full of swagger, caught her eye and with it a smile crept to the corner of her lips.

"If you're here to raid my liquor cabinet Tamsin I need to tell you it's not as healthy as might be required for someone of your talents", Lauren turned the key in the lock and walked into the apartment keeping the door open behind her for the detective to follow her in.

"I'm usually happy to take what I can get Doc, you should know that"

Tamsin walked into the apartment and was struck by its stark nature. Cold and clean. The doorway led to a large open planned living area with a black granite worktop separating the kitchen. There were however scattered pieces of artwork on the walls, pictures mainly, beautifully framed capturing the faces and communities of the Pacific. Tamsin lingered over the images, smiling at the faces staring back at her, the familiarity of it all rushing back. One particular photograph caught her eye, it was an underwater shot of a school of fish zipping by while a lone diver in the background watches on. Tamsin recalled seeing the image previously. The diver she remembered was Lauren and it was Bo who had taken the photo.

"I remember when this was taken Doc, that was a great couple of days", Tamsin turned to Lauren who was in the kitchen opening a bottle of red. She hadn't bothered to ask the detective if she wanted to indulge, already knowing the answer.

Lauren lifted her eyes from the neck of the bottle and towards the photograph Tamsin was standing in front of, "hmmmmm" was the only response she offered before the pop of the cork had the detective walking towards her. Lauren poured both women a generous helping of wine and sat down at the bench where the detective joined her.

The doctor took a sip of her wine and resisted the urge to immediately ask of Bo's wellbeing, "so, to what do I owe the pleasure of this visit detective?"

Tamsin looked down at the wine glass in her hand turning then liquid with delicate movements of her wrist.

"Lauren do you have a lot of friends?"

The doctor lifted her eyebrows, turning up her lips in faux smile, "you want to know if I have friends Tamsin? That's why you're here?"

Tamsin still watching the red wine turn within the glass in her hand went on, "I've not ever had much need for friends in my life. Growing up I can't remember a time when I wasn't almost always a foot taller than all the other kids. I guess looking back on it I must have been quite an intimidating figure to all the boys towering over them like I did and to the girls I would have looked all legs and arms"

Lauren watched Tamsin intently as she spoke, knowing that the woman was rarely this open about her past, she dared not interrupt as the detective continued.

"I guess learning to play well with others is an education in youth and mine was more a miseducation. So given I never really learnt the craft, even in my late teens and twenties when I was starting to get attention for more positive type reasons, l resisted people. I guess If I was to head shrink myself I'd say I was perhaps carrying a little bit of baggage over from a youth of being bullied and laughed at. I built up a pretty tough exterior and here you have it, this is me, I'm not easy to get close to."

Tamsin paused and took a swig from her wine, looking up then for the first time since she began talking at the doctor's face.

"Tamsin, I'm sorry, I had no idea, but If it's any consolation at all i've always really liked you and could see through that tough girl exterior pretty quickly"

Tamsin was taking another sip of her wine and as she swallowed it down she nodded her head in readiness for the next words that were building in her mind, "and that's it Doc, that's the whole goddamn thing that I don't get!"

Lauren shifted in her seat, Tamsin's tone had suddenly changed and she sensed she was about to get an earful, "what don't you get Tamsin?"

"You Doc, I don't get you. I've spent an entire life struggling to make friends and something about you tells me that you probably never had the worlds largest clique either, so what the fuck gives?"

Lauren was struggling to piece together what the now clearly angry detective was trying to say, "I don't understand what's going on here Tamsin, you need to help me understand what you're trying to say so I can give you an answer to what the fuck gives"

Tamsin looked back down to her wine and Lauren could see the detective was filled with emotion. She'd never seen her like this before and it shocked her now.

Eyes cast downwards, wrists still whirling the wine in her hand, Tamsin took a deep breath and steadied herself before continuing.

"What I'm saying is that for a long time, the longest time, Bo was really my only friend. But then I go Solomon's and I meet a couple of people, you and Dan, and for the first time in my life I have a group of friends, like a real proper friendship group that doesn't need to plan what they're doing on a Friday night because they alway know it's going to be the four of them together. But then we leave and a couple of weeks later you're dead and It's all taken away from me, or at least I thought it was but here you are!"

Lauren leaned over to the detective and placed a hand on her knee, "Tamsin, I'm sorry, I didn't realise.." but Tamsin scoffed at the comment as it left the doctor's mouth.

"That's the point Doc, I thought you, my friend, one of my only friends, had died three years ago. I lost you and thought I'd lost the opportunity to ever say anything to you again. But you, you just spent three years in radio silence with me. If you had reached out to me just once then we could have avoided so much of the pain that we went through but for some reason you didn't. So that's what I want to know Lauren, what the fuck gives? I get that Bo hurt you but did our friendship mean that little to you that you never in all this time thought for one second to reach out to me? My excuse is I thought you were dead, what the hell is your excuse?"

The question sat like a weight on Lauren for a moment. She worked through it in her mind, trying desperately to sort the truthful answer from the excuses that were rushing through her. After a moment of silence the doctor simply shook her head and offered a shrug in defeat.

"I guess after everything that happened with Bo I just assumed you two were on one side of the divide and Dan and I were on the other. Then after the hurricane we never heard from either of you so I guess for me that was evidence that my relationship with Bo was nothing more than a holiday romance and my friendship with you, well I just assumed you didn't care either."

Tamsin held Lauren's eye, shaking her head slightly in disgust, "how could you believe that I was that cold, that Bo was that cold? You knew us Lauren."

It was the answer to the question that Lauren had been searching for with Daniel all week.

"Truthfully Tamsin, it made it easier in some ways to move on from Bo. If you both turned out to be these cold callous individuals then it was easier to push you both out of my life and to try not to care about what I had just lost."

Lauren's eye's had begun to well and Tamsin could hear the broken honesty in her voice. The detective reached down to the doctor's hand on her knee and squeezed it.

For Lauren the emotion of the conversation helped her realise that she owed Bo an audience. As much as she needed some closure from all that had happened in the past she now realised that Bo too deserved an opportunity for the same. She'd go to Bo the next day, it was the right thing to do.

Lauren was about to speak and tell Tamsin of her decision when she noticed the detective's eyes narrow in confusion.

"You said we?"

Lauren was now returning Tamsin's look of confusion, "I said we what?"

"You said 'we never heard from either of you' after the hurricane, who else are you talking about?"

"Dan. Neither Dan or I heard from you or Bo after the hurricane"

The detective simply shook her head in disbelief, eyes welling with tears, "Dan's alive too?"

* * *

xxxx

**Solomon Islands 3 years earlier**

"Don't do it Bo, please don't do it", Lauren was shaking her head in disbelief.

"Lauren, it's a matter of principle, I have to do this", Bo took a deep breath before she brought a large glass of black liquid to her mouth.

"Come on Bo! Do it! Do it!" Daniel brought his hands to his mouth, half wanting to look away as the brunette began to down the contents of the glass.

"That's truly disgusting Bo Bo, you disgust me but I'm so proud", Tamsin clapped as Bo finished the glass of booze, just holding down the contents as her gag reflex attempted to expel the alcohol from her body.

"Oh god, that's revolting!" Bo could barely get the words out without the liquid returning to her lips. She'd taken a bet to down the contents of a mix of red wine, whiskey and beer. The prize was $50. That's fifty Solomon dollars, enough to buy a drink in a Canadian bar.

"You better not even attempt to kiss me with that mouth tonight, honestly, how old are you!" Lauren couldn't help but smile as she looked at the clearly struggling Bo.

"I can't actually believe you did that Bo, we're going diving first thing tomorrow and you're drinking for money, honestly, you're an idiot of the highest proportions!", Daniel feigned his disgust but Bo was still aggrieved.

"What? You're the one that said it would be a blight on the Commonwealth of Canada if I didn't have the courage to drink it!"

"I've never been prouder to be Canadian Bo, never", Tamsin mocked her friend with the wiping of a fake tear of pride from her eye before handing over the brunette's winnings, "you've earned this Bo".

Daniel and Tamsin almost fell out of their chairs laughing. This was a typical Friday night for this little foursome. Laughing. Always laughing. At themselves and with each other.

"Alright you two trouble makers, I'm taking my girlfriend home before either one of you get her into more mischief. We've all got an early start tomorrow and I'm not looking forward to being out on a boat hungover", Lauren stood up putting her hand out to the increasingly green faced Bo sitting next to her.

Daniel and Tamsin looked at each other and nodded in silent agreement, "I think we're going to stick around for one more Lo and then follow you two back to the house, I can't imagine we'll get any sleep anyway while you two have your cuddles." Dan was much more polite than Tamsin would have been. She swore once she'd heard them having sex from the other side of Honiara.

Given the early start the four had the following morning Tamsin had agreed to crash the night at Lauren and Dan's. Bo was there most nights now anyway when Lauren was not travelling.

"I expect the couch to be ready for my arrival when I get there, I like two pillows and a light cotton blanket in the evenings", Tamsin gave Lauren a smirk and the doctor simply rolled her eyes, "of course Tamsin, I'll make sure to have my best Egyptian sheets laid out for you too".

Lauren and Bo slowly made their way to the exit of the Dancing Cocktail but before they hit the door Dyson walked in. Tamsin watched from her seat as the three conversed politely before the two women made for the exit. Dyson looked over to where Tamsin was sitting an threw her a wave and smile before making his way over.

Dan too had watched the exchange take place, "what do you think my percentage chances are with Dyson?" he asked half in jest but would not deny that he found the scruffy Canadian detective very handsome.

"Honestly, zero. I wouldn't waste your time on an ass like him anyway, you're too good for him", Tamsin finished her sentence right as Dyson arrived.

"Slamsin, how goes it?", Dyson stood over the two seated occupants of the table smiling.

"All good D-man, yourself? Oh, and you remember Dan right? Lauren's housemate." Tamsin nudged her head in the direction of the clearly puppy eyed Dan.

"Yeah, hey man, how are you?", Dyson held out his hand to be shook and Dan quickly grabbed it shaking it firmly, "Good thanks, yeah, nice to meet you properly. Sit down, join us for a drink."

Dyson didn't hesitate in joining the pair and over the next hour they discussed everything from life of the islands to the political situation across the Pacific. It had all felt like small talk leading to the conversation Dyson actually wanted to have.

"So, Tamsin..." Dyson began cautiously.

"So D-Man", Tamsin mimicked in response.

"We leave in about six weeks, what's going to happen between your two girls when Bo heads back to Toronto?", Dyson tried not to make eye contact with either Tamsin or Dan, instead he eyed the contents of his almost finished pint of beer.

Tamsin knew immediately that she ought not give Dyson too much information. Bo had told her that she was planning to tell Lauren she wanted them to find a way for them to stay together, even if it meant a few months apart in the short term.

"I don't know Dyson, I guess we'll all just have to wait with bated breath", Tamsin smirked and finished the content of her tumbler.

Dyson then leaned slightly across the table holding the eye of the man opposite him, "What do you think Dan, is Lauren going to leave the Pacific and head back to Canada to be with Bo?"

Dan had no idea of Bo's past with Dyson and with the warm haze of alcohol pouring through his system he was less able to pick up on the subtle signs of jealousy pouring from the scruffy detective opposite him.

"Who knows? I think it's fair to say that the two of them are most definitely in love, that conquers all right? Even a big ass pond of water that might be separating them, but I've seen Lauren go through this before", Dan was casual in his words, not realising the impact they had on the two detectives at the table. Tamsin was the first to speak up.

"What the hell does that mean, you've seen Lauren go through this before?" she asked gruffly.

Dan's eyes darted up, still half wondering what he'd said to elicit such a quick response from the blonde,

"Huh? Oh. A few years back, right after Lauren arrived in PNG she met a documentary film maker and photographer who she had a bit of fling with for a few months. The two were pretty smitten on each other and when Nadia had to leave to go back to Canada she asked Lauren to go with her. Lo had just got to the Pacific so she said no. They fought for a couple of weeks prior to Nadia leaving, it was fucking awful actually, in the the end Lauren took an assignment out in the country so she wouldn't be there when Nadia left, it was all just to hard to face. Nadia was furious. But I think If Lauren had been in Port Moresby on the day Nadia left she wouldn't have been able to resist the urge to leave with her and would have blamed her for it for the rest of their lives".

Tamsin looked at Dyson and saw a smile on his face. The smug bastard was hoping Lauren would do the same to Bo, "hey D-Man there's not fucking chance in hell that Lauren is going to run away on Bo."

Dan heard the tension in Tamsin's voice and finally in his slightly inebriated state he understood the context of Dyson's enquiry. He immediately knew he needed to make right the potential misconception of what he had just said.

"Hey, Dyson." he snapped his fingers at the detective to get his attention, bringing the man's face back around to his, "What Lauren and Bo have going on is completely different and I have no doubt in my mind that if Bo asked Lauren to go back to Toronto that she'd do it without a second thought. She's been doing this gig for years now, it's almost time for her to go home for a little bit and there's no better reason than Bo for her to do it."

Dyson nodded and finished his beer in a final skull before lifting himself from his seat, "It's been enlightening folks, see you next time" and with that he walked away leaving Daniel behind feeling as though he'd said something terrible.

"What the hell was that all about?" Dan looked quizzically at Tamsin.

"Don't worry about it, there's a history there but we'll need another drink to get into it and if I have another drink I'll never get on that boat tomorrow."

* * *

xxxx

Bo barely opened her eyes as she heard the squealing of the alarm next to her. She threw her hand over to the clock hitting the snooze button and only just registering the time as 5am.

With a deep voice of the morning she complained, "who's idea was it to go the Dancing Cocktail last night after work?"

Bo turned her head to the blonde snuggled into the crook of her neck, enjoying the light kisses that were now being pressed upon her skin as her lover woke in her arms, "I believe that was you baby."

Lauren lifted her head, her eyes still heavy with sleep, "and I believe it was you who ordered that round of shots, and I believe it was you who took that silly bet", the blonde leaned down placing a soft kiss on the brunette's lips.

"It was a matter of national pride Lauren, you wouldn't want me disgracing our nation would you?", Bo, eyes now open looking at the woman leaning over her, still felt overwhelmed with a sense of fortune every morning she woke up next to this beautiful, intelligent and funny woman.

Lauren simply leaned down and kissed Bo again on the lips before climbing over her companion and heading to the bathroom to shower. Before leaving the room Lauren yelled back, "there's a little gift for you under the bed, something to help you remember today". The blonde didn't stay in the room to see the wide smile on the brunette's face.

Bo reached down under the bed and there was a perfectly wrapped box about the half the size of a shoe box. Opening the packing delicately the brunette's mind flooded with what the gift might be. As the last piece of wrapping was pulled away Bo saw the word Nikon, "a camera?"

On further exploration of the writing she realised it was a digital underwater camera. Today was to be Bo's first non-practice dive without an instructor. More importantly it was to be her first dive with Lauren. She already knew that she'd never forget it, but now, with this gift she'd be able to have an eternal record of it to. The brunette lay back on the bed with and opened the box, smile still plastered to her face, 'god, I love her'.

* * *

xxxx

The four friends climbed into Lauren's car, the early morning sun only just starting to rise. There wasn't much talk initially as all tried to wake up to the early start.

Ever since the two doctors had convinced the two detectives to get their diving licence this trip had been in the planning. Lauren and Dan however had kept Bo and Tamsin in the dark about what they had in store for them. The two doctors wanted this dive trip to be special, an adventure for the four to have before the two detectives left for Canada in a little over a month.

"I'm not looking forward to getting into that canoe again Lauren, how far out is this dive spot you want to take us to?", Tamsin still feared a return of the Nugu seasickness. .

Next to her Dan laughed, "as if I'd ever let you slum it Tam Tam".

Bo turned around to face the two in the back, unsure of what to make of Dan's words, "well I for one don't care, I just can't wait to go diving with you and Lauren."

It was the that Bo noticed the car drive past Honiara harbour, "ummm Lo, can't we get a park down near the jetty?"

Lauren squeezed Bo's leg, "we're not going to the harbour". Tamsin's ear perked up, "where the heck are we going Doc?"

Dan looked to Lauren's eyes in the mirror and she gave him a nod before he explained, "we're taking you two the best dive spot in the world, but we need to get a short flight to get there."

Bo shot her head around to face Dan and then to Lauren and then to Tamsin, "where? Where are we going?"

Lauren could barely contain her own excitement now, "Gizo, Western Provinces, it's going to blow your mind".

* * *

xxxx

All four intrepid travellers were now beside themselves with anticipation. The one hour flight to Gizo was flawless, on this clear morning it showcased the turquoise waters of the Solomon's in all it's glory.

When the plane landed a car ushered the four to their resort where they check-in before being taken away by boat to their first dive site. They spent the early part of the day diving Tao Maru, the spectacularJapanese destroyer which was wrecked during the Second World War. Bo and Lauren stayed together at all times, the brunette making full use of her new camera.

They were then taken to a drift dive where they witnessed enormous schools of fish wash past them in the gin clear waters. The sun's rays filtered down striking like spears of light throughout the water. Neither Tamsin or Bo had ever seen or experienced anything like it. The tight sea grip around their bodies, the sound of their own breathing deep in their ear echoing against the noises of ocean they could not comprehend the source of.

When the day was done, their private boat took them back towards the resort and the sun dried their salt kissed skin. After showering and cleaning up the four met at the beachside resort bar and toasted an amazing day.

"I don't know how I can ever thank you both for today, i'll never forget it as long as I live", Tamsin's sincerity almost made Dan blush, "I guess the first round tonight is on you then detective" he smirked to hide his own embarrassment.

The four drank and toasted their time in the Solomon's throughout the evening. As the moon rose high in the night sky the four said their goodnights, they were exhausted from the day's early start and arduous activities.

Lauren and Bo had a small bungalow set over the water. It was basic, like most things in the Solomon's, with a double bed incased in a mosquito net and a small bathroom in the corner of the room. The brunette lit a small candle next to the bed and walked over to her partner. Running her hand down the side of Lauren's cheek the Bo was unsure of what she wanted to say but after placing a gentle kiss on the blonde's lips the words started to come.

"Lauren, I love you. I know we haven't really spoken about what happens with us after I leave and I could play coy and see how this all pans out but I don't want to. I want to be with you, so badly, I can barely think straight"

The blonde smiled as she pulled Bo in for a warm kiss, running her hands up the back of her neck and nestling her fingers within the brunette's luscious hair. Pulling away gently, her eyes closed for a moment as she enjoyed the taste on her lips before speaking, Lauren almost whispered "I want that too, but I'm not sure I'll be able to get out of my contract, I've still a year to run when you leave. What If I have to stay here and can't get to Toronto for months?"

Bo rested their foreheads together, a wide smile across her face, "but you want to be with me after this? You'd come back to Toronto?"

Lauren pulled the brunette in for a deeply indulged kiss, "I'd do anything for you Bo".

And with those words the brunette felt compelled to have her lover, to be as close to her physically as she felt in her heart at that moment. Bo pulled in the blonde tightly against her body, running her hands down to the base of her lover's back driving her hips against the mirrored pelvis. Their kisses filled with an urgency that could not be satisfied while they were both fully clothed.

Bo drove up Lauren's tight white t-shirt, exposing a silken skin that had her panting on mere sight.

"Fuck Lauren", the brunette could barely contain her desire, pulling the blonde in again as her mouth marked the territory between Lauren's ear and breast with a cavalcade of wet kisses.

Lauren had the brunette's shirt off quickly and almost groaned in relief as she felt their breasts pressed together as Bo rushed her tongue once more into her lover's eager mouth. The blonde felt compelled to run her fingernails sharply down the brunette's back, wanting so much for Bo to feel everything, the physical and emotional of her need for her.

The women fell beneath the protection of the mosquito net and onto the soft bed it inclosed. Bo pulling off the last remnants of Lauren's clothing leaving her lying before her on the bed naked. Bo lay her eyes across the finely sculpted woman before her for just a moment and Lauren could see the deep breaths as her lover took her in.

It was Lauren that broke the intently focused gaze of the brunette above her, "Bo, I need you", the brunette lifted her eyes to the pleading face of the blonde, "how do you need me Lauren, tell me, what do you want me to do to you?"

The brunette crawled up the bed and lay on top of the blonde, forcing her legs open with her own before kissing her, their tongues duelling in a passionate display of wonton lust. Lauren grabbed Bo with her fingers tangled and deeply rooted into her lovers hair, lifting her lips to brunette's ear as she begged her, "I want to feel you everywhere".

Bo responded quickly, biting her lover's lip as she moved her own body between the blonde's legs, stopping briefly to circle soft breasts with her own soft lips, feeling the fast beating heart of her lover resonating against her tongue.

Lauren's breathing hitched abruptly as the brunette finally landed her mouth upon the cusp of her centre which was now burning with a molten desire that gave away just how ready she was to be had. The second Bo saw the extent of her lover's desire she broke, quickly pressing her mouth down upon her, gorging on her essence as Lauren could barely contain the moans of approval.

That was where Bo stayed, deep inside her lover with tongue and fingers, pressing the blonde to the edge while she herself could feel the omnipresence of her own climax. Everything in sync and this seemed always the way between these two.

When Bo felt the walls of her lover begin to breakdown and her name called in a plea to be taken over the edge she drove herself faster and deeper against the blonde's wet heat until finally she felt and taste the release all about her. Lauren pulled the brunette quickly up towards her, fingers desperately searching for the for the point of Bo's own liberation which she found quickly.

As they lay next next to each other Bo looked to the blonde and felt an overwhelming sense of sublimity. All was right with the world. Her's was a life with foundation's built on abandonment, on being shifted from home to home. Here lying in the arms of this woman she felt like she'd found where home would now always be.


	6. Chapter 6

_Ok, so these next couple of chapters are going to get to the bottom of what happened to break our girls up, so it's fair to say they won't be the most uplifting BUT all with a purpose of course. You got to break it down before you build it up. _

_Thanks so much for taking the time to read this, it's so appreciated, it really is. Hopefully you'll continue on with me!_

* * *

Bo walked gingerly from her hospital bed to the small bathroom that sat in the corner of her room. Turning on the light she saw for the first time the full effect of the bullet, of the operation and of news of Lauren's return. The brunette took a moment to look at her reflected image in the mirror that sat over the sink and could barely recognise the woman staring back. Her face was pale and gaunt offsetting her glazed eyes which where now encircled by darkness. Running the cold water from the faucet she slipped her hands into the flow and allowed a chill to settle in the tips of her fingers before cupping her hands and splashing her face. When she returned her eyes to the reflection it was the same woman staring back, this face could not simply be washed away. She exhaled deeply watching her own chest rise and fall as an anxiety rose in her and tears began to fall, in front of her she watched as the reflected image began to fall apart.

It had become something of a numbers game in Bo's mind. It had been ten days since she was admitted. Ten days since she last saw Lauren. It was eight days since she'd been told Lauren was still alive. Eight days of waiting, of badgering and pestering, even begging for someone to bring the blonde back to her. Nobody could possibly understand what it's like thinking the woman you loved was dead for more than three years only to find out she is alive. Bo had worked it out, that day to this amounted to 1,142 days of loss and grief and regret. Now she was being told to be patient, they would find her, Lauren would have to come back to the hospital eventually. _Be patient, give her time._ They had said the exact same things when she and Lauren broke up and then she was gone. Gone for good, or so she thought anyway.

Bo was desperate to get out of the hospital and track the woman down for herself. Tamsin had found Lauren's address and told Bo that she visited her apartment twice daily to check if she was home but to no avail. Worse still when Tamsin spoke with Lauren's neighbours none of them had any idea of where she was or when she was last home. Bo's mind had slipped to all the plausible and all the completely implausible reasons for the woman's apparent disappearance again. Perhaps she was in a relationship and spent most of her time at her lover's home? Perhaps she was back in the Pacific? Maybe she had run away from Toronto when she had seen her? What if she was kidnapped or hurt or worse? It was the not knowing now that was driving Bo to despair. In the morning she was to be discharged and she would take control of this situation herself.

The brunette took a moment to compose herself in the bathroom, washing her face again before slowly making her way back over to her hospital bed. It was late, she was tired and she knew the sooner she got herself to sleep the sooner she could be discharged. Laying back into her pillow she cast her eyes to ceiling staring at its nothingness and searching for thoughts that would not elicit the emotional responses that made it so difficult to sleep. It was an impossible task, all she could think of was Lauren and what she would say to her when she finally got her opportunity. The blonde had never given her a chance to explain how things became so unravelled so quickly. There was so much to say but there were no words she knew that could express any of what she felt. In the end Bo let her eyes grow heavy with the knowledge she was simply grateful that she may have a chance to say anything at all to the woman she had long thought lost completely.

* * *

xxxx

Lauren had returned to the hospital knowing that Tamsin had not told Bo that she had returned from her week in New York. The blonde detective had left it to Lauren to decide how best to approach her former lover but when she arrived for her shift she saw on Bo's file that she was to be discharged in the morning. If she wanted this conversation to happen at the hospital then she needed it to happen today.

Lauren began her long twelve hour shift intent on finding an opportunity during the day to visit Bo. Throughout the shift however she found reasons to avoid doing so, it had been a busy afternoon and evening, two car accidents had taken precedent and if she was honest she was happy for the distraction. In those intense emergency situations where lives are on the line Lauren could always find that place in her mind that was completely clear of all thoughts but the job in front of her. By the time her twelve hours were done however Lauren's heart was palpitating in anticipation for what needed to happen next.

The blonde made her way to the staff locker room and began to slowly dress out of her scrubs. Opening her own locker she pulled out her dark denim jeans, a white t-shrit and sloppy grey sweater. For a moment she panicked that her attire was less than impressive and she considered putting her scrubs back on to defend herself from any judgement on her appearance. She cursed herself for caring at all what Bo thought before pulling on her clothes quickly and walking out to the wards.

Bo had been moved to a private room on the fifth floor of the hospital. Lauren walked the unfamiliar ward passing nurses and doctor's many of whom she'd never met or seen before. She had been almost a full two years at the hospital and had built an outstanding reputation as an emergency doctor in that time. The skills she's learnt from working in the field were serving her well now. Improvisation, an ability to trust her gut and a delicate care and way with patients were all qualities noticed by her colleagues and peers.

"Excuse me, you're Doctor Lewis right?"

Lauren turned around to face the large set middle-aged nurse she'd just walked by. She had seen this woman before and searched the back of her mind for her name, "yes, that's right, Nurse Parker, is that correct?"

The woman smiled warmly, clearly impressed that the doctor who had no reason to know who she was had remembered her from their brief previous interactions, "that's right Dr Lewis, I'm the head nurse on ward this evening. I wanted to talk to you about one of our patients who's been asking for you"

Lauren immediately knew who the patient was going to be, "Oh yes, who's that?"

"Bo Dennis, she's the detective that came in with a gunshot wound about a week ago, I believe you treated her in the ER. She says that you know her"

The doctor nodded slightly and gave the nurse a weak smile, "in a previous life, we worked together very briefly overseas, how is she?"

The nurse stepped in closer to Lauren intent on telling her something that she didn't want others to hear, "to be honest Dr Lewis physically she doing very well, but I've got to tell you we'll all be glad to have her off the floor, she's been a right pain in our collective asses"

The blonde gave a light laugh, "Oh dear, I'm sorry to hear that, I can't imagine to many police officers would make good patients though"

Nurse Parker moved in closer again, her words a low whisper, "actually Doctor Lewis it's you she's been harassing us over, '_is she back in the ER?', 'can I have her phone number'?', 'where does she live?', 'can you call her for me?'_ I tell you it has been non stop! Between you and me I think she might have something of an infatuation with you because you saved her life"

Lauren smiled, "thank you Nurse Parker, that can be common, I was actually just going to drop in and see her now before heading home. I believe she's to be discharged in the the morning, hopefully that will be the end of the trouble she's been causing you. Which room is hers?"

The nurse stepped back pointing to the room almost directly opposite to where they were standing, the close proximity of which helped Lauren realise why the whispers were necessary. The nurse watched as Lauren took a deep breath and walked towards the room, stopping momentarily before pushing open the door that was only partly ajar.

* * *

xxxx

Lauren quietly entered the room looking over to the bed quickly where she saw Bo asleep and was relieved at the momentary reprieve it gave her. She walked over to the bed not taking her eyes from the brunette's face and when she arrived at her bedside she sat herself down gently next to her. Bo still didn't stir and so Lauren took a moment just to look upon her, re-examining the features she once knew so well. Almost without realising the blonde had her hand to the brunette's face running the back of it gently down her cheek, indulging in the feel of the her soft skin. Realizing what she was doing the doctor pulled her hand away quickly glad that Bo had not woken to her touch. This woman, Lauren realized, was an addiction, if she allowed herself to indulge in her for even a moment then she risked being washed away by the desire she had oppressed so well for the last three years.

Lauren stood up from the bed before whispering for only herself to hear, "I can't do this" as she began to walk hurriedly for the door.

"Lauren?" Bo called out as she stirred in the bed.

The brunette's voice alone was enough to stop the doctor dead in her tracks but she dared not turn around.

"Lauren, please don't go, please"

The doctor shut her eyes tightly for a moment. Hearing Bo call out those words brought so many memories rushing back to her. There had been two other times when the brunette had used those exact words and on both occasions Lauren walked away. Tonight she knew she had to stay.

Slowly turning around the blonde finally found herself facing Bo. Both woman had wondered what this moment would be like and now here it was and neither knew what to do with it.

Bo pulled herself up in the bed, her face contorting in pain as she did. Lauren, always in doctor mode, moved towards the bed to provide assistance.

"Careful Bo, don't try to overdo it", and she began to adjust the pillows behind the detective's head. As she did Bo reached out and gently took one of Lauren's hands.

"I can't believe it's really you", Bo's voice was heavy with emotion.

Lauren stopped what she was doing and looked down at the woman below her.

"Bo, I didn't know, I had no idea you thought I was dead, truly, no idea"

Bo nodded her head, not removing her eyes from Lauren, "I know, I know, but what happened? They said you were on that boat that sank during the storm?"

Lauren took a breath before sitting down on the bed beside the brunette.

"Tamsin told me that's what you'd been told, I saw her last night. I didn't get on the boat to return to Honiara, neither did Dan, he's alive too."

A look of shock crossed the brunette's face and Lauren needed to remind herself that she was waking the dead for Bo.

"My god, Dan, where is he, _how_ is he?"

Lauren smiled lightly, thinking of her week in New York but her mind quickly crept to that that night in the Solomon's, the night of the storm, "he's ok, he was…" As she began to speak the words of explanation the doctor felt herself losing control, she didn't know what to say about how Dan truly was or what had happened to them when the hurricane hit.

Bo could see that Lauren was struggling suddenly and as much as she wanted to push she nodded her head and held tighter still to the blonde's hand, "it's ok Lauren, you don't need to tell me anything now. I'm just happy you are both safe and alive".

The tighter grip on her hand brought Lauren back to attention, she stood up removing herself from the brunette's touch.

"Look Bo, I can't imagine what you went through thinking I was dead. I know if I had been in the same situation with someone I cared about it would have been really hard, but it's over now. I'm sorry I didn't reach out to let you or Tamsin and let you know that we were ok, I really should have"

Bo began to shift herself out of the bed, desperate to close the gap between the two women that now existed. As she stood up she watched the doctor take a step backwards, she quickly reached out her hand, her fingers tugging Lauren back towards her as she latched on to the edge of the grey sweater.

"Lauren you need to know, had I known you were still alive I would never have let things end like that between us, I would have been back to Honiara and that's where I would have stayed until you forgave me, until you took me back"

Lauren, tears now in her eyes, shook her head but said nothing allowing Bo to continue with what she needed to say.

"I should never have got on that plane in the first place, I should have stayed and waited for you to come back. I've spent the past three years regretting letting you get away from me and blaming myself for your death, but now, now I have a chance to make it all up to you"

Lauren simply continued to shake her head. She had spent so many years angry, it was impossible to let herself be anything else when it came to her former lover.

"Bo, my being alive doesn't change anything, being here now doesn't change a thing. At the end of the day you still broke my heart, _you broke us_, everything good about us was lost years ago. If you had stayed in Honiara you need to know that I would never have taken you back. Never."

The words came out harder than what Lauren had expected and there were half-truths dripping from every syllable but she was feeling overwhelmed by this conversation, it was impossible for her to think straight or say what she really meant.

Disengaging herself from the brunette again Lauren stepped back but this time held Bo's eye to show her intention.

"Look, I came here tonight to give you some closure on us, I thought you deserved that much. Maybe I even thought I deserved that much, but right now, I don't know what to say Bo. I don't want to hurt you but I desperately want to be able to let us go, that's what this is about for me. I think you need to let us go too."

Bo brought her hands to her head in frustration and held them there before pleading with the blonde.

"What! Lauren no! We have things to work out. I need to see you, to work through how things ended between us. I'm not letting you leave my life again, I've got a second chance and I'm taking it."

Lauren stared for a moment at the Bo, whose pleading eyes had her heart just about breaking, "I can't, I'm sorry Bo I really am but there's no second chance for us. Not now. Not ever."

The blonde turned and walked out of the room rushing away before the brunette saw her tears betraying the words she had just spoken. In the room behind her Bo simply stood frozen to the spot where the blonde has left her allowing the heavy thrust of sobs to overwhelm her body.

* * *

xxxx

**Solomon Islands Three Years Earlier**

"Babe, come here, please don't be cranky with me", Lauren threw her arm over Bo who was lying down with her back to the blonde. When the brunette said nothing Lauren began kissing her naked shoulders and gently pulled back her lover's thick brown hair from her neck as she kissed it. She could feel Bo responding to her soft lips and smiled a sweet smile of victory as she knew she just about had her broken.

Bo was trying to be resolute but was practically moaning now with each touch, "Lauren, this isn't fair, you can't just kiss you're way out of this."

The doctor was now easily able to pull her lover over onto her back as she began moving her kisses to the side of her neck as she worked her way up to the brunette's ear. Smirking between kisses she whispered, "that's not what you said last night". Bo growled in frustration but she knew the doctor was right.

In fact the detective had spent that past two days in a moody stupor ever since Lauren told her she was needed in the Western Provinces for the next two weeks. Those two weeks just happened to be Bo's last two weeks in the Solomon's. But every time she tried to give the doctor the silent treatment Lauren would simply respond with kisses and touching and licking leaving the detective at her mercy. She found the doctor irresistible and it was a fact that, once the kissing and touching and licking was done with, irritated the brunette even more.

Trying to hold her concentration as Lauren continued kissing her way down her body, Bo continued to press her case, "I don't understand why you can't just go for a few days, why does this new doctor in Toro need you there for a full two weeks?"

Lauren, now positioned on top of the brunette lifted her mouth only briefly from the chest she was now marking as her own, "It's the proper induction period, the guy wants to be home for Christmas with his family so if we don't do it now then we'll need to wait months to get it done and Toro desperately needs someone for the new year".

What Lauren was not telling Bo was that the next two weeks of inducting a new doctor would allow her to return to Canada early in the new year, in time for Bo's birthday in mid-January. It was a chance to move back to Toronto permanently without leaving the Islands short of medical support. She and Tamsin had it all planned as a surprise but it was becoming increasingly difficult not to give the game away as the detective became gradually more upset about the doctor's departure during her final weeks.

Bo, still being slightly petulant asked "just promise me you'll be back in time for our leaving party"

Lauren stopped what she was doing and pulled herself up so that she was face to face with her lover, "Bo I love you, of course I promise, I'd not let you leave without seeing you again. Plus, I'll need to get laid, who knows how long I'll have to wait before I next see you"

Lauren kissed the brunette deeply and then returned to her work at hand, continuing her journey down her lover's body as Bo finally gave in to her, running her fingers into the blonde's hair and encouraging her with pleasure filled moans.  
It would be a morning both of them would look back on in the three years to come, remembering it as the last time they'd ever made love.

* * *

xxxx

Lauren, showered and dressed, looked to Bo who was still lying naked in her bed.

"Are you not even going to get up and say goodbye?" the blonde smiled at the pout she was receiving from her lover in the bed.

"How are you getting to the airport?" Bo asked.

Lauren packed the last remnants of her belongings into her handbag before sitting down on the bed next to Bo, "Tamsin wants to borrow the Jeep while I'm away so she's going to drop me off, are you sure you don't want to come for the drive?"

Bo shook her head before grabbing hold of the blonde, "no, I'll be lousy company for you both. Lauren please don't go, please".

Lauren smiled a sad smile, she so wished she could tell Bo the real reason she was doing this but knew it would be worth it in the end. Leaning down she kissed brunette gently before getting up, "I'll miss you and I'll see you at the Dancing Cocktail for margaritas in thirteen days, ok?"

Bo pouted, "You better, first round is on you"

Lauren leant back down smiling before kissing the brunette one last time, "deal" she whispered and with that the blonde stood up and walked out of the house.

Bo stayed laid in her bed for the next hour or so until she heard Tamsin return. She then got up and pulled some clothes on before walking out into her kitchen where Tamsin and Dyson were both sat at the table.

Tamsin saw her friend's face and gave her a smirk, "Oh Bo Bo, why so glum? You'll see her again soon".

Dyson let out a laugh, "What's going on? Has Lauren finally been made aware of atrocious cooking skills and headed for the hills?"

Bo shot the shaggy haired detective a look of disdain, "Ah, no Dyson. She's had to leave for Toro for two weeks which means that I won't see her until right before we leave"

Dyson lifted his eyebrow, "she's left right before you need to leave, wow, that sounds like a familiar M.O from the Doc". Tamsin responded to the statement with a kick to his shins under the table, "Owwch, what the hell was that for?"

Bo looked to both detectives confused, "What the hell are you talking about Dyson?"

Tamsin interjected before he could respond, "nothing Bo, the hairy bastard has no idea what he's talking about.

Bo shifted her look to Dyson who gave her a knowing smile. She'd need to get to the bottom of this with him when Tamsin wasn't around but for now, she'd go back to her room and lay in bed again allowing herself to take in the smells of doctor on her bed sheets.


	7. Chapter 7

Lauren lay in bed listening to the banging on the front door of her apartment. It was 3am. She was not alarmed, she knew exactly who was trying to get her attention. There was no point in calling the police, it was a decorated officer trying to break down her door.

In the week since she had her chat with Bo at the hospital she had been inundated with phone calls and messages from the brunette. Clearly Tamsin had passed on her cell number and now, by all appearances, she had passed on her address too. To date she had resisted the temptation to answer or return the calls and as she lay in bed listening to the racket at her door she knew it would be foolhardy to have any conversation with Bo now. Still, she had never thought of the detective as the middle of the night, banging your door down, type of girl.

After twenty consistent minutes of knocking, for the sanity of her neighbors more than anything else, Lauren pulled herself out of bed and made her way to the front door. She took a deep breath as she held the handle, readying herself to pull it open and give the detective a piece of her mind. In her head she counted down from ten, hoping that the knocking might stop and the situation might miraculously resolve itself without her intervention. By the time the countdown hit the 3,2,1 stage she knew she was going to have to get involved.

In a hard fast pull Lauren swung open the door, revealing herself wrapped in a warm grey dressing gown and wearing a matching dark look of utter disdain. Her voice was fierce but muted slightly to avoid giving the neighbours even more to talk about, "Are you out of your mind!"

Lauren's heart jumped as the face she was expecting was not stood in front of her. Instead, with a fist mid-air in readiness for the continued knocking barrage was a petite dark-haired looking goth with black eye make-up and lipstick smudged across her face. Despite her disheveled appearance Lauren immediately recognized the woman as Bo's sister Kenzi.

"Kenzi? What are you doing here?", Lauren knew the conversation was not going to be for the hallway and based on the smell of alcohol now streaming off the woman, it was unlikely to be a rationale one either. Grabbing her by the arm Lauren led Kenzi out of the doorway and shut the door behind her before continuing with her questioning.

"Do you know what time it is? I should call the police! That's _if _my neighbors haven't done that already"

Kenzi walked straight over to Lauren's couch and plonked herself down quite unceremoniously. Looking up at the blonde, who now had one hand across her forehead in disbelief, she was able to slur out her opening line, "I have a bone to pick with you doc". For added effect Kenzi pointed her finger at the doctor, holding it there before shaking it in a motion more akin to a school mistress scolding a child.

"You're causing my girl all types of grief and I just can't have that see. She's my BoBo and a sister's gotta have her girl's back which means I'm here to let you have it!"

Lauren lowered her hand from her head, an anger starting to rise in her, "wow, really? You're going to let me have it Kenzi? You're going to tell me all the reasons why Bo's the victim and I'm the bitch in this situation?"

Kenzi gave a sarcastic shrug of the shoulders, "If the shoe fits Doc"

Lauren walked over to the couch and was now standing over the little woman, this was her home, this was the middle of the night, she didn't have to stand for any of this, "I realize that living with the belief that I was dead must have been hard for her, but that's not my fault, I didn't exactly fake my death to get away from her! We were over before she left Honiara or did she fail to mention that to you?"

In a movement that surprised the doctor Kenzi was quickly to her feet standing directly in front of her. Lauren agitated backwards slightly unsure of what the woman's intention was. While the suddenness of the movement may have seemed aggressive her voice was now soft and low.

"I know Lauren, I know what she did to you but I'm perhaps the only person in the world that understands _why _she did it"

The whys and hows of their end had always plagued Lauren but she'd long given up trying to make sense of any of it. In her mind there would never be an answer to the 'why' of it all that she could imagine helping her better understand any of it. Now, with a body still heavy with tiredness and in desperate need of sleep she was stood in front of a small drunk woman who claimed to have the answer at her disposal. It was a scenario to bizarre to have ever thought possible.

"Kenzi, it's late, you've been drinking and I imagine you're here without Bo's knowledge. You're certainly here without my invitation. I think it best if we have this conversation at another less inopportune time"

Kenzi was shaking her head before Lauren had even finished her sentence. Instead she stumbled her way towards the kitchen and opened the fridge.

Mumbling away neck deep into the refrigerator she continued "I don't think so Doc. I actually need to be drunk to talk about this stuff with someone I've never met before".

Lauren watched in shock as the woman began scavenging through her food stuffs. "Ah! Success!" Kenzi removed herself with a bottle of white wine held above her head triumphantly. Lauren made her way over to the kitchen and grabbed the bottle from her hands.

"Hey! Give that back hotpants, finders keepers!"

Lauren simply shook her head and rummaged through a drawer before pulling out a cork screw, she showed it to Kenzi with a sly smile and then began opening the bottle. With the cork popped she handed the bottle back and went to fetch a wine glass but as she did she turned around to see Kenzi necking her chardonnay direct from the bottle. She simply rolled her eyes and put the glass back in it's place.

Leaning against the kitchen bench watching the dark-haired woman intently Lauren asked, "so how much drunker do you need to get before we can have this conversation and I can go back to bed?"

"This much more", Kenzi put her finger to the halfway point of the bottle.

"What? Kenzi no, quite frankly as a doctor I have grave concerns about a woman of your size drinking anything more"

"Alright alright, geez lady. Look, I know it's late and we're just starting to get to know each other here but doubting my drinking prowess will lead to us most definitely getting off on the wrong foot"

Lauren shook her head as the woman continued to drink from the bottle, "I think we're well past the point of jumping off on the wrong foot"

Kenzi made her way, bottle in hand, back to the couch where Lauren joined her. She took a last large swig from the bottle before setting on the floor next to her.

"What did Bo tell you about her past? I mean her upbringing?"

Lauren shifted in her seat turning to allow herself to face the woman as she began to talk, "she told me she was in and out of foster care until she was thirteen and then she was placed with the Dennis family and that's where she stayed until she went to the Academy"

Kenzi nodded, acknowledging that everything she had said was correct before she continued.

"Bo and I have had much the same life. We both had mothers that were drug addicts, in and out of prison all the time. Every time my mother went back inside they'd shift me to one of my uncles until something would happen and the Department would be on the doorstep telling you to put some clothes in a bag before they took you away to a group home. Sometimes they'd place you with families for a short while and sometimes my mother would come back out and they'd let her take me back. It just played like that year after year. That's the goddamn care system, people just walk in a out of your life like it's not a thing at all. You never get to choose who stays or goes in your life, never."

Bo had talked very little to Lauren about her mother or her life prior to finding her foster parents. She could see now as Kenzi was talking to her that there was pain that came with this reflection and she understood better why the drinking was so necessary. She watched carefully as Kenzi's eyes shut off for a moment as she was lost to the memories of what she was sharing and then in an instant she was back, turning her face once more to look at the doctor.

"Yeah, we had pretty similar upbringings, but where I shut people out to stop so they couldn't walk out on me Bo invited people in and tried to find ways to make them stay, even the one's that she should have let go of. Fear of people leaving can be a terrible thing Doc. Bo and I have had to live with that fear a lot of years, I think we'll live with it forever."

Lauren felt compelled to say something as the woman opened up to her but was cautious with her words, not wanting to be trivial but also not wanting to overstep the mark, "I'm sorry Kenzi, I can't imagine how difficult it must have been growing up like that."

Kenzi leaned over on the couch towards Lauren who was holding eye contact with her and grabbed her hand, "what happened between you two, I can understand that you'd never forgive it, but I hope you can understand that she thought she'd already lost you. It was just another person walking out on her life and Bo just acted out the way she always acts out when this happens, it's unhealthy but it's the truth. Look, none of this excuses what happened between you guys but I hope it helps you at least better understand it. She loved you Lauren, fuck did she love you, that never changed with anything that happened. I think you need to know that."

Kenzi released her grip on Lauren's hand, sharing a look with her before picking up the wine bottle on the ground and making her way towards the door. As she walked out of the apartment she stopped and turned around looking at Lauren's face which was mostly expressionless, giving away nothing of her feelings, "I hope to see you around Doc, I really do".

Lauren sat on the couch for a moment before shaking her head in disbelief. She thought to herself in that moment that the answers to some questions are just better left unknown.

**Solomon Islands - three years earlier**  
Lauren looked out over the dry Toro airfield, lifting her hand above the bridge of her eyes to block out the blazing sun. She watched as four men animatedly pointed at the wheels of the small Cessna aircraft that cut a lonely figure in the center of the field. She'd already been waiting for three hours and the tin shed that accounted for the airport lounge was hotter than an oven. The hotter she got the more agitated she became. She was already going to be late for Bo's leaving party but she had an awful feeling that she may not be able to get there at all.

Deciding she'd had enough of waiting Lauren made her way over to the aircraft where her regular pilot for the Honiara to Toro run walked out to meet her. Luke was his name, he was a young man of no more than 28 years, a New Zealand native but Islander by descent. He was handsome and tall with a beaming smile and a laconic nature. Lauren enjoyed his company during their many flights together, often just the two of them jammed into the small four seater single engine plane.

"Luke, hey, what's going on are we going to be able to leave any time soon?"

"Oh, Lauren, it's looks like we might be in a bit of strife eh."

"What sort of strife?"

"Well, it seems that the wheel boom is fractured meaning I could probably get us up in the air no worries at all but landing might be a be problematic"

"How problematic?"

"Like kinda exploding on impact type problematic"

Lauren's head dropped in disappointment for just a moment before she flew into solution finding mode, "shit. Ok, so what can we do?"

Luke, scratching is head and wiping sweat from his brow considered the options, "easiest thing to do is to change the boom, it's pretty straight forward actually but we don't have the part here in Toro so we'd need to get it from Honiara. I could order that and hopefully we'd have it first thing tomorrow morning"

"No, no, no, I can't wait for tomorrow morning, I need to get back to Honiara tonight, It's the police exchange leaving party"

Luke simply shook his head in agreement, "yeah, I figured you'd say that so I've ask Boris over there to radio one of his mates on Shortland Island to fly his little two-seater over and we could take that back to Honiara"

Lauren clapped in excitement, Shortland wasn't far which meant she could be back in Honiara within the next couple of hours, "great, let's do it!"

Luke kicked the dirt by his foot, looking down not wanting to make eye contact, "yeah, but small problem, Boris's mate radioed that he's out of fuel, we'd need to boat it over to him and then fly from Shortland direct to Honiara. Also Lauren, someone would have to pay for fuel and the boat"

Lauren let out a frustrated groan, it wasn't about the money, it was the fact that to boat across to Shortland would add at least a couple of hours to their journey, "Luke, I don't care what it costs let's just go and go quickly. What time do you think we could be back in Honiara by?"

"If we're lucky by 10:30pm, plenty of time to party with the coppers"

Lauren would be four and half hours late and with no phone reception in Toro and only radio's operating out of the airport, she was stuck with no way to let Bo know. She knew she'd probably have an unhappy girlfriend on her hands when she got back.

* * *

xxxxx

Bo was sat at the bar of the Dancing Cocktail, disinterested in the frivolity going on around her, instead her gaze was focused on the inside of her pint glass. It had been a ten days since Dyson had let his information slip about Lauren's past. He'd offered it up so casually, _"you're not worried that Lauren's pulling the same routine on you that she did on Nadia?" _

Lauren had never told Bo about Nadia and the first she heard about how they ended was when Dyson explained the situation to her. At first she laughed it off, there was no doubt in her mind that the doctor was in love with her and was planning to return to Canada when her contract allowed. It wasn't until she went four days without a word from the blonde that the first doubts began to creep in. Bo knew that the Western Provinces were unreliable for phone signal and that Lauren would be in the field visiting communities showing the new Toro doctor the ropes but still, a shadow cast itself across her mind.

When the phone call finally came just two days ago the blonde had been distracted, she was at the hospital and there was lots of noise and activity around her. Lauren had ended the call quickly when a patient was rushed in, she said she'd try to call back and that she was sorry. No 'I love you', no 'I miss you', no 'I'll see you soon'. Just 'I'm sorry'. What was she sorry about? Sorry about having to end the conversation abruptly? Or sorry for something else? Bo allowed the doubt now to settle in her chest.

Sitting at the bar the detective was waiting for Lauren who was now over three hours late for her leaving party. She wasn't quite ready to give up on the blonde but she was inching closer. She loved Lauren and wanted to be with her but she desperately needed to believe the feelings were all returned.

Dyson approached Bo at the bar, ordering two shots of tequila before shifting one of the glasses under the nose of the brunette.

"No word from the Doc?" Bo answered by downing the shot and ordering two more.

Tamsin pushed through the crowd at the bar and stood next to Bo, putting her back to Dyson before downing one of the tequilas that had just been purchased.

The brunette looked up expectantly, "Did you check with your friend at the airport? Any word on flights in from Toro?"

Tamsin forced the tequila down the back of her throat before setting the shot glass on the bar, "Look, I don't want you to overreact to what I'm about to say because there will be a perfectly reasonable explanation for this ok?"

"What Tamsin, tell me", Bo's voice was desperate.

"The flight Lauren was meant to be on this afternoon never took off and the flight plan was withdrawn a couple of hours ago", Tamsin knew she was about to have go into damage control. She'd admitted to Bo she heard the same story Dyson had given her about Nadia but equally defended Lauren knowing that the situation between she and doctor was completely different.

"Bo, listen to me, there could be a million reason why Lauren didn't get on that plane, have you checked your phone?" Bo brought her phone up from the bar in front of her and showed it to Tamsin. No message from Lauren. No missed calls.

The brunette ordered another single shot of tequila, shot it down and then got up out of her seat at the bar, "I'm going home."

Tamsin tried to grab her but it was no use, Bo simply shrugged her off and headed for the door. The blonde wondered whether she should run after her friend and tell her that Lauren had only agreed to this assignment so she could get back to Toronto in time for her birthday but tonight was bad enough, she didn't want to ruin what was meant to be a well planned surprise too.

* * *

xxxx

Bo got back to the house and headed straight for her bedroom slumping onto her bed pushing her face into her pillow. The tears came quickly after that and the sobbing there after. The brunette's heart was breaking. After a while the tears ran dry and Bo pulled herself up, looking to the clock by her bedside which was about to tick past 11pm. Lauren was now six hours late. Bo was sure it was over.

The brunette began to undress for the shower when she heard a knock at her bedroom door. For a moment she hoped but then saw Dyson's face poke around the corner. Bo grabbed a t-shirt to cover her almost naked body as the scruffy detective turned away.

"Sorry, I just wanted to check that you were ok", he called out from behind the door.

Bo pulled on the t-shirt and sat down on the bed, "It's ok Dyson, you can come in".

Dyson walked into the bedroom and sat down next to brunette, "So... Are you ok?", Bo simply shook her head, "no, no Dyson I'm not" and the tears began to fall again.

"She's making the biggest mistake in the world you know, she'd have to be crazy for walking away from you", Dyson wrapped an arm around the fragile body next to him and Bo accepted it, dropping her head onto his shoulder.

"Nobody ever stays Dyson, what's wrong with me?" Bo's voice was so broken.

Dyson pulled the woman to face him, "Bo, there's nothing wrong with you, nothing do you hear me? I know I kick myself every time I think of the chance I had with you and the fact that I let it slip though my fingers. I've regretted it for so long and I can guarantee that she will too. I promise, she'll rue the day that she ever let you get away."

The earnestness of his voice brought a smile to Bo's face and she leaned in and kissed him on the cheek. As she did he pulled her face towards his lips and they grazed before Bo pulled back.

"Dyson...", her voice was mixed with caution and despair. He simply moved in and gently touched his lips to hers again this time bringing his hand up to the back of her neck to hold her there. When he pulled away he held his face just a breath away from her's, "I want you to know that I want you Bo. She might be willing to walk away from you but I'm never going to let you go again."

Bo's mind was heavy with tequila and her chest tight with loss. She wasn't able to process much beyond that fact that Lauren didn't want her and here in front of her was someone who did. _Someone wanted her_ and while she'd hate herself for letting it be in the years to come, in that moment, just for that moment, it was enough.

* * *

xxxx

The flight from Shortland Island was slow and turbulence filled. The small two-seater plane was thrown about in the night-time winds. By the time they set down at Honiara airport it was after eleven and Lauren's stomach was nausea filled. As she exited the plane she pulled out her phone and tried calling Bo but there was no answer. She quickly made her way through the terminal and placed some extra money in the hand of a young taxi driver explaining that he needed to take his quickest driving and times it by ten. The drive to the Dancing Cocktail was the most frightening twenty minutes of Lauren's life. The driver earned ever cent of his fare.

Rushing into the heaving bar Lauren quickly spread her eyes across the many faces. Searching the dance floor before her eyes reached the bar where she saw Dan and Tamsin. The doctor was slight but she was close to throwing bodies that blocked her path out of the way. Finally making it to the bar, she stood in front of her two friends her face awash with concern.

"Where's Bo?"

"Doc! Where the hell have you been?", Tamsin was drunk but relieved to see the blonde and pulled her and Dan in for group hug.

Lauren needed the embrace but couldn't help but be surprised it was coming from Tamsin, "honestly, this has been just about the worst day of my life, how mad is Bo?"

Tamsin broke away from the embrace and looked at the doctor, "mad enough to have left about an hour ago"

"Shit! I need to go", Tamsin pulled Lauren back as she rushed to leave and grabbed her house key from her pocket and handed it over, "just in-case she's not in the mood for visitors Doc. Just chuck the key under the mat for me so I can get into the house later." Lauren smiled and gripped the key saying her than yous before her friends wished her luck. She raced out of the club and flagged down a cab. After a long day of travel she was now only a matter of minutes from her lovers arms.

xxxx

The sun snuck through the drawn blinds of the living room and Tamsin almost cried out in pain as the light engulfed her on the couch. Her brain was completely fried but she was impressed that on arriving home in her drunken state that she knew better than to head to own bedroom where Bo and Lauren would have been have been 'reconnecting'. As she stretched out however the aches in her body from cramped sleeping made her desperate for her own bed and she was willing to risk the ire of her roommate to get some comfort.

Tamsin stumbled down the hallway, dragging her bones heavily across the floor of the weatherboard home. She knocked on the bedroom door as she entered, placing her hand over her eyes before gruffly calling out, "alright you two, I'm coming in, I don't want to see any girl bits so put them away". She didn't need to have her sight to know straight away upon entering that something wasn't quite right, she immediately heard Bo's voice stressed and cursing. Almost instinctively Tamsin removed her hand from her eyes and was shocked to see Dyson sat up in Bo's bed pulling his jeans up from the floor.

"What the fuck?" The blonde's voice was accusatory and she didn't care at all. Bo grabbed her kimono and got up as Dyson pulled his jeans on throwing the brunette an apologetic look before he left the room walking past a dumbstruck Tamsin, "Bo, what the hell did you do?"

The brunette picked up some of the strewn clothing from the floor before finally making eye contact with her friend, "please don't judge me Tamsin, fuck, I've had a hard enough night." Tamsin found herself fast sobering up, her mind quickly piecing together the activities of the evening before, "what the hell happened to Lauren?"

Bo looked aggrieved, "what do you mean? What happened to the woman that broke my heart by running off to the furthest reaches of the fucking Pacific so she doesn't have to break up with me properly? Gee Tamsin, I don't know what happened to her?"

Tamsin walked quickly up to Bo grabbing her by the shoulders, "what are you talking about? She got to the bar about an hour after you left, I gave her the key to the house Bo, she was coming here"

Bo's face fell pale and an unnatural sweat immediately beaded across her body, "What? No. No. She didn't come her, she didn't"

The blonde's eyes filled with disbelief, "Bo, the key, she left me the key under the mat at the front door, she must have been here". Bo pulled off her kimono and started pulling clothing on, "shit Tamsin, please tell me she wasn't here, oh my god, FUCK!" The blonde slipped down on to her own bed in shock and watched Bo work frantically to dress as tears began to rush down her face, "I thought she wasn't coming back"

Dressed, the brunette picked up her phone from the nightstand and noticed the missed calls from Lauren just after 11pm. She tightly shut her eyes, the gravity of the situation dawning on her more and more each second. "I need the keys to the Jeep Tamsin, where are they?", Bo was almost hysterical now. Tamsin stood and walked out of the bedroom and towards the kitchen stopping at the fruit bowl where she kept the key's to Lauren's Jeep but there were no keys to be found. The blonde walked to the front door and opened it only to see that the car was gone. Bo walked up behind her, "where are the keys? Quickly please!" Tamsin turned around shaking her head, "The Jeep's gone Bo, Lauren must have taken it."

If the Jeep was gone and Lauren had taken it then both woman knew that she must have been in the house. If she had been in the house then both knew what she must have seen. Bo brought her hands to her face, her body shaking in shock as Dyson walked out to see what the commotion was about. He immediately saw the state Bo was in and went to her side, she fiercely pushed him away, "You! This is all your fault!" Dyson looked down at her in shock, "what are you talking about?"

Tamsin pulled Bo away from him, forcibly grabbing her by the arm and dragging her out the door, "you need to get in a cab and get over there Bo, fix this, come on! Pull it together for gods sake"

* * *

xxxx

Bo was able to get a cab quickly and once inside she immediately started calling Lauren. The phone kept ringing out and each time she simply redialed and tried again. After more than a dozen attempts Bo tried Dan's phone, hoping he might be able to persuade her onto the phone.

"Fuck...Bo, what time is it?", She had clearly woken him, his voice deep and barely recognizable.

"Dan, can you put Lauren on the phone please?"

"ummm, Lauren? No. She's doing my Nugu run. She came in this morning and told me to stay in bed, she was going to do it. What's going on?"

"How long ago did she leave?"

Dan could now hear the distress, "about an hour ago I guess. Bo, what happened? What's going on, tell me"

Bo simply hung up the phone, unable to even bring herself to think about what she'd just done. Instead she told the driver to take her to the harbor.

When the car arrived she jumped out and ran towards the launch area where Michael usually picked up Lauren and Dan for their Nugu trips. As she ran towards launch she could see Lauren packing the boxes into the boat, she called out her name and saw the doctor lift her head and then watched as her shoulders slumped. Lauren passed a box to Michael and made her way down the gangplank towards the brunette who was running at full speed. When Bo finally arrived in front of her she could see that Lauren's eye's were red from crying and watched as her chin convulsed as she tried to hold back more tears now.

The two woman stood about two feet apart from each other, just staring at each other in silence for what felt like minutes.

"Lauren, I...I didn't think you were coming back", Bo took a step forward putting her hand out to grab the doctor's arm. She was met coldly as the blonde ripped herself away to make sure there was no touching. But still Lauren said nothing.

Bo attempted to continue, trying to make sense of what she'd done, of how she had ever allowed herself to doubt the woman she was in love with, "I heard about you and Nadia, and...well, you left her two weeks before she left too so you didn't have to break up with her and...baby please, I thought when you didn't show up that you'd done the same to me"

Lauren's mouth opened, her eyes narrowed in disgust, "What? Nadia? That was years ago Bo and we _did_ break-up before I left. What type of person do you think I am to just walk out on someone I care about? Stop blaming me. Tell me what you did Bo, tell me WHAT _YOU_ DID!"

The tears were now streaming down the doctor's face, even as she tried resolutely to hold herself together. Bo attempted to go to her once more but Lauren physically pushed her back shocking the brunette with the force at which her flat palms were applied to her chest.

"Don't you dare! Stay away from me. You don't get to touch me anymore"

"Lauren please, I know, I've fucked up but I can make this better, I can fix this please! Let me fix this", Bo was sobbing now and she watched as Lauren stilled with her words, taking in a deep breath. She was calm now as spoke, wiping the tears away from her face, "you can't fix this Bo. You can't. You'll never be able to fix my walking into your home and seeing you with him. No! Do you what the worst thing was Bo, it wasn't seeing you two fucking, it was the noises. It was hearing the noises that you made when we made love, the noises that were meant to be for me, given to him. You were fucking _enjoying_ being with him! Are you in love with him? Were you cheating on me all this time?"

Bo's hand was to her mouth, trying to mute the sobs as Lauren spoke. She was unable to imagine the pain she had just caused her girlfriend, "no! Last night was...it was only last night, I promise. I don't love him Lauren, I love you, I'm _in love_ with you. Please! Let me make this right"

Lauren stared at the pleading woman in front of her for moment and simply shook her head, "we're done" and she turned and stepped into the boat giving Michael the ok to turn on the engine. Bo rushed to the edge of wharf, holding eye contact with the blonde as the boat slowly pushed away. She yelled out desperately, tempted to jump into the water, "Lauren, please don't go, please!" But the blonde turned her back and moved to the front of boat where she didn't look back. Bo stood there watching until the small boat slipped beyond her range of sight, the tiny figure on the horizon looking as though it had melted into the sea. Lauren was gone and she wasn't coming back.

* * *

_A/N Well, yup, that's the breakup. So, interested to see what people think. I know there's quite a few that think Bo wouldn't do this! Well, she's going to have to work her arse off to get Lauren back. Apologies to those who thought I might be more creative with this! Clearly I'm not :)_


	8. Chapter 8

_A/N Firstly, I want to say genuinely that I am so grateful that people take the time to read this fic let alone review it. I absolutely understand that Bo's cheating in this would be a deal breaker for some and they can't continue on. I really am thankful those people took the time to get this far. For those of you going forward, a huge thank you! I get that Bo needs to work hard to get Lauren back, which means I need to work hard! I hope I can pull it off but I am now officially terrified...:)  
_

* * *

The café was alive with the sounds of breakfast in full swing as the percussion section kept beat with the clinking of utensils against plates and the drumming of coffee cups set down on tables. In the background the industrial coffee machine hissed and choked with steam as the bean grinder threw delicious aromas into the air.

In a room this small voices and laughter intermingled making it almost impossible to discern one from the other. Tamsin looked around from where she was seated, fidgeting as the she watched the activity explode around her, "perhaps we should have gone somewhere a little quieter" she mused in distraction.

Bo sat across from her at their table by the window stirring sugar into her latte before putting the froth covered spoon into her mouth, greedily indulging in the smooth taste as she slowly withdrew it. Drinking coffee was always such a sensual affair for the brunette and nothing was more important or satisfying than the day's first coffee.

"You seem nervous Tamsin"

The blonde sat up straighter in her seat unaware that she was wearing her apprehension so obviously, "I am a little I guess. Aren't you?"

Bo took her first sip of coffee and allowed the warm caffeine to course through her body, immediately feeling braver for it "I guess, but I'm more excited than anything."

Tamsin simply nodded and continued playing with the napkin in her hand as she stared distantly out the window. Her eyes narrowed to a squint as she watched a man cross the road and make his way towards the café. He looked familiar in build but his walk seemed somehow languid causing him to move with caution through the traffic filled street.

"Is that Dan?"

Bo's eyes followed Tamsin's to the street as she watched the man walk towards the door, "yeah, it is".

Both women stood in an act of formality as Daniel walked in. He looked around the small room before his eyes fell on them and when they did an enormous smile rose on his lips. He made his way towards them and it was then they both noticed the heavy limp in his stride.

"Well well well ladies, doesn't a dead man get a hug?" he arrived pulling Tamsin in quickly to a tight embrace, laying a hard kiss to her cheek before pulling away and winking at her. He then looked over to Bo, holding out his arms as she moved towards him. When they hugged he held her solidly for a moment and she felt an air of consolation in the embrace. In typical Dan fashion however he moved quickly to lighten the mood before the atmosphere became to heavy.

"Jesus Bo, leather pants? Really? Do all Canadian women take their fashion tips from Alanis Morissette's 90's stylings or is it just you?"

Tamsin laughed at the look of shock of Bo's face, both of them had forgotten how to handle Dan's often cutting but always affectionate critiques.

The three settled in quickly, Daniel catching both women up on his current life in New York where he worked in a community healthcare clinic in Brooklyn. The pay was terrible but the hours were flexible and the people he worked with were in his own words 'disgustingly earnest', just the way he liked them.

"How long have you been back State-side?" Bo asked hoping the question might be a well enough hidden entrée into what had happened post their leaving the Solomon's.

"I've been back about three years, so I came home not long after you two left"

Tamsin's eyebrows raised in surprise, "Lauren told me she'd only been back a couple of years, why did you come back earlier?"

Daniel gave a sad smile, looking down into the remnants in his coffee cup momentarily, "I'm not sure whether you noticed Ive got a bit of a limp happening these days"

Both women looked to each other, unsure what to say.

"Yeah, we noticed, I was assuming you might have had a bit too much fun last night. It wouldn't be the first time I've seen you struggling to walk straight", Tamsin knew in her gut the real explanation was going to be hard to hear so a momentary deflection was all she muster.

"Ha! Well Tam Tam, I'd like to say that was the case but if anything this limp has been a _barrier_ to my getting laid."

Daniel then shifted in his chair, extending his leg outside the table so both women could see it before pulling up the cuffs of his slacks exposing a titanium prosthesis where a leg once was.

Tamsin's breath hitched and she immediately cursed herself for providing an audio cue to her shock, "Daniel, fuck! What happened?"

For her part Bo sat there dumbfounded, unsure of what to say or how to react. Here in front of her was a physical reminder of just how much time had passed. So much had been missed and lost between these friends.

Pulling down his trouser leg Daniel moved back into place in his seat, "well ladies, that storm might not have killed me but it got damn close. If it wasn't for the good Doctor Lewis I would be dead. She saved my life that night and then again the next day when they operated"

Bo swallowed hard trying to push back the emotion rising in her throat and looking at Tamsin she could see her friend too was teetering on the edge, "how Dan? I mean, what happened?"

Dan still struggled to remember how. That fateful New Years Eve was such a blur. The wind, the dark and the pain. Instead of trying to piece together the events of that evening he'd settled for accepting the small miracle of his survival. Lauren on the other hand carried the guilt of his injury. She struggled not to blame herself while he was simply grateful she was there to save his life.

"I guess you could call me the Wicked Witch of the East, except I somehow managed to survive Dorothy's house landing on me"

Both women sat there confounded. What do you possibly say to someone three years after the fact? Daniel watched their horrified faces as they struggled with his loss. He had seen this reaction all before, not many people know how to grieve for the loss of a limb. So rather than wait for them to make good their grief he simply carried on with his story.

"After they operated on me I was flown to Brisbane to recover and Lauren visited me almost every other weekend until I left to come home. She decided to stay in the Solomon's and finished her contract. A lot of people owe her a debt of gratitude for everything she did during that storm not to mention what she did for communities afterwards. That's actually why I'm in town, she's being recognized with an award from the Governor General of Canada tomorrow evening along with some other notables '_for distinguished services to the Commonwealth_'."

Bo smiled, a swell of pride lifting in her chest. She already knew that Lauren was better than most and now the Queen herself was recognizing it. Reaching across the table she grabbed his hand and held it tightly, "Dan, I'm so sorry for everything you went through and I'm even more sorry that I wasn't there for you or Lauren when you needed me. I let you both down so badly"

Smiling, Dan squeezed her hand in return and then reached out his other and grabbed Tamsin's, "look you two, there's a lot of water that has passed under the bridge and I'm sorry I ever doubted either of you. I've always known you were both assholes but I should have known you weren't asshole enough not to touch base after a fucking hurricane flattens the country we were in", holding Bo's eyes specifically "I guess we're all guilty occasionally of not trusting people to do the right thing".

Daniel looked back to the blonde, "so, Tamsin, what have you got on tomorrow evening? I need to bring myself a date to this ball".

Tamsin looked up in surprise, "You want to take me as your date Daniel? You should know that I'm not cheap".

Dan laughed, "Well! I think we should let your dress choice speak to that detective!"

Looking across to Bo he then leaned in, "you know I'd bring you along Bo-ster if I could but I only have the one extra ticket and well, I'm not sure Lauren would be happy if I took you along as my date on her big evening".

Bo tried to hide the pangs of regret that were engulfing her knowing she had nobody to blame for this situation but herself. Had she not messed up so badly she'd be accompanying Lauren to this ball. It would be her that would be celebrating the achievements of the woman she had never stopped loving.

"It's fine Dan, I understand. I take it Lauren has a date for the night?" she didn't even attempt to use any level of subterfuge, she wanted to know if the doctor was seeing someone, it was as simple as that.

"hmmm, do you want me to answer that question honestly?" Dan asked.

Bo's eyes and voice were heavy with contrition "of course I do. I just want her to be happy"

"Then yes, she has a date for the evening, it's a woman she's been having a 'thing' with for the past six months. In typical Lo fashion she's trying not to label it"

Bo's eyes unwittingly began to fill with tears, _six months,_ she thought. That's longer than she and Lauren had been together. Through the doctor's supposed death and beyond she had carried the torch of their relationship. Nobody else stacked up. Nobody had even come close. Lauren she realized however would have spent the past three years trying to find someone to treat her specifically as she had not. Trying to find someone, anyone, other than her.

Daniel could see the emotion filled eyes and as a friend he felt a compelled to try to ease the pain, "I'm going to take my date here to a club after the formalities are done tomorrow night. I need to try to find myself a weekend boyfriend so why don't we arrange for you to catch up with us there?"

"What about Lauren?" Bo asked

"I'll tell her that I'm seeing with you after, if she and her redhead want to join they can but you know Lo, she'll likely just head home to bed"

_Head home to bed._ The thought of Lauren in bed with someone else hurt Bo more than she ever thought possible. The irony was not lost on her.

* * *

xxxx

Bo and Kenzi loitered around the edges of the dance floor of the club waiting for Dan and Tamsin to arrive after the ball. The brunette felt her heart rate jump and her mouth dry the instant she saw Lauren walk in.

Bo drifted into the darkness of the bar when she saw the group enter to stay out of immediate sight. It wasn't that she didn't want them to see her, rather she wanted a little longer to linger on the exceptional image of the doctor as she made her way through the crowd. She could feel a growing heat within herself as she watched her former lover cross the room, her form tightly held within a strapless black dress that stopped just above her knees.

Looking at Lauren's bare shoulders Bo was reminded of the warm evenings in Honiara when the doctor would sit out on the couch on her balcony, laying in between her legs with her back pressed into the detective's chest. Lauren would be reading her journals and papers but always succumbed to distraction when Bo began placing gentle kisses at the base of her neck. That was what falling in love felt like, when the mundane seemed magical and desire could simply not be suppressed.

When a redheaded woman slipped behind Lauren at the bar and wrapped her arms around her Bo felt a sharp pain rush from the corner of her palm, up her arm and straight to her heart. This is what a breaking heart feels like, the physical manifestation of all the worst emotions.

Taking a breath Bo urged herself from the shadows moving towards the small but lively group. She was first spotted by Tamsin who herself looked breathtaking in a black sequin dress with a single shoulder neckline. The blonde shot her friend a concerned look before sauntering up and throwing her drunk arms around her.

"BoBo, you're here!" she then leaned in and whispered, "yes, yes, she's a gorgeous redhead and stupidly intelligent but honestly, she's boring as fuck. I imagine Lauren falls asleep while their doing it".

Bo laughed, thankful for the well performed duties of her best friend.

Looking up from the bar Lauren saw Bo and gave a polite smile but her face turned pale when she saw the brunette make her way towards her. Beside her the redhead saw the changed look and turned to see what the cause was only to find Bo stood right in front of her.

"Lauren, hi. I just wanted to come over and say congratulations on your award. It's really amazing, you should be proud. _I'm_ really proud of you", Bo held the blonde's eye for a moment who returned a soft smile.

"Thanks Bo, it's very nice but I'm not really sure I did anything other than my job to deserve it"

The two women stood looking at each other for a moment before the redhead broke the tension, "hi Bo, I'm Rachel, I've heard a lot about you"

The brunette took the woman's outstretched hand and shook it politely before laughing, "really, you've heard a lot? All bad I bet".

The redhead stood expressionless before commenting dryly "yes, mainly"

Pausing Rachel looked to Lauren and placed a gentle kiss on her lips, "I'll leave you two to catch up".

Bo tried to be polite as the woman walked away, "she seems nice"

"Hmmm" was the only response the doctor gave her.

"Look Lauren, I'm sorry about all the calls and messages and I'm really sorry about Kenzi just dropping in on you a couple of weeks ago. All I've been wanting to say to you is...I'm just happy you're alive. I don't care if you never want to see me again, well that's not entirely true, I do care, but I'll respect your wishes. To me this world was to me a much lesser place when I thought you were not in it. But now...here you are".

"Yes, here I am" Lauren mused looking almost indignant.

Bo looked upon the majestic form in front of her. She was still living with the shock that the woman was not dead and seeing her standing in front of her, so beautiful and so alive made her happier than any words could ever express. It didn't matter if Lauren hated her at all, her mere existence brought her an inordinate amount of pleasure.

Knowing that this might be the last opportunity to ever do it, Bo moved towards the doctor quickly, slipping her arms around her tightly and holding her in an embrace filled with relief. Lauren was taken by surprise and in the shock of the moment she didn't push away. Grasping the opportunity Bo brought her mouth to the woman's ear, taking in the spiced scent of her skin before softly whispering, "thank you for everything you gave me Lauren. You'll never know how happy you made me or how much you meant to me. I'm sorry I let you down. I'm sorry I let us down".

It took every ounce of willpower she possessed but the brunette pulled herself away and stood back to see a look of utter bewilderment in the eyes of the doctor.

"I'll leave you to get on with your celebrating. Congratulations again Doc, I really am proud of you."

Lauren was able to stutter out a thank you before watching as Bo turned away to walk over to Tamsin and Dan who had now been joined by Kenzi on the dance floor.

Returning to her side at the bar Rachel stood next to Lauren, "so, that's your Bo huh?"

"Yes, that's my Bo"

* * *

xxxx

**Toronto - Three years earlier**

A frightening cold snap had engulfed Toronto. This New Years Eve brought snow so heavy it was almost impossible to leave your home. The air was thick with salt and a numbing frost. The whole city was in shut down on the very evening it should be ramping up.

Kenzi was stood in the kitchen of the apartment she shared with Bo looking out at the white powder that was strangling the city. She lit the stove and poured milk into a pot, stirring as it worked to the boil. It was the type of day that required warm sugar filled hot chocolates followed soon after by twelve year old whiskey. Anything to keep the internal fires burning.

The apartment was still covered in Christmas decorations, the smell of pine sat thickly in the air and the glitter of tinsel shone across shelves and walls. The Dennis' had always made a big deal about the festive season and now that there was just the two of them Kenzi had taken it upon herself to continue the traditions that had first helped her realize what family was. This year however had been low in festive spirit. Bo had returned from Honiara two weeks before Christmas and was completely broken. She barely spoke to anyone in those first couple of weeks and had to be forced to eat. In the early hours of the morning after her return Kenzi would wake to hear Bo whimpering in the bathroom. In those moments she would go to her and just sit by her side as she trembled in misery on the tiled floor.

It was Tamsin who had to fill Kenzi in on the breakdown of the relationship with Lauren. Every time Bo attempted to explain she'd end up an incoherent mess. Kenzi could sense Tamsin too was devastated by her friends actions. To make matters worse the blonde explained to her the reason Lauren had taken the two-week assignment in the Western Provinces but had not yet told Bo. Tamsin was holding out hope that Lauren might yet return to Toronto in time for Bo's birthday in mid-January.

Christmas Day came and Bo attempted to put on a brave face knowing what it meant to Kenzi. Tamsin had spent most of the day with the two women and plenty of food and drink were devoured, still merriment was most certainly lacking. In the afternoon the three settled in to watch _It's a Wonderful Life. _Jimmy Stewart's utter despair rang true to all but Tamsin and Kenzi hoped his ultimate salvation might be a prophecy of hope. But that was all in days before the hurricane began to build in the Pacific. Now on New Years Eve it was a hope of a different kind all three were clinging to.

At the kitchen table Bo and Tamsin sat worriedly, eyes glued to a laptop, refreshing the weather bureau maps time and time again. It was not the Toronto weather radar they were interested in, rather the Pacific region and all the countries scattered across it. A Category Five they called it, a weather system so enormous and angry that it sits on the edges of human comprehension. A storm of this size would put at risk the buildings and infrastructure of the most built up cities in the world, but in the Pacific it threatened to annihilate the countries it passed.

"I'm going back", Bo said resolutely, "I need to go back, I can't just sit here"

Tamsin understood the desperation of her friend. The woman she loved, the country she cared about and the many friends she had made were all suddenly in danger, "Bo, you're not going to be able to get there before this hits, they'll be ok, they'll be ready, nobody more so than Lauren".

Despite her many attempts to call, Lauren had refused any contact from the brunette. Bo had no idea how prepared the doctor was and no idea how safe she was going to be. More than anything she wanted to protect Lauren but instead she was left with the realization that she was the source of all the woman's pain. Had she not destroyed things so monumentally she'd at least be able to speak to her, to understand what was happening on the ground. Instead she sat in a warm room in the heart of a Toronto blizzard, paralyzed and helpless as a tropical storm threatened almost everything she had grown to care about.

* * *

**Solomon Islands**

The wind had howled for the past three days, forcing the trunks of the coconut trees to right angles. The noise of the gale forces were terrifying as the integrity of everything was pushed, prodded and challenged. In his home Dan was doing what almost every other person across the islands was doing, boarding up what he could while pulling together batteries, candles and canned foods. This wasn't the first time that a hurricane had hit the Pacific but it was the largest in the living memory of most.

The hospital in Honiara was prepared for the worst and Lauren had been there the entire day checking supplies and assisting with general preparation. Daniel was anxious for her to get home, he wanted to make sure he was with her when the true heart of the storm hit. In the few weeks since Bo and Tamsin left he'd tried to be there for her and comfort her as best he could. He knew the secret hopes Lauren held for her future with Bo, the things she had dared not even tell the detective. The home, the family, the life to be shared. In the end he knew that it was that future as much as anything else that she grieved for. Bo had taken it all away from them both.

The front door of the house flew open, allowing a rush of wind in that threw unsecured objects to the floor. Lauren fell into the house before pushing the door closed behind her with her back.

Dan was relieved but looking at the blonde's hair thrown about in knots he couldn't help but laugh "you're pulling off the wind swept look Lo."

Lauren came to the kitchen where Daniel was testing batteries on the kitchen table and pulled out one of their emergency medical kits and put it into her backpack.

"Is the hospital that low on gear that you're raiding our stash?"

Lauren, who was now below the sink, looked up from the cupboard where she was pulling tea-towels out and shoving them into pack also.

"I'm going to Nugu, Michael's daughter is having a troubled birth"

Daniel looked up shocked, "The fuck you are! How the hell are you going to get to Nugu?"

"Michael is going to take me in his boat"

Daniel grabbed Lauren by the arm pulling her forcibly to her feet, "Lauren, look at me, are you out of your mind? I can't let you go to Nugu, look at the weather! Michael doesn't have a boat he has a canoe with an outboard motor strapped to it! You'll both be dead before you get there!"

Lauren pulled her arm away and went back to packing up supplies from the kitchen, "an evacuation boat is going to be in Nugu in five hours, if I leave now I can assist in getting his daughter onto the boat and can look after her until we get her to the hospital"

"Lauren, that evac will not happen if the seas are to rough, have a look outside", Daniel was desperate, he knew that he was fighting a losing battle, once Lauren had her mind made up it was impossible to change it.

"That's the point Daniel, if the evacuation doesn't happen then this girl and her baby might die. Michael is a friend, I have to do this"

Daniel stood in the center of the kitchen, shock written all over his face. He knew what he had to do, "If you're going, I'm going"

Lauren shook her head, "No. I can't let you do that"

Daniel was starting to pull the batteries and torches on the table together in preparation, "you don't get a say my dear. I'm coming whether you like it or not".

After being so badly let down by someone she cared about it would have been easy for Lauren to forget that people could really be there when it counted. Daniel wasn't going to let that happen.

* * *

xxxx

By the time the boat reached Nugu Bay the three passengers were soaked through to the bone. Lauren and Dan had to bucket water out of the little boat for the entire journey and on more than one occasion the sea almost claimed them. Michael however was outstanding, reading the seas as well as any person could and he was able to navigate them to safety.

Arriving in Nugu the three rushed to the small village, through the now howling wind and almost horizontal rain. The village was filled with basic living shacks and huts and Lauren and Dan both knew that most homes would not survive the onslaught that was to come. When the two doctors arrived at Michael's home and tended to his daughter both immediately saw she would not make the journey back to Honiara on the evacuation boat.

"Dan, you need to go. Help with the evacuation"

"What? Lauren! No chance, I'm staying with you and I'm going to help get this baby through"

And stay Daniel did. Through the screams of wind and wailing of a young woman's pain. When the delicate walls of Michael's home began to crumble the doctors, with the desperate help the boat captain and his family, managed to take pregnant woman to the local rugby field where one of the only cement fixtures on the island sat. They made it to the clubrooms and hoped they could survive the assault that was to come.

Daniel would admit later the he didn't think they'd be able to save Micheal's daughter, let alone her beautiful baby boy. He watched the amazing Doctor Lewis work, in awe of how she somehow found a calm when all around them was falling apart.

The first cries of a newborn are such a wonderful thing. Even above the horrid waves of wind and rain, the howls of the child brought a momentary joy to all in the clubrooms. The baby was wrapped and placed in the arms of his mother where he fed, desperately unaware of the danger outside the doors of the concrete makeshift bunker.

* * *

xxxx

It's easy to be lulled into a false sense of security when the eye of the storm hits. While Lauren continued to look after Micheal's daughter, Daniel ventured outside to assess the damage. Lauren had not even noticed that he was gone. By the time she did the winds had returned and with it the grave danger for anyone not safely inside.

It didn't take long for the panic to rise. Daniel had been gone by all estimates over an hour and the worst of the storm was now back upon them. Lauren's nerves were frayed, she needed to find him. Standing in the door of the clubrooms she screamed his name time and time again but the wind simply threw her voice back at her. Although it was virtually impossible to move in the face of those winds Lauren knew she had to try. The thought of her friend hurt out there was too much to bare.

Michael, knowing that she had risked her own life to save his daughter and grandchild, accompanied her out onto the rugby field. They held to each other as they so slowly inched their way into the jungle.

When they hit the edges of the jungle the debris began to fly around them. Large palmed branches from the coconut trees smacked about, ripping across exposed and wet skin. Lauren was drenched, cold, hurt and frightened but when she heard Daniel's voice call to her for the first time none of it mattered. It was Michael that spotted him first, his upper body only just visible and his legs crushed under the weight of a fully fallen tree. His face was so very pale, even the in dark Lauren could see that.

"Lauren, am I going to die?", Daniel begged the answer of his friend.

"No hun, I'm here and I'm not going to let anything happen. You're not going anywhere, what would I do without you?"

The trunk was to heavy for Lauren and Michael to move without doing more damage, they'd need to wait and bring back more people to assist in lifting it. In the meantime Lauren made some makeshift tourniquets and applied them to both of Daniel's legs but she could see the left leg had taken the weight of the fall. They agreed that Michael would go back to the clubrooms and bring back additional help when the winds allowed. Lauren stayed with Daniel, holding on to his hand but in truth they were both comforting each other.

Lauren was laid down close to Daniel's ear, it was the only way in the noise and wind that they could communicate. The thick husk of the tree allowed Lauren to hold her place next to him without being blown away. She attempted to distract her barley conscious friend with conversation while they waited in the dark.

"Tell me what you're going to do when we get out of here and head back home Daniel?"

He was in so much pain he could only just get the words out, but Lauren could see in his eyes that his thoughts were away from this hell when he spoke and that was enough.

"I'm going skiing"

Lauren laughed, "Skiing, like snow skiing?"

Licking his dry lips Daniel laughed and the sound it brought a tear to his friend's eye, "yeah, the snow..I..I, I'm going to the furthest place from a fucking beach as I can get...maybe Alaska..."

"Maybe Canada?" Lauren suggested

Daniel squeezed her hand before his eyes began to slowly close. Lauren roused him with a shake, "stay with me Dan, don't shut those eyes. Tell me about skiing and what we'll do"

She could only just hear his voice as he spoke, "I'll teach you to ski or snowboard during the day and at night we'll drink eggnog and sit by fires..."

"That sounds amazing, what else, Daniel, what else? Keep talking"

Daniel took a deep breath, struggling over his words he pressed on "...and Tamsin will be there...and we'll...we'll go out of the prowl and you and Bo...you'll spend the night locked away in your room...we'll have...it ...it will be so much fun Lo"

Lauren could see that her friend was slowly drifting away and her tears just came. She loved him and it killed her to see him like this. At that moment she wanted him to have whatever fantasy at all he had in his mind, she truly didn't care.

"That all sounds so good Daniel, so good, you just hold on and we'll be planning that ski trip in no time I promise"

Lauren prayed to every god there was over the next hour or two, making all kinds of promises in exchange for her friends life. When the first colors of the new day shone through Michael returned with six or seven people to assist in freeing Daniel. Lauren then somehow managed to stabilize him and get him onto a boat to Honiara before operating on him and having to make the horrid decision to remove one leg.

In the aftermath all that was left was the promises made. The promise Lauren made to see out her contract, to help this community rebuild, to give herslef completely over to helping others in the Pacific while she could. These were the deals made with the gods that saved Dan's life. She would hold up her end of the bargin, even if it meant learning to ski, drinking eggnog and having to see Bo again.


	9. Chapter 9

_Hi all. __Thanks so much for reading and the reviews, you're so kind for taking the time to do it. I really am grateful._

_This chapter is the final of the dual past / present model and the introduction of the next phase of the story. It's been a tough few chapters to get here! I'm really hopeful you like it. _

* * *

Anthony Williams was one of Toronto's most infamous criminals. He had built himself a small empire out of the dirty hollows of a crack pipe and on the backs of the poor souls who were slaves to it. A young man of not more than thirty, Williams was small in stature but had a reputation on the streets for a short temper, tall women and modest living. Very little else was know about him. He had no real family to speak of. His mother and father, both small time criminals and drug addicts, died when he was but a boy. He'd grown up in the system and spent most of his childhood and teenage years in group homes for boys fighting for the scraps of an existence to call his own. Juvie had claimed him on two occasions but as an adult, by luck or good management, he'd managed to avoid any real hard time.

Williams was always the type you knew was never going to be satisfied with a slow burning humduggery life, his was planned to burn fast and bright. He didn't so much fall in with the wrong crowd as build one to satisfy himself. He was a natural leader, the type of kid that in another life, with another upbringing, might have done great things. This kid however had no chance at all. Local small time inner-city hoodlums saw potential in 'Tony' straight away and he quickly shot up the ranks making a name for himself as a smart kid who was afraid of nothing and because of that had a way of striking fear into others. It takes a bit of luck on streets to make it through your teens without succumbing to the decay of true poverty in one form or another. While Williams knew how to push it, he himself was smart enough to steer clear of any heavy drug taking. Despite seeing the destruction it caused up close, by the time he was in his early twenties, he was controlling the methamphetamine supply to all of downtown Toronto.

Williams was no saint but still a local mythology had built up around him. He was an everywhere man making no illusions of the fact that he was a criminal. He didn't wrap himself in the respectable façade of business, the properties he bought were in the communities where his clientele lived. He wanted to own every part of the misery of their drug taking lives. He was with them in their community, one of them they'd say, but in truth he was just another crook trying to find the margins from their despair. When required he knew how to put his hand into his pocket but he never forgot a cent he doled out.

Williams knew he'd die young and his only hope was that he'd go down in a blaze of glory. He didn't want prison. He didn't want the knife to the back. He always wanted to know what and who was coming for him so he could face it front on. Criminals like him have eyes and ears everywhere and Tony knew more than most that information was power. And so with whispers from those wanting to get into his good graces, he knew when that Toronto Police bust was coming for him. He was waiting and watching as the team was led into one of his gambling stores by an attractive brunette. He didn't care that she was a woman, a pig is a pig as soon as they put on that uniform. That night Williams wrote himself into annals of infamy when he shot a Toronto Detective right in the stomach. Nobody saw him do it, not even the cops, but everyone knew he'd pulled the trigger. Detective Bo Dennis became Anthony Williams greatest victory against the police force that he despised. Little did he know that his failure to kill her however had set the stage for what was to become the source of his greatest downfall.

* * *

xxxx

Bo had never met so many helpful criminals in all of her life. It's one thing to commit to the code of honour amongst thieves but it's entirely another when a cop has been shot and lived to tell the tale. Ever since returning to the job the Detective had been able to squeeze information from her contacts on the street more easily than ever before. Christ, she didn't even need to part with money. Nobody wanted to look like they were protecting a cop shooting drug dealer.

_"Detective Dennis! Hey, wow, it's great to see you back. You know I sent flowers when I heard you'd been shot. Awful thing, awful goddamn thing. But you look good, do you feel good? It's great to see you back..."_

Every informant was the same. So concerned for her wellbeing. But Bo knew in her lead infested gut that one of those fuckers had tipped off Williams previously. There was no doubt in her mind that Toronto's infamous drug lord was ready and waiting for her arrival that day. He had to know they were coming. This time, well, this time she knew the bastard was never going to see what hit him. This time she had the upper hand.

* * *

xxxx

_Pop. Pop Pop._

The smell of primer rose in the air and a small sting sat on the webbing of Bo's hand between her thumb and index finger. The noise of the gunshot had surprised even her, as did the smell and the burn that sat on her skin. This time Williams was not prepared but Bo and Tamsin both were. When he reached for his gun Bo knew to pull the trigger without hesitation. The last time he had caught her unawares. _Fool me twice_ she thought. Not this time.

Bo had been a cop for nearly thirteen years, straight out of high school and into the academy and yet this was the first time she'd pulled the trigger in the heat of battle. In fact there were only three other occasions that had called for her to pull her gun from it's holster at all. So to shoot a man, to knock him down knowing it might be his life, was actually much more traumatic than she thought it would be. When the gun fell to Williams side and she was safe to take him captive, Bo went to him quickly placing a solid hand over the wound that sat on his chest. Tamsin called for a bus but hoped beyond hope that this piece of trash suffered before expelling his last breath. He had not only almost taken the life of a police officer, unforgivable to those in the service, but he had almost taken the life of one of her only friends, her best friend.

The ambulance came quicker than Tamsin wanted and they had Williams at the hospital while a heartbeat still sat in his chest. When he was rushed into emergency Tamsin had eyes still filled with disgust. As the gurney was pushed through the corridors she saw Lauren, the paramedics were screaming information at her but the detective could see she was distracted, worried for the wellbeing of her friend.

"I'm fine Doc, don't rush to save that asshole by the way, he deserves all the pain he's feeling right now"

Lauren was listening to the vitals being provided as they got Williams into the ER. Bo, having travelled separately from Tamsin to the hospital came in behind, clearly in shock and almost grey in colour. The brunette's blue shirt was covered in Williams blood and a crusted black ooze covered her still shaking hands. On seeing her Lauren couldn't help but be reminded of that evening nearly three months earlier when her former lover had been rushed into the ER so close to death. The doctor could see the blood on Bo's body but not the source of it. She yelled out at the woman.

"Bo Jesus, are you ok? Are you hurt? Who's blood is that?"

Bo looked at Williams limp body and couldn't respond. Lauren called to her again while her hands still sat on the dying man's chest trying to stop the the blood flow. With a strong voice, the like of which Bo had never heard from her before she called out again.

"Bo, I need to know that you're ok. Are you hurt?"

Although still in shock the detective squeezed her eyes closed tightly and shook her head before looking to Lauren. Still unable to say anything she gave her a solid nod leaving the doctor satisfied that the brunette did not need any immediate attention from her. Bo stopped following them further into the ER and instead stood frozen in the middle of the corridor. Other officers were now piling into the hospital. Word of shooting had spread on the streets and through the beat. Bo had no words when her colleagues came up and congratulated her. Was she supposed to be happy? If she was, then why didn't she feel it?

Tamsin returned from the bowels of the hospital and led Bo to a private waiting area where they sat with the Captain of the precinct and two investigators from TPS Internal Affairs. It was the same room that they had sat in when Bo was shot. On that night the news they wanted was that their friend would live, that she would make it through. Tonight one could sense everyone was looking for different outcomes. Tamsin wanted Williams dead, Bo needed him to live, their Captain just wanted the outcome that would best satisfy his superiors and Internal Affairs were only worried about whether it was a clean shooting.

It seemed like such a long time waiting for any type of news. Then Lauren walked in and Tamsin was on her feet immediately. Bo barely registered the woman's presence in the room, she was still caught somewhere in her own mind with her eyes cast downwards to the floor.

"Well Doc, what's the story? Did he make it?" Tamsin was eager to have the news.

"He's in surgery, but yes, it looks like he'll make it"

With those words Bo looked up and noticed for the first time that pretty much all eyes were on her. She let out a relieved sigh and Lauren could see that the weight of this man's life, scumbag or not, had clearly sat heavily on her. Still the brunette said nothing, she just continued to sit there pensively her eyes glazed and distant.

Tamsin on the other hand still had plenty to say, "well I can't say I'm overly happy to hear that Doc, but at least we'll get him now for shooting Bo"

Lauren looked back to Tamsin and then to the brunette, "he's the man that shot Bo?"

"That's him, but he wasn't so quick to the trigger tonight. How long will he be in surgery Doc?"

"At least another couple of hours I suspect, you're welcome to wait here if you like. I can pick you all up some food from the staff canteen?"

Tamsin looked at Bo and knew she had to get her out of the hospital, "thanks Lauren, I think a few of the crew from the precinct are down the block at McAllister's Bar, I might take my girl here down for a knock-off". The Captain looked to the Internal Affairs investigators and they gave their ok. They had their initial statement and the next interview could wait until the morning.

Bo looked up to Tamsin and gave a nod in agreement before realising her shirt was covered in blood. She held it out from her body staring at the black stains encircled by deep red halos.

"I'm sure I have a spare sweater in my locker if you need it", Lauren offered.

All Bo could get out was a soft 'thank you' as she lifted herself to her feet.

* * *

xxxx

Bo followed Lauren to the staff room without saying a word. She watched as the doctor went to her locker and ruffled through some of her belongings before pulling out a grey sweater and handing it over.

"I can get rid of that shirt for you with our hazardous materials if you like?"

Bo shook her head, "I'll need to keep it incase Internal Affairs want it for their investigation into the shooting"

"Oh, ok. Well, I can get you a bag to put it in?", the detective nodded and Lauren left the room to fetch her something.

Bo walked over to the small sink that sat by the door in the corner of the room and took off her watch before pumping some liquid soap into her hands. This was perhaps the tenth time since arriving at the hospital that she had washed her hands of Williams blood but despite the scrubbing she just didn't feel like she could get them clean. She didn't want her dirty hands touching anything of Lauren's. So she began to wash, using her nails to scrub and scratch until her skin felt red raw.

When she was satisfied Bo began the process of removing her shirt, noticing how difficult it was for her hands to manage the small buttons. It all felt so painstakingly slow that she almost cried out in frustration. Finally she was able to remove it and place it gently on the bench before pulling the sweater over her body. She could smell Lauren all over it as she brought it down over her head. The perfume somehow lit her emotions. It had been such a hard few months since she had been shot and now this night felt like an important ending. Williams was caught, that war was over and yet she could not quite comprehend why she still felt so empty. Almost without warning Bo felt the sobs lift in her chest and all she could do was collapse down onto the bench next to that blood covered shirt. She hadn't cried like this in years, not since being told that Lauren and Dan were dead. Yes, there had been many a tear shed since but not like this complete mental and physical collapse.

Bo leant over into herself, placing her head almost between her knees and wrapping her arms up against her ears. She did not hear Lauren come back into the staff room and was only aware of her presence when the blonde kneeled down in front of her and began stroking her arms. Bo wanted to stop the tears, the last person in the world she wanted to see her like this was Lauren. She refused to lift her head and look up but could hear the doctor's muffled words of compassion and it only served to make things worse. She wanted so desperately to fall into her arms and stay there until everything felt ok again but she knew she could not, that time had passed, that opportunity lost.

Finally catching her own breath Bo began to calm herself but she could feel Lauren's hand still gripping her forearm, her thumb gently rubbing her skin. Composing herself mentally she began to look up and when she did she saw a pair of deeply concerned whiskey brown eyes staring back at her.

"I..I'm sorry..I think it all just hit me at once", her breath still hiccupping slightly from distress.

Lauren took a seat next to her shifting her body to face the brunette, their knees touching, "yeah I can see that" she whispered gently, "Bo, I have no doubt you did what you had to do tonight, we already know this guy had no qualms about shooting a police officer once before. You should be proud of getting him and now you'll be able to make him face up to what he's done to this city. What he did to you".

Bo nodded in her seat and accepted a tissue that Lauren passed to her, "thanks, I'm ok, I'm ok, I think I just needed to let that out". The truth was Bo had no idea where those tears had really come from. She had no idea what the true source of that breakdown was, all she knew was that it happened in front of the one person she didn't want it to.

Bo stood up wiping her face and attempted some levity in order to lighten the intense mood between the two, "I'm going to go. I think a drink is going to help me lock down some of these emotions again so I can push them back into a tiny little box way way down deep inside myself"

Lauren smiled and rolled her eyes before looking downwards as she nodded, "yeah, ok, well as a doctor I can tell you that sounds entirely healthy and I'd prescribe some vodka shots with a side of ale to help you really force those emotions down. We wouldn't want them appearing again would we?"

Bo somehow managed a light laugh, "Vodka huh? I've always actually found tequila to be more effective in assisting with creating high levels of emotional dysfunction" they stood in front of each other for just a moment before Bo made to leave, Lauren grabbed her by the wrist, "Bo, you're ok right?" Her voice was so filled with concern that it genuinely moved the brunette,

Bo slipped her hand on to Lauren's and shook her head as the beginnings of tears washed across her eyes, "No. No I don't think I am ok Lauren, but I will be".

The detective saw a look of desperation flicker across the face of the blonde who was unsure of what to say.

"You don't have to worry about me Doc, I've survived worse", Lauren nodded strings of hair falling across her face as she looked to her shoes. She was starting to understand that Bo was a survivor, that she was a woman who found her way back onto her feet regardless of what life threw at her.

Bo didn't linger long, as much as she wanted to be in the doctor's presence she knew they were a long way providing comfort to each other, "thanks Lauren, I'll drop the sweater back here to reception in the next couple of days"

* * *

xxxx

McAllister's was jumping with the bodies of police from across the city. The bar had become the site of the unofficial celebratory party to mark the capture and shooting of Tony Williams. When Bo walked into the small bar the place erupted in cheers. Her back was smacked and patted as she walked through the crowd before Tamsin came to her rescue.

"Alright alright, if you want to show my girl some love you can buy her a drink you cheap bastards", Bo smiled as Tamsin wrapped an arm around her shoulder and pulled her towards a corner booth where she saw Kenzi sitting surrounded by half empty beer and wine glasses.

"BoBo! My hero, the city of Toronto owes you a debt of gratitude and we're cashing that gratitude in tonight one sweet sweet drink at a time", Kenzi scooted over in the booth and allowed Bo to fall in next to her.

"What's your poison Detective Dennis? You're drinking on the Toronto Police Service tonight", Tamsin asked

Bo smiled, "Get me a shot of vodka and a Coors chaser"

The rounds kept coming like that for the next couple of hours until Bo, while still clearly drunk, was possibly the only person left in the bar that knew their own name. She needed a level of sobriety however in order maintain the front, everyone wanted her to be celebrating and happy but she just did not have it in her.

Excusing herself from the table where Kenzi was asleep, with her hand still wrapped around an empty shot glass, Bo picked up her beer before making her way through the crowd and to the front door of the bar. She walked out into the cool night air and leaned her back against the the outer wall. After the screaming noise of the bar she enjoyed just listening to the gentle hum of the traffic going by. She brought the beer to her lips and for the first time that night actually enjoyed the taste.

"You know we've got a history of you throwing beers at me Detective, so I feel like I need to give you fair warning as I approach", Bo looked up to see Lauren walking towards her.

"Lauren, hey, what are you doing here?"

Lauren leaned next to Bo against the wall and stuck her hands in the pockets of her brown leather jacket, "I wanted to make sure you were holding up alright" she said smiling softly. There was only a moment of silence before the blonde pushed her hand deeper into her pocket, "also you left this in the staff room by the sink", she removed her hand and pulled Bo's towards her before slipping a watch into her outstretched palm.

"You still keep it on Honiara time", Lauren said as she saw the shocked look on Bo's face, "I actually wondered whether Tamsin gave it to you that Christmas"

Bo didn't know what to say, part of her was deeply embarrassed. The watch was a gift that Lauren had given to Tamsin to give to Bo on Christmas Day after she left. Of course she'd given it to Tamsin to take and pack before she left for the Western Provinces, two weeks before she and Bo fell apart.

"Actually, no Tamsin didn't give it to me that Christmas she gave it to me after you...well, after we were told...you know, after the storm. Really, you should take it back, I'm sorry I shouldn't have kept it after everything that happened". Bo felt punch drunk as she stumbled over her words pushing the watch back into Lauren's hand only to have the woman cup her fingers around her fist. Lauren held Bo's hand in hers and looked up at the hopeful eyes staring back at her.

"This was always only meant for you Bo, it's yours, I want you to have it", she said quietly.

Bo concentrated her entire mind on just feeling the doctor's hand on hers before she felt Lauren slowly pull it away, she looked up to see he blonde giving her a tentative smile.

"Well, Detective you look like you're holding your own so I'm going to head off. Enjoy the rest of your night", she turned to walk off leaving a thunderstruck Bo still pressed up against the wall searching for words.

"Lauren wait!"

The blonde stopped and turned her head. Bo's breath was taken briefly by just how beautiful she looked under the lights of the street.

"I never said thank you, for the watch I mean. I love it, I mean I really love it. I always will"

Lauren nodded and smiled, "You're welcome and I really hope you do".

* * *

xxxx

**Toronto Three years earlier**

It had been fifteen hours since the the weather radar showed the Solomon's to be completely obscured by the hurricane. It was like watching a magician throw their cloak, now all you can do is sit and wait for the big reveal.

Bo and Tamsin had both on slept in fits and starts since their New Years Eve watch had begun. The phone lines to the Islands were now completely lost, there was no more ringing in hope. Those who lived in the Pacific were now completely isolated from the rest of the world, not that much of the rest of the world was paying attention.

The women had struggled to find regular news updates on the situation. The BBC News World Service had been able to file a couple of early reports when the edges of the storm hit but it had been a solid twelve hours since anything new. The Australian and New Zealand medias were reporting 'total and utter devastation' and estimated that 'hundreds of lives were lost' but no facts, only sensationalism. There were suggestion over the course of those hours that both countries militaries were preparing to send in their armed forces to assist with search and rescue once the worst of the storm had passed.

Bo sat at her kitchen table biting the edges of skin around her finger nails reading the newspapers online when the idea struck her.

"Dyson! Tamsin, Tamsin wake up!"

Tamsin who was only half asleep on the couch sat up,"what? Dyson? That asswipe won't know anymore than we do"

"No, but he was friends with those Aussie and Kiwi soldiers who were with the Regional Assistance Military team, if he can contact them they might know what's happening on the ground"

"That's fucking genius Bo, do you want me to call him?" But Bo already had the phone to her ear.

When Dyson answered she could tell she was waking him up and by the sound of his voice he was still half drunk from the New Year revelries. She explained the situation to him quickly and he agreed to call his contacts and see what he could find out. Now all they had to do was wait.

* * *

xxxx

It was nearly an hour after the conversation with Dyson that Bo began to get worried again. She tried to call him but he was not answering his cell. When she tried his home phone there was no answer either. Bo was concerned that he'd fallen asleep again and was about to grab her coat and face the weather in pursuit of his lazy ass when the buzzer for her her apartment rang.

Tamsin went to the entrance phone and saw that it was Dyson and she buzzed him in. Her heart began to race, why was he here?

"It's Dyson", her voice was concerned as she shot Bo a look. The blonde walked to the front door of the apartment where she greeted him as he came through.

Before they were in ear shot of Bo, Tamsin muttered to him firmly "It's not a great idea for you to be here D-Man, you could of just called us and let us know what you'd heard". Tamsin knew it was unfair to be hard on him after they had asked a favour but in the few weeks since they all returned to Toronto Bo had made it clear that she did not want to see him.

Dyson simply gave her a solom look and shook his head hoping his demeanour would relay the seriousness of his visit, "I couldn't do this over the phone". Dyson walked passed Tamsin and into the kitchen, his eyes not leaving Bo's. She knew, she could see it, there was news and it wasn't good. Kenzi went to Bo and held her arm.

"Tell me Dyson, what is it, what have you found out?" The brunette demanded.

Dyson stood about three feet from Bo with Tamsin at his shoulder, all three women were staring intently at him, desperate looks etched across each of their faces.

"I got in contact with my Australian friend Joel, he was leading the Regional Assistance military unit in Honiara. He's in Townsville at the moment about to be deployed back to the Islands to assist with the recovery effort. He's received some initial intel and missing persons information that he sent through to me"

Bo's could sense his stalling and tried to hurry him along, "And? Dyson what? What have you found out?"

The tall man looked down momentarily, finding it difficult to hold the eye of brunette knowing what he was about to say. He took a breath and looked back up, turning his head first to Tamsin and then back to Bo and Kenzi, "Lauren and Dan were listed as passengers of an Evacuation Boat that left Nugu in high seas. The boat sent out a mayday signal about an hour into the two hour journey.."

Bo shook her head in disbelief, "No...", Kenzi gripped to her sister more tightly, steeling her for what was to come next.

"All communication with the boat was lost about twenty minutes later.."

"No Dyson, don't you say it..." Bo's voice was crippled with fear

"I'm sorry Bo, it sank. Joel said they've sent a rescue party to the sight of its last distress call and it appears that all souls were lost"

Bo watched as Tamsin struggled to a chair and put her hands to her face before she started crying. She'd never seen her cry before and so she watched her in disbelief before walking up to Dyson and slapping him hard across the face.

"You're lying! Tamsin, why are you crying? He's lying, he wants Lauren to be dead!" turning back to face Dyson she spat venomously at him "why are you saying this? It's cruel!", Dyson shook his head and brought the brunette close into his chest, "I'm so sorry Bo, I'm so so sorry".

He held her as she began to break but the brunette pushed herself clear of him and turned with hands fast to her mouth before Kenzi went to her, grabbing her with Dyson's assistance as she began to falter, her legs no longer able to hold under the weight of the realisation.

There are sounds that your hear during your life that you know you'll never forget, for Kenzi it would always be Bo's cries of total and utter grief in the hours that followed. It was the sound of her sister breaking. As the small woman stood to her feet she looked across the room to Tamsin and then back to Bo knowing in an instant that both women would likely never be the same again.

* * *

xxxx

It was three weeks since news of Dan and Lauren's deaths had filtered through. The official death listings were made a couple of days later and when both names appeared Tamsin and Bo knew they needed to accept they were gone.

Bo was inconsolable and did not leave her bedroom for nearly two weeks. Her Captain, on the advice of Tamsin and Kenzi, insisted she make an appearance at the precinct, for her own health more than anything and she obliged. Her first day back was her birthday. Bo could think of nothing better to do than work, she had nothing to celebrate afterall.

For Tamsin, Bo's birthday had an added air of sadness, the blonde knowing that Lauren would have flown in on this very day to surprise Bo had things not ended between them and had that boat not sunk. Kenzi and Tamsin discussed how best to deal with the day and had decided the three women would just order some takeaway and watch a movie.

Bo endured the evening more than anything, accepting graciously a pair of beautiful black knee high leather boots from Kenzi and a return flight to Monterey in California from Tamsin. The blonde wanting to take Bo diving, in some way to honor the memory of their lost friends.

Bo had been surprised by Tamsin's need to talk since Dan and Lauren died. She was constantly reliving events and relaying stories and memories of their times on the Islands. The brunette had felt sure Tamsin would be a quiet griever, putting up a strong face and wanting anything other than reminders of their friends. The opposite was true. So when Kenzi went to bed and Tamsin began a conversation with Bo about Lauren the brunette felt compelled to say something.

"Tamsin, I get you want to talk about this stuff but I'm not ready, I'm sorry, I want to be but I'm not"

Tamsin, who was sat on the couch of the apartment next to Bo, stood up and went to her bag in the kitchen returning with a small rectangular box wrapped in Christmas paper and an envelope.

"I know Bo, but I need to tell you this, I've thought long and hard about it and decided this is what I need to do", she handed the two items over the confused brunette.

"What is this?"

Tamsin sat down next to her friend again, "Before she left for Toro Lauren gave me these to give to you on Christmas Day, she wanted it to be a surprise. I don't know what it is and I don't know what the note says either. I'd hoped I could give this back to her one day and she could decide what to do with it but, well she's gone and I think its right that you have it, whatever it is"

Bo looked at Tamsin shocked, unsure of whether she had the nerve to open either. She pulled up the small envelope first and looked to Tamsin whose eyes were urging her on, before sliding her finger under the rim and ripping the envelope open. Inside was a kitsch Christmas card with a picture of Santa on the cover kissing Mrs Clause. Holding her breath the brunette opened the card and saw instantly Lauren's penmanship, that alone bringing tears to her eyes.

_To my dear beautiful beautiful Bo_

_Merry Christmas. I so wish I could be with you today in Toronto. I can tell you that I am probably miserable and I know I'll be missing you but at least the weather will be glorious here on the Islands and I'll hopefully be drinking warm beers on the beach with Dan. But anywhere without you feels cold._

_I wanted to get you a small gift to ensure you always knew where and when in the world I am. If you're like me you're counting the seconds, minutes and hours until we're together again. So I thought this gift might help. _

_You've brought me more happiness than I ever thought possible. Thank you for that. I love you more than you'll ever know._

_Lauren xx_

The tears were now streaming down the brunette's face. She passed the card to Tamsin, allowing her friend to read it as she opened the small box in front of her. With the paper removed a grey navy blue watch box sat in front her, Bo slowly opened the casing and within it was a black strap antique 1950's ladies Rolex, simple and refined with a white small elongated rectangular face. Beneath it in the box a tiny note with Lauren's writing on it.

_This watch is set to Honiara time and is NOT to be changed until I am firmly in your arms again. L x_

Bo smiled and put the watch on as a flood of tears now ran down her face. She was holding back the sobs, wanting instead to try to concentrate on how wonderful it felt to hear Lauren's voice one last time, even if it was only through the words set on paper


	10. Chapter 10

_A/N - Hi all, thanks for you patience. I do generally try to get a post up a week but in truth, I handed in my final University paper for the year last week and given this fic has been the ultimate source of procrastination while I should be studying I've kind of lost my normal writing pattern so i've been a little sluggish. I'll need to find a new writing process because school is most definitely out for summer (I might have this post grad done by retirement which would be handy). Don't worry there's a full time job to keep me occupied too so there's still lots of excuses for missing deadlines :)  
_

_I recognize there's still a bit from the past to be 'uncovered' so I will be dipping into it as necessary but this is the first (almost) wholly set in the present chapter. Hopefully it works. Cheers for the feedback, support, reviews and thank you for reading, it's really kind of you to take the time.  
_

* * *

It was still too dark and too early for the birds to begin their morning songs but the gentle breeze that pushed its way across the city streets had the warm tips of a summer's day. The streets were quiet of traffic with the only real noise the stirring of leaves on the few trees that marked the sidewalks. Bo and Lauren walked side-by-side saying nothing to each other. But this was a comfortable silence, the markings of the first truly comfortable moments the two had spent together since re-emerging in each other's lives.

As they walked the few blocks to Lauren's apartment the brunette couldn't help but wonder what cosmic forces were at play. Only a month ago the doctor was comforting her while she dealt with the aftermath of the Williams shooting. Then, only three short weeks ago, she'd almost given up completely on Lauren ever coming back into her life. But now here they were, walking side-by-side and needing to say nothing, just being in each other's company.

When they reached Lauren's apartment both turned to face the other unsure of how to leave. Bo inched forward, snaking her arms under the doctor's before bringing her in for an embrace. They held each other tightly, both feeling the rise and fall of the other's chest and smelling the familiar fragrances of warm skin.

Bo began to pull away slowly but noticed the mirrored reticence of the arms locked around her. Both women gave just enough slack to the other to allow for the released contact of their bodies but they maintained a relaxed grip of arms as their faces sat almost eye-to-eye.

Lauren kept her gaze lowered, resisting the temptation to look completely into the woman standing in front of her. Bo watched her carefully and could sense the torn emotions at play. While desperate to test the blonde's resolve Bo instead dropped her arms allowing Lauren to slip loose of her. Although the brunette wanted her desperately she did not want to be opportunistic. She wanted the doctor to want her back in the all the same ways and it was clear that she was still far too burdened by their past to feel anything like that.

Lauren stepped backwards and finally found the confidence to lift her eyes where she met Bo's and smiled before turning towards her apartment building.

"Goodnight Bo. Thanks for walking me home. I'll see you soon"

_I'll see you soon._ The brunette almost hooted in victory. That almost amounted to; _I want to see you again_. After the disaster at Tamsin's apartment just three short weeks earlier Bo wasn't sure that Lauren would ever feel that way again.

* * *

**Three weeks earlier**  
The Camaro grunted loudly as it slowly made its way through the bustling streets of Chinatown. The vegetable wares of all the Asian grocers pushed out onto the pavement to meet the passing foot trade as tourists and locals alike ambled untroubled through the streets. Bo could see the Friday evening crowds of diners assessing menus on the curbside as above them in the restaurant windows roast ducks hung like ornaments as offerings to the culinary gods.

Every time she'd drive to her partner's apartment in the almost relentless bustle of Downtown Toronto she found it impossible to find a car park. The only thing worse than trying to find a parking spot near Tamsin's apartment was trying to find a parking spot with her sister in the car with her. Kenzi was forever attempting to direct Bo and her precious Camaro into spots better suited to push bikes.

"There, right there Bo, we'll get the old girl in that spot!" Kenzi threw her pointed finger across Bo's face.

Bo's response was swift and curt, "Kenz, careful! The only way we'll get her in that spot is if we dismantle her and pile the pieces on top of each other"

The two women were a little on edge. It was the night before they were taking their weeklong adventure to the spoils of British Columbia. Bo was intending to use the break to get the first diving hours of the summer in, while Kenzi was intending to spend the week doing much of the same sleeping, eating and drinking as she normally did but in picturesque surrounds of Vancouver Island.

Bo's Police Captain had encouraged her to take a week off on the back of the Williams shooting. He'd said it was to clear her head but Bo knew the increasing media interest in the fact that Williams had been shot by the very police officer he had put a hole in only three months earlier was generating heat up the line of command. While she was initially reluctant to leave Tamsin to pick up the pieces of the case before arraignment, the Prosecutor involved thought it best for her to remain at arm's length at least for the time being.

Rather than spend the enforced week sitting around the apartment feeling sorry for herself Bo decided she and Kenzi should get away. Diving had very much become a part of Bo's life since returning from the Pacific. It started with the trip to Monterey that Tamsin had insisted on their taking after news of Lauren and Dan's death had come through. She found the experience of going back into the water for the first time without Lauren initially difficult but she soon succumbed to the truly cathartic nature of the blue. Once below the waves it was easy to believe the world above was a fiction and there were moments, only fleeting but still very real moments, when Bo would forget that there was a terrestrial world at all. Diving always seemed to help her heal and it was one of the few things she could do that reminded her of Lauren and Dan that didn't reduce her to tears.

While packing up her equipment in preparation for the trip Bo had realized she had left her favorite mask and camera at Tamsin's apartment. She needed to have them, especially that damn camera that Lauren had given to her, she'd not ever dived without it. Tamsin had already told her she was staying in for the night so Bo decided to jump in the car and head over. Kenzi wanted to come along in the hope of convincing Slamsin into at least one Friday night drink.

After finally finding a park the two women walked up the stairs to the apartment that sat above the Saigon Rose Restaurant. Despite the difficulties of parking Bo loved going to Tamsin's home, always finding it warm with the aroma of ginger that rose from the eatery below. When they arrived at the front door Kenzi rang the doorbell with her non-wine carrying hand and heard footsteps approaching and laughter from the other side of the door causing she and Bo to look at each other quickly in confusion.

When the door flung open Tamsin stood in front of them holding a bottle of wine in her own hand and Kenzi and Bo both caught the look of terror that crossed her face upon seeing them.

"Hey? What are you guys doing here?" The blonde muttered almost in a whisper.

Kenzi threw her hand across her heart and stumbled into the apartment past the woman talking in her best southern belle, "Tamsin! Tell me you're not drinking on a Friday night without me, my poor little heart just could not take the rejection"

Bo followed in behind throwing her partner an apologetic look as she did, "sorry T, I've left my mask and camera here..."

The brunette was stopped mid-sentence as she almost crashed into Kenzi who was standing frozen in front of her. When she looked beyond her sister she could see Lauren, Rachel and Daniel all sitting around the dining table, a beautiful spread of food and glasses of wine set out in front of them.

Kenzi swung her head around and looked at Tamsin whose face was burning bright red with embarrassment.

"Oh, I'm sorry, it seems we're interrupting the deliberate exclusion of two of your friends from a dinner party", the petite woman spat scornfully for all to hear.

"Kenz..", Bo whispered putting her hand on her sister's shoulder before stepping out from behind her to lay eyes the party seated in complete silence, everyone looking sheepishly in the brunette's direction.

"Hi everyone", Bo said politely as the room in front of her shot awkward smiles in her direction.

"Dan, I didn't know you were in town", Bo continued, forcing down the hurt at having so clearly been left out of the invitation for this little reunion. She could sense the discomfort all around her and didn't want to make a scene. In the room in front of her was the life she used to own, the friendship group that once was hers. She looked at Lauren with her beautiful redhead seated next to her. Rachel now occupied the seat that once was hers, the life and woman that she had thrown away so carelessly. Bo had thought that the truest regret she had ever felt in her life was in moments after learning of Lauren's death. She had in those first hours and days grieved for the existence that was taken away from her by that storm. She had almost allowed herself to forget that it was she, not that storm, which had destroyed the future she wanted with Lauren. Now looking at the faces around that table she was reminded that real regret is seeing what you had and discarded only to realize how desperately you want it all again.

"Hey Bo, yeah, I'm in town for the weekend. I hear you're off diving tomorrow, sounds like it will be a great trip", Dan smiled.

Kenzi jumped in immediately, "yeah, off diving _tomorrow._ She was absolutely available this evening for, oh I don't know, drinks, dinner, catching up with old long thought dead friends"

Bo grabbed her sisters and pulled her in with an arm around the shoulder, "sorry to interrupt everyone, I've actually just left a couple of things here that I need for the trip, I'll just grab them and we'll be out of your way".

The brunette forced a smile at the group seated at the table but must have looked crestfallen. She swung Kenzi around and out of the room but not before catching a brief glimpse of Lauren seeing what she was sure was a look of pity in her eyes. It was a look that made her sick to the stomach.

Bo made her way into the hallway desperately trying to hold back the tears as she opened the cupboard where she remembered Tamsin stored some of her diving equipment. Quickly she found her mask and camera sitting on a small pile of travel books and she grabbed them and turned to leave but instead came face to face with her partner.

"Bo, fuck, you're pissed right?" Tamsin asked her with Kenzi huffing incredulously beside her.

Bo was shocked and hurt but wanted to show none of that to her friend. She held back the want to demand an explanation, to insist on having the blonde tell her why she excluded from the night so deliberately. In reality she already knew.

"Tamsin, no, I get it. If I had the chance to hang with them I would too, I understand why they don't want me around", they were the words of a defeated woman.

The blonde shook her head and leaned in, not wanting anyone else to hear, "it's not like that, Dan did want to see you, but tonight was the only night Lauren could do dinner and Rachel was coming so she didn't want you…" Bo quickly shot her hand up before Tamsin could finish the sentence, worried that if she heard her friend say the words that Lauren didn't want her there she'd break on the spot.

Bo gently rubbed Tamsin's shoulder, "It's fine, really, I understand. Go back to your party and have a great night, I'll see you next weekend"

As she walked to leave Bo popped her head into the dinning room where voices could only be heard in hushed tones that immediately fell silent as she reappeared in front of them.

"It's nice seeing you all. Dan, I hope to catch up properly when you're next in town. Have a great night" she didn't wait for any responses before turning and walking way followed closely by Kenzi who gave Tamsin the finger as she walked towards the door.

Bo flew down the stairs and out into the brightly lit and busy streets of Chinatown almost gasping for air when she hit the sidewalk. She made her way to the car with warm tears running down her face. It might have taken three years but the retribution she deserved for all she had done to Lauren was now being dealt out and Bo felt deserving of the entire hurt of it all.

* * *

xxxx

The week of diving provided Bo with a lot of time to think. When Lauren came back into her life she felt sure that time would provide the two of them with the healing required to find their way back to each other again. She had perhaps allowed herself to linger too long on the thoughts of the doctor comforting her after the Williams shooting. She should have known that it was Lauren being Lauren, a doctor and healer, it was not her being the lover and carer that she was in love with in Honiara.

If Lauren needed Bo out of her life then that is what the detective was going to give her. She owed the woman whatever it was that she wanted. As much as it devastated her to do it Bo would have to find a way to live in a world where Lauren was alive and well and accept that she was not to be a part of that life.

With the week on Vancouver Island over Bo returned to work, still being kept away fromthe details of the Williams case. The drug lord had been denied bail and Tamsin was working closely with the public prosecutors to lock up the case against him.

Bo spent the couple of weeks after returning to the job beginning the process of looking at Williams known associates, it was a lonely process without her partner working with her but at least it allowed her mind to be somewhere else, anywhere else but on Lauren.

* * *

xxxx

Bo looked at the soft layer of dust that had collected on the dash of her Camaro. Under the flood of street lights every particle looked as though it had its place. The brunette dragged her middle and forefingers across the black interior collecting the grit then between them and her thumb. Looking back at the dash she smiled at the two jagged lines that now sat there, the clean stripes that now protruded out of the muck of her car.

The brunette realized she had been sitting in this same spot for nearly four hours. Waiting and watching the red brick apartment block that sat about fifty yards up and across the street. It was the home of one of Anthony Williams best known associates, his number two, the man known only as 'Mouse' on the streets. Bo had come to know much more about the man whose real name was Benjamin Andrew Venman. He and Williams had grown up in the same group homes and had lived much the same life. They were as thick as thieves ought to be, both men being inherently distrustful of everyone but each other.

There were all types of rumors as to how 'Mouse' came to have his name. Like all great urban legends the fiction had its roots in the truth even if the branches of reality now stretched far from the tree. Venman was slight in size, thin and standing no more than 5"7 but there were few who claimed his stature to be the source of his moniker. On the streets they say 'Mouse' got his name for his ability to sneak up on his unsuspecting victims, taking their lives, their limbs or whatever else it was that Williams had demanded, before they even knew what had happened.

While it is true that Venman was suspected in a number of murders relating to Williams drug activities, Bo had learned from those closer to his youth that he had actually got his nickname from his time in the group homes where he'd rarely spoke a word to anyone. Foolishly other boys had taken his quiet nature to be a sign of fear and weakness but it didn't take Venman long to use his fierce fists and agile nature to beat the truth of it into them. He had a punishing violent streak for a boy of his size. Because of his stature he knew never to pick a fight, not because he was afraid but rather because he was smarter. Those who chose to seek him out always underestimated him and he'd use their arrogance to his advantage. Williams had watched Venman for a long time and grew to respect the way he handled himself. It wasn't long until they were fast friends, always together and usually up to no good. While almost everyone refers to Venamn as 'Mouse', Williams had always called him Benji. He was the only person who Venman allowed to do so.

Bo was well on the way to crushing Williams but she did not want to just destroy the man, she wanted to bring down his entire empire and all the would-be heirs with ambitions to his crown. At the front of the line was Venman. When she propositioned her Captain to allow she and Tamsin time to watch the Mouse she was turned down on the grounds of resources. Her Captain had reasoned that with Williams captured they had almost cut off the head of the snake and the rest of the animal would die a natural death without its leader. But Bo knew that this was a two-headed serpent and that until Venman was taken down the this empire would continue to grow.

It was now past 1am and the detective was smart enough to know that if dust on the dash was distracting her it was probably time to call it a night.

The brunette's mind was tired with thoughts of everything that was happening in her life but as she turned the ignition to leave she heard a growl cascade throughout the car. She might need sleep but right now she needed food more. It was time to head to Henry's.

* * *

xxxx

Henry's diner was a Dennis family institution. Bo and Kenzi were as much a part of the place as the deep maroon leather booths or the framed picture of Elvis Presley that sat behind the counter.

When she first arrived at the Dennis household Bo was quiet and elusive. Every word needed prying and there was little emotion that she cared to share with her foster parents at all. It took a Saturday morning visit to Henry's for breakfast to kick-start the relationship between the three of them. Perhaps it was the Waffles or maybe the Root Beer Float? It might even have been Rice Crisp Squares that she devoured in numbers unnatural for a girl of her size. Whatever it was, that first breakfast as a family at Henry's was remembered for two things, the beginning of the tradition of every Saturday breakfast at the that old diner and the day the young Bo started talking and just would not quit from that point on.

As an adult Henry's was still Bo's choice for every breakfast date even if it meant crossing the city from her apartment to do so. She and Tamsin met at Henry's most Tuesday mornings before heading to the precinct and while the Dennis girls continued the family tradition of Saturday mornings in the corner booth. Bo rarely had cause to visit the place in the evenings but it was one of the few places she knew that was open all hours. Thankfully breakfast was served at every hour of the day.

At this time of night Bo was able to park the Camaro virtually directly outside the door of the old diner. From the driver's seat she looked at dual frontage windows into the interior that was lit up warmly by low hanging beehive lights. When she hopped out of the car and walked in through the steel framed doors the old bell that sat above announced her arrival with a clink and jingle. An older woman looked up from behind the counter where she was hunched over reading the newspaper. She was dressed in her diner whites and on laying eyes on the brunette she let out a solid laugh.

"My God! Detective! As I live and breathe, I can't say I have ever had the pleasure of seeing you with the sun down! In all these years, it's always just been breakfasts. Come over here and let me make sure you look as good in the nighttime as you do in the day".

The brunette walked over smiling but embarrassed by the attention. "Hi May", Bo leaned over and gave the woman a warm kiss on the cheek before being literally pulled across the counter for a hug. The woman released her grip slightly but pinched hold of Bo's cheeks as gently as she could and began inspecting her face.

"Yes, hmmm, just as I thought, as perfect at nearly 2am as you are at 7am", with the inspection over Bo was allowed into her seat at the counter.

May was tall and round and held an almost intimidating size especially with the added six-inch height advantaged that came with the raised position behind the silver formica countertop. Her tight curled hair was short and grey and Bo would swear that in the nearly twenty years that she'd been coming to Henry's that the woman had not aged a day. She looked sixty-five when Bo was a thirteen year old and she looked sixty-five still today.

"What in world brings you here at this time of night young lady, shouldn't you be at home in bed?" May asked while pouring the detective a coffee.

"I'm trying for extra credit May, you know, impress the superiors and all that"

"Is that right? Well from what I'm reading in the papers you've done enough impressing of people for a lifetime with that awful Anthony Williams being caught"

Bo gave her a smile and a nod as she took a sip of her coffee.

"So, my gorgeous girl, what is going to be? Can I possibly tempt you with something other than the usual?"

Bo shook her head sternly, "that would be far too much change for one night, I'll stick with my Waffles, bacon and maple syrup thank you"

"Coming right up my darling", May reached across and pinched Bo's cheek once more, this time with enough gusto to draw a ''yew-ouch" from the brunette. Bo rubbed her cheek, "if you keep doing that one day you're going to pull it off May!"

The brunette reached across the counter and pulled May's newspaper towards her, it was the early run of the day's paper and Anthony Williams face was still occupying the front pages. It was a nearly a month since Bo had shot him but the whole city was enthralled by the case and the increasing pieces of information about this man's life that were coming to light. He was a modern age gangster and the media were swooning over the story of the two female detectives that had finally brought justice to bare on the man who had at slipped the grip of so many before them.

Bo had received a lot of attention as the decorated cop who sought and extracted revenge on Williams. Although she knew her shoot was clean and was acutely aware that had she given Williams half a chance he would have brought her down again there was a small part of her that felt guilty and she simply couldn't place why.

* * *

xxxx

Lauren had heard the commotion from behind the counter and had turned from her position in the corner booth only to see Bo walk in. She simply could not believe her luck and twisted her head down quickly before the brunette got a look at her. Every Wednesday night she ran the late night shift in the ER and for virtually as long as she had been back in Toronto she finished that shift and walked the five blocks, come rain, hail or snow, to Henry's for her late night dinner.

The doctor sat stubbornly in her seat watching the brunette read through the newspaper in front of her at the counter. She watched as Bo leaned on her left hand, turning pages attentively before picking up her mug to sip her coffee. The worst thing, Lauren thought, about Bo walking into the diner was that she was actually pleased to see her. She wanted to hate this woman, and a large part of her did, but it was as though her body had an emotional response all of its own when she was in her presence.

Seeing Bo at Tamsin's had left her somewhat confused and torn. She could see the hurt that being left out of the night caused her former lover. She knew those eyes and had seen the same look when she had told her she was taking that two-week assignment in the Western Provinces. It was a look of disappointment and confusion. Bo had attempted to be resolute on that occasion too. Always trying to be strong.

Lauren had begun to question whether she had asked for Bo to be excluded as a way of hurting her, suspecting she had in part. Not wanting to deal with Rachel and Bo in the same room, she could have easily asked her current lover to stay away. Rachel wasn't much of a fan of Daniel's really, she found him difficult to have a conversation with as he was constantly throwing in barbs and jokes. The redhead liked her conversations straight, intense and intellectual and she simply didn't know what to make of Dan's wit most of the time. Had Lauren not invited her Rachel would not have cared at all.

Tonight Lauren had no shield to protect her and there was no way to escape the diner without Bo seeing her. She'd have to make herself known. She got up out of her seat at the booth and brought her mug up to the counter, casting a slight shadow over Bo's newspaper which caused the brunette to look up from her seat.

"Lauren…", the brunette said warmly in surprise

"Hey Bo, do you mind if I join you?"

"no...no, of course not, please sit", Lauren sat her mug down and swiveled in the stool to face Bo.

The warmth of the brunette's smile and eyes staring at her made Lauren nervous for some reason as she noticed the increase rhythm of her own heart playing in her chest. She searched her mind for something to say but was coming up blank as she sat transfixed on the featured of the face staring back at her.

"So what are you doing here? I remember telling you about Henry's once but you said you'd never been here", Bo asked.

"That was a few years ago now detective, the hospital just a few blocks away and this place is open all night, serves decent coffee and the company's ok too", Lauren smiled as she looked at May topping up her coffee.

"The doctor here is almost as much of a regular as you Bo, I can just about set my Wednesday night clock to her coming in", May laughed, "you two know each other?"

"In another life" Bo said almost sadly. May looked between the two women and could tell almost instantly whatever their history was it was it was still having a lingering effect in the present.

When May walked to the other end of the counter Lauren took her opportunity to open up the conversation.

"Bo, I wanted to say I'm sorry about Tamsin's dinner. It was me that asked her not to invite you, I thought it might be a little weird to have you and Rachel in the same room again. It wasn't fair to do that to you, or Dan or Tamsin. I'm sorry"

Bo shook her head fiercely, "Lauren please, you don't ever have to apologize to me. Not for anything, not related to that mess. I made my own bed and I get to lie in it now. I get why you don't want me in your life. I just wish…It's selfish I know, but I just wish we could get back to being friends somehow"

Lauren huffed a little before smiling, "we were never friends Bo. I never wanted to be your friend"

Bo laughed, the woman was right, the chemistry between the two was there from the get go. They had not been put on this earth to be friends, they were always meant for something more physical, more intense, more unified than that, "I guess you're right, I have no idea if you're even a good friend, maybe you're not even worth having as a friend I don't know?"

Lauren laughed, "Hey! Watch it. I'll have you know I'm an excellent friend to have, just ask Dan"

Bo nodded, "yeah well he's kind of biased I guess, he would vouch for your credentials after you saved his life and all"

Lauren's face must have contorted slightly because immediately she could see Bo's look of concern.

"Shit Lauren, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought up that stuff. I don't know what happened there, all he told me is that you saved his life that night twice"

The doctor took a breath; she'd never really spoken to anyone about what happened that night. With Tamsin and Bo gone and Dan recuperating in Australia she had nobody in her life she trusted to let go of all the pain and anguish and emotion with.

"It's fine, it's fine. You know I don't think I've ever spoken to anyone but Dan about that night. When we do talk about it he's always just brushing things off, he doesn't want me to feel guilty about what happened to him but I do"

There was hurting in the blonde's voice that Bo wanted desperately to ease, to offer herself up in place of the pain that she was feeling. She knew something about guilt and its corrosive ways. Left unchecked for long enough it destroys everything about who you are, who you were and who you'd hoped you would be.

"Lauren, I know we're not friends and I'm the last person on earth you'd ever be able to trust but if you need to talk about any of it, even if you think it would hurt me to hear it, I'm here"

There was not a shred of deceitfulness in those words but still Bo did not expect that Lauren would take her up on the offer. And so when the doctor began to talk it shocked them both, not just that she took the brunette up on her offer, but also by just how much she had to say.

Bo listened attentively as Lauren began to explain the violence of the storm on the New Years Eve, how Dan had refused to let her go to Nugu alone, how they could not get on the evacuation boat and how when the eye passed over she lost Dan somehow.

Bo cringed as Lauren explained how she stayed with Dan crushed under that tree as the storm found and then lost its strength. Tears ran down both their faces as she shared the desperate rush to get Dan back to Honiara, how she was able to scramble together a makeshift operating room in a hospital overrun with the hurt, dead and dying.

Lauren began to break a little as she told Bo about the smells of death that sat over the Islands in the weeks after the storm. The pungent stench of decay, filth and rot only serving to augment the disease born of the endless pools of standing water. She tried but had to stop as she painted a picture of the suffering that stayed long after the international aid community had left the Islands, leaving those left overwhelmed by the extra medical support the communities required. She explained her decision to return to Toronto was more about her own health and state of mind than anything else but that she felt an immense guilt for turning her back on the region.

When Lauren stopped talking she noticed that Bo had hold of her hand tightly, the woman's all night breakfast sitting untouched and cold on the counter next to her. When May had brought it out neither could say.

Lauren looked at her watch, "oh my god, it's well after 3am! I am sorry Bo, my god you must be wrecked"

Bo gently let go of Lauren's hand, "No apologizing Lauren, please, I'm glad you were able to get that off your chest. We don't have to go anywhere, if you need to keep talking, I'm here, for as long as you need"

Lauren stood up from her stool, the muscles in her legs contracting with the sudden rush of blood, "thanks Bo, I mean it, thank you but I think I need to go home"

Bo stood up to meet her, "let me take you home, my car's just out front"

Lauren swung her jacket on, "no, it's fine really, I'm just two blocks away, I'll walk"

"Lauren, it's three in the morning, what type of police officer would I be If I didn't at least walk you home?"

Lauren nodded knowing it wasn't worth the argument, "ok Bo, ok, walk me home".

* * *

xxxx

As Bo and Lauren walked the few blocks to the doctor's apartment the brunette's mind was deeply entrenched in the cosmic forces that were at play, too deeply entrenched to notice the man lurking in the shadows.

In truth, even if Bo's mind was free of the distraction of walking next to Lauren she probably still would have failed to notice. There were very few that ever heard the man called Mouse coming. He only allowed himself to be seen when he wanted to be seen.

For now Andrew Venman was happy to watch, happy to understand and learn about all the things that were important to Bo Dennis. When the time was right he'd destroy her world just as she was trying to destroy his.


	11. Chapter 11

_A/N - I know I said a week didn't I? Apologies... _

_I hit a big old speed bump after the last chapter, so If it wasn't for Kravn giving up way to to much time to help sort me out I would have been lost to the ether. So A HUGE thank you to Kravn for that support, work, feedback, more feedback and encouragement._

_And of course thanks also to you all for reading and reviewing, it really is so very much appreciated that you take the time, I mean that._

_Warning - this chapter contains a flashback..._

* * *

Lauren woke to the smell of coffee cascading through her apartment and the feel of sun-touched sheets pressed against her body. Everything felt and smelt better on a Saturday morning. Turning over in the bed she saw confirmation of Rachel's exit with the sheets beside her no longer holding the warmth of her body. The redhead could never be compelled to stay in bed long after the sun came up. Lauren of course had tried, oh yes how she tried, but as soon as her lover's eyes opened in the morning she'd be up and starting her day. She was a woman who never liked a minute of the day to be lost.

Over the course of the months that they had been together both women had come to accept the differences of their Saturday morning routines. Lauren could never be accused of being lazy but if there was one indulgence she partook in that was slovenly it was a slow starting Saturday. Rachel had learned to accept that Lauren was not the type to jump out of bed on one of her few mornings of respite from the hospital. For her part Lauren had given up trying to keep the redhead in bed knowing she'd only end up with an agitated woman next to her and that defied the purpose of lazing around. Despite their difference somewhere over the months they'd grown a routine as a couple, a Saturday morning ritual that belonged singularly to neither of them but to both of them together.

It was more than six months that Lauren and Rachel had been engaged in this dance. Both women had deliberately avoided defining what the relationship was and for a time this was genuinely because neither of them knew what they wanted from it. Now however it seemed like it was just a hard conversation to have. They were colleagues and it was complicated, more so than a burgeoning romance should be.

Instead of embracing their initial attraction, going on dates and getting to know each other, they allowed their relationship in the early stages only to manifest physically. They had found little time to truly get to know each other. Both women were doctors in the same hospital but Lauren worked the ER and Rachel was a surgeon and although their paths crossed regularly the encounters themselves were brief and rushed. There never seemed to be time for each other at work and both were too professional to partake stolen glances or longing stares across the ward. Neither woman could therefore pinpoint when exactly they became a couple. Somehow what had begun as a Friday evening drink between two colleagues had turned into waking up together every Saturday morning since for more than six months.

This Saturday morning was just like all the other Saturday mornings they spent together. Lauren lay in bed slowly waking to the day but could hear Rachel coming up the stairs with her morning coffee and the weekend newspapers. Arriving in the bedroom Rachel passed over a mug to Lauren and sat above the covers next to her in the bed. They lay like that reading the papers in contented silence until the pads of their fingers were dark with ink.

Once she was done reading Rachel sat up and removed herself from the bed searching the floor of the bedroom for her shoes in preparation to leave. The two had sat so quietly in each other's company that Lauren was startled when the redhead spoke up from the end of the bed where her fingers played with the knots that sat in her laces.

"Lauren, I've left the application for the Director's position downstairs. I think you should apply for the job". Rachel's back was to the blonde and so she did not notice the surprised look that now plastered her lover's features.

Lauren searched herself for words, unsure of how to concede that she was reluctant to apply for the role when she knew how much the woman wanted her to.

"Umm, thank you. You know Rach I really do appreciate how much you believe in my abilities to hold such a senior position but I don't think I'm interested. I'm a doctor not an administrator"

Those words stilled the movements of the redhead as her fingernails picked at the wormed joins that sat in the shoelaces of her brown leather boots. She put the shoe in her hand on the floor before turning around from her seated position to face Lauren. Seeing that the blonde was going to resist her advice on this job Rachel crawled her way up the bed until she was leant over the blonde in the bed. Thick red locks fell down over her shoulders and a warm blaze of autumnal colors captured her face as sunlight streamed through the tresses. Lauren looked up at the deep blue eyes hovering over her and brought her hand to Rachel's cheek as the redhead lowered herself onto Lauren's lips. They pulled away from the kiss slowly, lingering on the touch of noses.

"I know you're a doctor Lauren, you're a great one at that, probably the best ER doctor I've personally ever seen, that's why you'd be good at this job. You'll have a chance to build the hospital's ER into your vision for how it should work"

Rachel brought her mouth to Lauren's once again, enveloping the doctor's lips with her own before the blonde gently pulled away.

"hmmm, if I didn't know better I'd think you were trying to influence my decision" the blonde whispered seductively.

Rachel didn't need anymore of an introduction bringing her lips down heavily this time to a waiting and eager mouth. Where the two women may have had trouble on occasion finding words to explain their feelings, they seemed always to find the function in each other's bodies. As soon as the redhead reacted to Lauren's assertion the blonde had fingers at the corners of her shirt, tugging at the buttons that kept skin from skin.

As swollen lips began to embrace in a frenzy Rachel's fingers pulled back the light cotton sheets that covered Lauren's naked form in the bed, grappling with obstructions that lay between her and what she wanted most. In these moments of madness Lauren often felt as though the redhead took her, having her at will, controlling her desires with every touch. The blonde only ever needed to give so very little of herself over to the woman, instead she felt claimed and more importantly as the redhead groaned against the feel of her, completely wanted.

There was a roughness in how they touched each other, Rachel forcing herself inside of Lauren as soon as her hands found a way. The trace of the redhead's fingers felt demanding and the pace punishing as Lauren hitched her leg over the hips and fingers that were powering into her.

Although the control lay completely and wantonly with the woman above her, Lauren could see a concern in Rachel's eyes that told her that holding the power was important but that she wanted the blonde to want for all of what she was giving to her. It was that look, those eyes and the breath upon her lips that had Lauren tipping into the abyss.

Lauren held to Rachel as the woman worked against her feverishly, driving her towards completion with the same doggedness that she attacked every other aspect of her life with. There was nothing that this woman failed at and as the blonde clung to the back of her lover's neck she could only be grateful for the high expectations of success the redhead held for herself. When Lauren finally broke, contracting against Rachel in dizzy exultation the blonde noticed a warm look of almost relief pass over the woman's eyes.

Lauren caught her breath as Rachel gently removed herself, rolling over onto her side next to the blonde with a placated smile lifting to her lips. The blonde couldn't help but laugh at the look of satisfaction smeared on the woman's face.

"You look pretty pleased with yourself. Is that your typical approach to mentoring people into career advancement or do you save that just for me?"

The redhead laughed before catching her own breath and turning her voice seriously to the question that really underpinned the comment, "Lauren, I just want you to fulfill your potential and this job, if you were to get it, it would set you up for life. You would be one of the youngest senior hospital administrators in country, you're career would open up".

Lauren had thought about it. The Chairman of the hospital Board was a big supporter of hers and wanted to bring in new blood to the executive. The position of Director of Emergency at one of Toronto's busiest hospitals would be a prized position for someone so young but it would mean spending only a fraction of her time actually working with patients.

"I'm really not sure that it's who I am Rachel, I want to work with people, I trained as an ER doctor because that's where my skills are best suited. I think I'd be a terrible administrator or at the very least an unhappy one. I'd miss the work too much"

Rachel shook her head and rolled over on her back. She was the type of woman who was entirely ambitious and Lauren knew absolutely that if they stayed together she would see this woman do many great things in her career. Equally Rachel had an expectation that any woman she tethered herself to would be an intellectual equal in every sense of the word. Aspiration in career was a must for the redhead but for Lauren her ambitions were not bound to the ladder of the hospital administration. She wanted instead to find a career that fulfilled her both personally and professionally.

Lauren moved to her side taking in Rachel's soft features and fair complexion. As she did she couldn't help but think that she was almost a pure manifestation of what she would have thought of as her ideal woman. She was beautiful, brilliant, charming and someone who would never hurt her and yet for some reason she still resisted giving herself completely over. In her reasoned mind she knew it was because she'd been hurt before rushing in with both Nadia and Bo, this time she wanted to take things slowly. While a slow pace provides safety, and she did feel safe with Rachel, it also waylays the passion that falling in love ignites and if she was honest Lauren would admit that she missed that feeling.

Rachel stood up from the bed re-buttoning her shirt before going back to her shoes "you need to challenge yourself to be the best you can be Lauren, in ten years time you'll bored of the ER and this chance will have come and gone. You need to seize these opportunities when they present themselves".

Lauren simply smiled but in her mind she wondered whether Rachel truly understood what made her tick. She cursed herself for being so closed with the woman. Just a couple of nights earlier she allowed herself to breakdown with Bo but she froze when it came to Rachel. Instead she left the woman to guess at what ambitions she held for her life and career. She struggled in herself to understand why this was the case and how it was that Bo, after three long years and all the hurt still could have an emotional hold on her.

"I'll think about it Rachel, I promise. Let's talk about it later ok? I'll read over the application today and we can discuss it".

Rachel nodded, only just satisfied, before making her way over to Lauren who still lay in the bed with the sheets wrapped up to her chest. The redhead stood above her for a moment and Lauren sensed she wanted to say something else to her but instead the woman simply leaned down and kissed her gently, "I'll see you tonight at work Lo".

The blonde watched her leave and brought her hand to her forehead. She knew that Rachel cared for her deeply but they were both still toying around the edges of the seriousness of the relationship. Lauren wondered what she would be willing to sacrifice of herself to make this work and what compromises Rachel too would allow.

Alone in her apartment Lauren spent the next hour just lying in bed allowing the sunlight to wash across her skin. As much as she loved lazy Saturday mornings she couldn't help but think about how long it had been since she'd had a morning as perfect as she knew they could be. As if by its own accord, although with very little resistance from her conscious self, Lauren's mind drifted to the Pacific. She looked to the clock that sat by her bedside and saw the time was 10am. Pulling a pillow over her face the blonde growled deeply into it. She hated that every Saturday she knew exactly where in the world Bo Dennis would be.

* * *

xxxx

Kenzi and Bo walked into Henry's diner laughing about the sleazy older, balding man who had pursued the brunette so vigorously the night before.

"I thought he was in with a genuine shot BoBo, one more drink and you would have been his for the taking. Sadly I think I've seen you resist lesser men!"

"Ewww, Kenz, please, there is no way I have ever stooped that low….but I'll grant you I've gotten close in the past. The long long distant dark past."

Bo threw her arm around her sister and pulled her towards the corner booth where they sat every Saturday at the same exact time.

May was stood behind the counter in her usual spot talking to a man dressed all in black with a baseball cap pulled down to his eyes. They appeared to be talking friendly and Bo gave the older woman a smile.

"Usual ladies?" May called out knowing Bo and Kenzi didn't need the formalities of service anymore. This place was practically a second home to them. Things stayed on the diner's menu simply because the Dennis girls wanted it so.

"Thanks May", Bo smiled back.

As they reached their booth Kenzi saw Tamsin sitting in their spot reading the paper. The blonde glanced up sheepishly.

"Urgh great, speaking of lesser people, hello Tamsin", Kenzi hadn't seen the detective since she and Bo had walked in on the dinner party she hosted with Dan, Lauren and Rachel.

"Kenzi, come on, I invited Tamsin. You two need to kiss and make up, I can't have my two favorite people warring, it's not good for the appetite". Bo had already accepted Tamsin's apology for excluding her from the night but was actually still unsure whether she herself was deserving of the woman's remorse.

"Fine!" Kenzi dropped into the booth slouching directly across from the blonde, "you can start making it up to me by paying for my breakfast, we'll see how we go from there".

Tamsin rolled her eyes, "is there any angle you won't play for free food and drink?"

"What? I'm wily like that. You'll want someone like me around Tamsin when the zombie apocalypse hits. Haven't you ever seen The Great Escape? It's people like me that survive and thrive in war".

Tamsin resisted the smile that was forcing its way to her lips, she was glad to be sitting with her two friends again, "so what trouble did you two get into last night?"

"Well, Bo here somehow managed to resist the seductive power of sixty five year old balding unemployed guy while I managed to drink on the wallet of a lurvely young Frenchman who I said au revoir to this morning"

Tamsin laid out a fist for Kenzi to bump in celebration of her conquest before jeering, "Bo when was the last time you took someone home? I'm starting to worry that the wondersnatch might have a case of vaginal depression".

"Is that even a thing? Vaginal depression?" Bo scoffed in retort.

"It's a thing, I've heard of it. And Tamsin is spending so much time these days with a certain doctor that she'd have to know all about the medical ways of the world isn't that right TamTam?" Kenzi might be getting a free breakfast from the blonde but there was no way she wasn't going to let her suffer a little first.

Bo rolled her eyes before almost nonchalantly shifting the direction of the conversation, "speaking of Lauren, I ran into her here on Wednesday night"

Kenzi's eyes widened, "umm, _Pardon_? Is it Saturday morning? Why am I just hearing about this now? Spill lady, let's go!"

May came across with both Kenzi and Bo's coffees, "here you are ladies, food to follow shortly. It's nice to see you here in the daytime again Bo, I've got to say it was strange seeing you here on Wednesday night so late. Tamsin, you've got to make sure she doesn't spend so much time at work"

Tamsin shot Bo a wary look, "what were you working on late on Wednesday night?"

"Hold up T-bomb, let's stay the course here, you two can talk cop-shop later, spill the beans on Lauren Bo-ster", Kenzi urged.

"There's not that much to spill Kenz, she was here, apparently it's a thing for her on a Wednesday after work. She came over and we talked for an hour or so and then I walked her home"

Tamsin lifted her eyebrow, "you walked her home? Did you two swap commitment pins too? The fifties called and it wants its chivalry back Bo"

Kenzi laughed, "so she just happens to have a little tradition here at Henry's too…Interesting, a little bit weird but interesting".

Bo winced slightly in embarrassment, "alright you two, enough. It was, I don't know, it was nice. It was just good to have some time with her. She filled in some of the things that happened after we left the Solomon's and it kind of felt like we reconnected on some level"

Kenzi let her head drop to the table and began to bang it, solidly enough to rouse a response from the utensils on the table. Tamsin patted her head before the dark haired woman looked up, turning her face to Bo, "seriously Bo? You reconnected?"

Tamsin jumped in quickly, "I think what your sister is trying to say Bo is, be careful. Lauren's with Rachel and you guys have a bit of work to do before you're going to be reconnecting on any real level"

"I know that Tamsin, what I mean is I want to reconnect with her, as a friend if that's all I can have. All I know is that on Wednesday night, I felt as good being near her as I have felt in years. I just want more of that".

Kenzi put her hand on top of her sister's, "Bo, if you want to spend time with Lauren it's going to mean spending time with the redhead, are you going to be able to do that?"

Before Bo could answer a man was stood next to their table looking down at all three, a smug smile plastered over his face. Kenzi recognized him as the gentleman that May was talking to at the diner counter when they came in but as he took off his baseball cap Bo and Tamsin both saw immediately it was Andrew Venman.

"Detectives, so nice to see you starting the day with a good filling breakfast. You know they say it's the most important meal of the day. And you, you must be Kenzi, Bo's adorable little sister. I hear you've got some lip on you little girl and way of finding trouble"

Kenzi scowled, "oh yeah, and who did you hear that from my man?"

Venman had a cruel look in his eyes, "There's nothing I want to know that I can't find out little girl".

Bo looked to Tamsin, both agreeing silently that there was no move they should make at this point in time.

Bo was calm and outwardly appeared disinterested when she spoke, even thought her heart was pumping quickly in her chest, "Alright Venman, I think you've fulfilled our creepy quota for the day. Is there something else we can help you with because if not I would suggest you be on your way so we can all get on with enjoying our Saturday"

Venman's eyes narrowed in on her, the smug smile replaced by a mouth almost quivering in anger, "I wonder how my good friend Tony is enjoying his Saturday morning in maximum security Detective? It's only natural for us to wonder about the wellbeing of people we care about though isn't it? Here you sit with your sister and your partner but I wonder how the hot little blonde number you were in here with on Wednesday night is going?"

Bo's air of calm was immediately lost as she shot up to her feet, "What did you just say? You stay away from my family and friends asshole or there will be a whole world of pain for you at the end of all of this"

"Oh, easy now Detective, easy. It's not nice to have people watching you is it? And yet, I've put up with your sitting outside my apartment for the past two weeks", leaning in closely Venman made sure Bo could feel his breath on her face "I'd encourage you to find a better way to spend your evenings or I may end up finding myself a better way to spend mine". He held the Bo's eye, and the intensity between the two had Tamsin standing ready to move as neither gave an inch. It was Venman who broke first, backing away before the smug smile returned to his face, "have a lovely day ladies".

Bo sat back down in the booth, shaking as she wiped her wet palms on her pants. May walked over after having watched the incident unfold from her position at the register.

"Bo, did you know that man?"

The brunette looked up at her, "he's a criminal May that's all, just making himself known to us".

May's face dropped and Bo saw it immediately, "what? What were you two talking about at the counter?"

There was panic in May's voice, "well, he was asking lots of questions about you both after you walked in. He just said, you know, that it looked like I knew you both well and how did that come to be. I think I told him a little bit about you but that's all, I promise".

"It's fine May, it's fine, but if he comes in here again, particularly on a Wednesday night I want you call me ok?" May nodded still looked shaken.

"Bo, we need to talk, why the hell have you been sitting outside Venman's apartment for the past two weeks. The Captain told us to stay away", Tamsin demanded.

Bo looked at her partner and sighed. This was not the Saturday morning she was hoping for. There were much much better ways to spend the first morning of the weekend. Now her day off was gone and her mind completely lost to the thought that she may have inadvertently put Lauren in danger.

* * *

xxxx

**Solomon Island's Three Years Earlier**

Lauren woke to the smell of coffee cascading through her stilted house and the feel of her lover's skin pressed tightly from behind against her own body. She moaned as Bo placed sloppily laid kisses across her shoulders and was wide-awake by the time those warm lips reached the hollow of her neck. Rolling over in the bed she found two dark brown eyes staring seductively at her.

"Mmmm, good morning. This is a very nice way to wake up", Lauren pressed her lips against Bo's before the brunette pulled her in closely making clear her early morning intentions.

"Well now that you're awake we should really get this weekend started…", Bo smirked into Lauren's lips before returning to the blonde's neck. She was determined to finish what she had started.

Kissing her way up to the jawline Bo could feel the body held tightly to her responding instantly. By the time she reached her ear Lauren had her hands deeply threaded into her lover's brown locks and a leg thrown over her hip. Saturday mornings seemed always to end up like this.

Every Friday evening Bo and Tamsin would head to the Dancing Cocktail after work and wait for Dan and Lauren to arrive. The banter would be heavy and the drinks would flow freely. Often the four would bring the party back to Dan and Lauren's house where they'd sit out on the large balcony that overlooked the sea and play cards while listening to music until the early hours. When the night was done Tamsin would take up her position on the fold out couch in the lounge as Bo and Lauren headed to bed together, collapsing in exhaustion from their respective weeks. When the sun rose in the morning Bo was usually the first awake and would sneak out to the kitchen to brew up some coffee before returning to bed.

Lauren would always awaken on those mornings to Bo's initially gentle physical prompts, a hand exploring flesh, lips touching skin. Sometimes she would pretend to be asleep for as long as she could, just to see how much of a state she could work her lover into. But not this morning, on this Saturday Lauren felt her desire peak the second she felt Bo's lips upon her skin.

Almost in an instant Lauren found herself pinned under the brunette, her arms lifted above her head and wrists held tightly in place for just a moment. Bo kneed open her lover's thighs allowing her own to rest at the doctor's core. She pressed herself firmly against the wetness that had already gathered there and brought her mouth to Lauren's, closing her eyes tightly as the tremors of emitted groans rushed through to her chest.

The blonde brought her hands to Bo's face removing her from their deeply held kiss so she could look upon her for a moment.

"I love waking up to this, to you, like this", Lauren moaned, casting her head back into her pillow as the brunette responded with a firm thrust of her body.

The doctor dug her fingers into Bo's back as she held her tightly, breathing heavily against her ear before biting down on her lobe. The contact had the desired result with Bo pulling away slightly and allowing Lauren just enough leverage to roll the woman over onto her back.

Now flat on her back with Lauren on top of her the detective laughed, "cheeky doctor, now that you have me here what are you going to do with me?"

Lauren pushed herself upright, laying her knees on either side of Bo hips so that she was straddling her. She picked up both of the brunette's hands and brought them to her breasts, "It's not what I want to do to you, it's what I'd like you to do to me".

Bo's eyes lit up as the blonde took one of the hands that she had just placed on her breast and guided it to her center, the brunette gasping as her fingertips reached the hot soaking ingress of her lover's wanton desire. Bo could see what she wanted but lingered for a moment watching need and desperation cross the blonde's face, her eyes begging only moments before the words came to do the same.

"Bo, please, give it to me now", that was all that was required to destroy any willpower the brunette was feigning.

As she slipped herself inside Bo watched in awe as Lauren leaned back, her flat palms pressed into the sheets behind her as she began to move her hips rhythmically against the force of fingers gently thrusting into her. Bo was certain, as she watched the sheened curvature of muscles across the blonde's abdomen flex, that she had never witnessed anything so beautiful in all of her life.

The blonde's eyelids closed firmly as she bit down on her lower lip, taking in the sensations now overwhelming her body. The brunette took a moment just to watch Lauren's masterly control before she sat up pulling the woman's mouth down onto her own in a forceful kiss.

The intensity of clashing tongues had the blonde immediately increasing the rate of thrusts as Bo matched and met her every move. Wrapping her free arm tightly around the blonde's back she was able to increase the force of movement as her bicep strained and tensed to keep up with the fervent pace that was now being set.

The brunette brought her mouth down to Lauren chest sucking and biting down gently on her nipples as the blonde arched above her. All the doctor could do was catch her fingers in the tussled hair of the detective and moan as she began to become overwhelmed by the sensory experience happening across, within and throughout her body.

Lauren held Bo's head tightly under her chin as she felt fingers curled inside her. It was all far too much to bear as she pulled hard on the brunette's hair, feeling herself drift towards the precipice of her desire.

_This feels so good, this feels so fucking good_, the words repeated in Lauren's mind over and over so loudly she couldn't really say if she was just thinking them or screaming them. She desperately tried to tune out, to let her mind drift somewhere that would allow her to hold this feeling for just a little longer, but all she could think about and all she could hear was the wet sounds of sex as the two women threw themselves into each other.

"Bo, oh god, I don't think I can hold on any longer"

Bo said nothing, but with her ear to Lauren's chest she could hear the increased heart rate of her lover as it matched the clenched intention wrapped now around her fingers. She wanted to feel her lover fall over the edge and so lifted her palm and thumb to increase the friction against Lauren's core. The blonde's body arched into the contact and the mere action of doing so finished her completely. As she came she held onto Bo so tightly that all that the brunette could taste, see and breath was her salted skin.

Lauren's head collapsed onto the strong shoulders below, her breath still panting in tired relief. It was only when she heard the blonde's breathing return to a lighter cadence that Bo lay back down on the bed bringing Lauren down slowly with her. The blonde adjusted herself keeping a leg entwined within Bo's as she settled into the crook of her neck, enjoying the soft kisses that were now being placed on the crown of her head.

"Bo?" Lauren whispered into the brunette's neck

"Hmmm?"

"Do you think it will always be like this?"

Bo pulled her head back slightly before sniggering, "what do you mean? The sex? God I hope so"

Lauren lifted her hand and placed it on brunette's chest, settling it over her heart, "I hope we always have mornings like this, even when we're old and decrepit".

Bo laughed, it would only be a few weeks until she left the Islands but after six month with this woman she already knew that this was the person she most definitely wanted to grow old with.

"I hear old and decrepit sex is the sexiest kind", she snickered laying another kiss atop the blonde's head.

Lauren laughed heartedly before squirming slightly in Bo's arms, "urrgh, I'm really not sure I want to think about that too much just yet"

"Fair enough" Bo laughed before her voice turned slightly more serious, "tell me what you want to do when you get home? It'll be hard to go from doing what you do here to a clinic or hospital. What's going to get you from young and beautiful through to old an decrepit?"

Lauren lifted her chin matching the direction of her eyes as she thought about the answer to that question, "I just love working with people, I don't know, I'm good in the field and I know those skills translate well in ERs and that's where I trained so, I think that's what I'd like to go back to. What do you think I should do?"

Bo let out a laugh, she had no idea about medicine but she could tell by the respect Lauren seemed to garner that she was very good at what she did. In their few times in the field together to do supply runs she could see that Lauren was dedicated to her patients and the communities she worked in.

"To be honest, I feel like I'm dragging you back to Toronto, so all I really want is for you to find something that makes you happy. If after a while you feel like you need to change or move away again then I'm with you, whatever you need to do, we'll find a way. The only thing I want is more Saturday mornings like this!"

The brunette was not going to get a disagreement from the doctor, "deal, more Saturdays like this, everything else can work itself out"

Bo ran circles with her index finger across Lauren's stomach and the doctor sensed the woman had something she wanted to say, it wasn't long until the detective found the words, "you know my Saturday mornings in Toronto usually involve breakfast with Kenzi at Henry's. Do you think you can handle a family tradition that's almost as old as time and waffles that are just about as close to perfection as any food can possibly be?"

Lauren moved out of Bo's arms and sat up on her elbow, "that sounds wonderful to me, that is if Kenzi is ok with it of course"

"Kenzi is going to love you, _I_ _love you_ Lauren. I want you to be a part of everything in my life and I want to be a part of everything that you allow me to be in yours"

The sincerity of the words made Lauren pull Bo in firmly against her body, squeezing as she kissed down on her shoulder, "well maybe we could start our own little pre-breakfast tradition, you know, on a Saturday before we get to Henry's"

Bo eyed her suspiciously, "Oh? Tell me more"

In a flash Lauren was on top of the brunette again, this time she was the one sloppily laying kisses on the neck before making her way to Bo's mouth, finding eager and willing lips waiting for her.

"I'd prefer to show you what I mean detective"

Bo's head reclined back, her body arching up as Lauren slowly made her way down her succulent frame. As she enjoyed the tips of blonde hair tickling her skin Bo couldn't help but think about just how much she loved mornings like this and just how much she was going to enjoy them more when the two were finally back together in Toronto.


End file.
